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:iconqueengwenevere:
QueenGwenevere Featured By Owner Aug 10, 2010
Well, naps are good... getting outside and taking mental breaks is good... and make sure you eat healthy, that helps with energy (or lack thereof)...

Also, dunno if it'll help, but there's a thread on ConceptArt with a ton of links for all kinds of art motivation issues, there's a lot of good stuff in there. It's this thread here: [link]

I feel like if I create anything it must MUST be OMG PORTFOLIO WORTHY or I'm wasting my time.

I've felt like that, when I started freelancing especially, and even now sometimes when I'm in a long slump between jobs... Like I'm not sure what I should be working on, and I'm afraid to waste time working on "the wrong thing". It sometimes helps if I kind of set myself a schedule - work on work-related/portfolio/"important" stuff for a certain amount of time, then leave a little time to goof off and work on more random fun stuff. At least that way if I work on "more important" stuff first, I don't feel guilty about working on other stuff. (And often the "less important" stuff turns out to be worthwhile in the end, anyway.)

Though of course that means having time to work on anything to begin with... :/

Maybe if you lack time and energy, set yourself some itty-bitty daily art tasks for now? Maybe that would be a way to feel like you're accomplishing something, (however small), but without too much pressure.
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Devious Comments

:iconbilious:
Bilious Featured By Owner Aug 10, 2010  Professional General Artist
I think a lot of it is just my dad's attitude at me all the time. It gets to the point where I'm afraid to be drawing when he's around because he'll be like "Is that a commission? Did you get paid to draw that?" "Is that for a client? Is that for the portfolio?" and if it's not business related he gets mad at me. And if it is, he'll sit there and explain how much he hates my digital drawing verses my traditional drawing and how he hates my inking so I'm left afraid to draw while he's awake or face hyper-criticism-to-the-point-of-not-being-constructive-criticism (His excuse when I finally sobbed at him that I can't take it anymore is "Well I've been really stressed, forgive me" - I've been really stressed too, I wish he'd just let me do my thing and not always be wrapped up in his own things and trying to hyper manage me constantly. D: ) but we've been so busy he's not asleep until eleven or so and it's like ugggggg I don't want to do my drawing in a dark corner late at night for just a half hour. But if I start now, will he give me shit? I want to draw in the sunshine at the nice table and not be sassed or interrupted every two seconds while on my own agenda, but as it stands that's impossible. We're in "High alert" thanks to his partner failing us and that means even less sleep and even less chance of repose anytime soon.

And so the cycle continues. Even if I try to ignore it when he's being bitchy, or whatnot it's just... it's been a year and a half of anxiety issues related to my work, I'm amazed I've finished anything, let alone what I see as a pile of useless crap. I just need a break from life I feel like. Can't go into too many details but IRL needs to sort itself the hell out or IDK what my psyche will do. I'm glad to have at least vented here, it's pretty futile and I guess I need to just buck up and tell my dad to leave me alone when I'm drawing or writing, but it's hard with him interrupting me every five minutes. (Like he just did now when I was trying to write this. I'm busy venting about him being all up in my biz all the time and he wanted me to search Lowes for emergency ladders.) If it's incoherent in any way it's because I've been stopped every few seconds and if I tried to explain to him my frustrations with the situation he would give a list of excuses and talk through me. Tina doesn't get to talk outside of the computer.)





Textwall bitchery aside, I think it mostly comes down to the fact that this past year has sucked giant hairy monkey balls and my saturation/tolerance levels have overflooded. Hopefully once this crisis passes things will start to pick up. I need to supe up my portfolio again all over. It's tons of projects I'm excited to do, but not a lot of drawing- I seem to not be refined enough to get the drawing jobs outside of a handful of commissions now and then, and that's disheartening, but my talents are so varied my current portfolio doesn't even cover them all. (I mostly post my personal work on DA)

After I finish this owed art piece tonight (hopefully) I should work on a personal piece I've been wanting to do for months even if it's really nothing but personal reference for FUTURE pieces. Bwaaarg I miss comicing. My friend told me I should really do more storyboarding because I'm not only good at it but it's easier to get hired for than other animation jobs. I agree, but I also need more short animation samples, more stop-motion fiddling, more.... everything. Current list of projects include: Prosthesis examples, life casting examples, animatronics examples, and foam fabrication examples. Not much drawing there. And I'm tired and feel like there's only so much of me to go around and BWAAAARRRG. Hopefully starting this weekend I can hide in the studio and crank some of these objects out just to show I can. Still, wondering where to fit in drawing in all this.

Venting does help and I'm so glad to have friends who understand and can help shout at me to cheer up. D: <3 I hate carrying these negative thoughts with me, I AM generally an optimistic person. I'm just at the end of my rope emotionally at this point. At least it's during the aftermath of most of this shit.
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:iconqueengwenevere:
QueenGwenevere Featured By Owner Aug 10, 2010
Eeeek. Well no WONDER you're stressed! :noes: I don't think I could work with parents hovering over me all the time either... It was bad enough living in their living room a couple years back when I had a broken leg, just about drove me crazy...

I guess I need to just buck up and tell my dad to leave me alone when I'm drawing or writing <<< THIS, yes! though maybe when you're feeling slightly less stressed...

Sounds like you really need some space to yourself. Like, a room with a door. That closes. And can be barricaded. Did you ever build forts out of furniture and cardboard boxes? That's what you need now - a fort. A dad-proof fort.

Or partitions. (Oh god, you could make your own cubicle... um, not sure if that's the best idea...)

Or maybe you can take some of your work outside someplace that's not under constant surveillance... Or hide in the studio. That sounds good.
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:iconbilious:
Bilious Featured By Owner Aug 10, 2010  Professional General Artist
Lol well I have an open invitation to work at my friend's studio, so when I get to the latexing stage of the game I can go harass him at least. XD

Additionally what really really sucks is that we have wireless internet in the whole house EXCEPT FOR MY BEDROOM. I have no idea what it is, there must be like. Wiremesh in the walls of the livingroom or something but it's like. While I'm drawing I like to have my laptop so I can hit up google for references and chit chat on messengers while at my drawing table but FFFFFFFFFFFFF.

But yeah stress levels are the main issue definitely. XD

I napped and since venting I'm feeling a lot better too.
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