B
literature

'Be Politically Correct!' Reprise Revised

14 Favourites
3 Comments
367 Views
[Continued from the previous song parody…]

[Spoken]

[HYENA MESSENGER]
Scar!  Guys!  Good news!

[SCAR]
Silence, fool!  Can you not see that I’m taking a moment to mourn the loss of my most famous musical number?

[HYENA MESSENGER]
That’s what I was coming to talk to you about!  We’re gonna sing our song after all!

[SCAR]
Oh?  Do go on.

[HYENA MESSENGER]
Yeah, but…uh…the vocals and lyrics are reworked to sound all shouty and scary and psycho.  It’s also a lot shorter.

[SCAR]
[Pauses]
Very honestly, I’m not sure what to make of that.  It certainly sounds intimidating, but is it worthy of my original piece, especially when the new me lacks the human facial characteristics?

[2019 SCAR]
You’re just saying that because my voice actor is black, aren’t you, RACIST?  Now, give me my privilege!

[SCAR]
*Gah!*  What are you even doing here, Reboot Me?!  I thought you were above getting triggered like social justice warriors.    I didn’t make a single racial remark, and you still act like I did because you’re looking for any excuse to get angry.  You SJWs always pretend there’s racism where none exists.

[2019 SCAR]
But…my privilege!!

[SCAR]
Listen: the problem isn’t the voice actors or their skin color—after all, people more often watch animated films for the characters they can see rather than the voice actors they can’t see.  The problem is the realism.  The very disturbing near-shot-for-shot reshoots of classic scenes with too much realism and not enough colorful facial expressions, body language, or other ways of expressing human emotion.  

[SHENZI]
Yeah!  And your hyenas ain’t even a little funny!

[BANZAI]
Get out before we eat you alive!

[SCAR]
Er…I…oh, never mind.

[Singing]

It’s time Favreau came to his senses!
“Be Prepared” will receive an encore!
But, as per the audience consensus,
The Uncanny Valley’s in store.

[HYENAS]
Amid all the feuding and rages,
There’s one thing we do know for sure:
O.G. Disney lasts through the ages!
Live action remakes don’t endure.

[SCAR]
So, prep—

[2019 SCAR]
2-D films are yesterday’s message!
A clapped-out, distracted regime
Whose failings undoubtedly presage
The need for a different dream!

[SCAR]
*Hah!* You just plagiarized your own thesis,
Which now shows how lazy you are!

[HYENAS]
Like your film!

[SCAR]
The point of this parodic piece is:
YOU’LL NEVER OUTWIT CLASSIC SCAR!!!

[ED]
*Laughs.*

[SCAR]
Still, prepare for a dark age for Disney.
Be prepared for the brand’s suicide.

[HYENA #1]
I heard they’ve for sure made
A woke Little Mer

[HYENA #2]
If we don’t spill details,
It might increase gross sales!

[HYENAS]
Our lack of emotion
Has led to commotion!

[SCAR]
The Disney we once loved has died!

[ALL (–2019 SCAR)]
SJWs won’t leave us spared.
Be prepared!

[HYENAS]
SJWs won’t leave us spared.

[SCAR]
Be prepared!
The problem with the Lion King reboot isn't the race pandering, really.  It's more or less the photorealism stripping away the emotion, humor, and heart that made the first one a timeless classic.  That's why I've revised my reprise to my meta-referential "Be Prepared" parody "Be Politically Correct!" after hearing it included in the new movie.  Partially based on the deleted "Be Prepared" reprise from the original film, it even features a self-deprecating cameo from 2019 Scar.
Published:
© 2019 - 2020 Colonel-Knight-Rider
Comments3
anonymous's avatar
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In
MutantEnjin's avatar

the only reason why disney remade the lionking was becuase the copyright was about to expire!

Colonel-Knight-Rider's avatar
Colonel-Knight-RiderHobbyist General Artist
You’re kidding! I thought they just wanted another $1.6 billion worldwide.
Stitchthebest36's avatar

This post is basically every single 2019 "Lion King" review I'v read so far in a nutshell. I plan to see the movie next weekend before I pass judgement on the film. That being said, I saw a leaked clip of the scene where Scar throws Mufasa to his death and gosh did that scene look wonky like they were using hyper realistic dead lions created by a taxidermist. I hope the rest of the movie does not look as bad as the leak clip. Timon seems to move with more expressions than others in the trailers. I heard the soundtrack to the "Lion King" 2019 remake on youtube and I think the actors nailed the voices in and of themselves. I was happy to see "Be Prepared" on the soundtrack. My guess is they cut the song down to remove all the "idiot" lines which some people view as ableist against intellectually disabled people. As for black Ariel, I don't fault the actress who was casted, and frankly Ariel casted as black doesn't bother me, personally, quite as much as other "SJW diverse" casting decisions because Ariel is a mythical creature so I think they have more wiggle room in regards to how the characters look physically. However casting Ariel as black still feels like artificial pandering. I noticed a lot of black/African American people creating youtube essays on why they felt Disney was being racist for assuming they could only relate to Ariel as a black character and felt a new movie with a black mermaid would have been better than remaking Ariel.