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Literature
Stripes, Strawberries and Starward Scoutmasters P2,And yet, the next time he saw the mongoose made him feel guilty about himself taking up a bed. "Patsy, are you feeling OK?" The mongoose looked like she had had her worst day yet. Her apron was smattered with water stains, and her pretty, new shoes were scuffed. Her body was hunched as she carefully shut the door behind her, finally letting out the sigh she'd been holding all morning. "Oh, I'm alright. Some of the patients were kind of nasty today. I'm just glad you're next on my list.""Well, I don't need anything," Lazlo told her. "In fact, uh, I was just about to… start meditating again—yeah! Do you want to jump in?"At the offer, her face lit up like a Christmas tree. "That sounds great."Lazlo patted the bed where his feet had been and gave her room to sit next to him. "Come on." The prospect of her closeness didn't make him the least bit uncomfortable today. Not when she looked about ready to collapse herself. Responsibility took over his other emotions: He wanted her close so he could keep an eye on her.This time, he didn't need to tell her what to do. She slipped off her shoes and sat crossed-legged with him on the bed, laying her palms down on her knees, and taking in deep breaths. It looked as if she'd been doing this for years.A contented smile crossed his face. He'd been feeling so bored and useless here, thinking about everything that might be going on back at camp. He was glad to help at least one scout here, even if it was a Squirrel Scout. In fact, he would be lying to himself if he didn't look forward to this, today. At least a little.Lazlo shifted back into his own meditation, and found that, surprisingly it wasn't very hard to focus. In fact, he felt more relaxed knowing she was here, away from the constant chaos going on elsewhere in the big hospital, safe with him. His eyes were getting heavy, and before he could stop it, he let out a yawn. "Sorry," he said, turning towards her and opening his eyes. "I couldn't help it. That probably pulled you out of it.""Oh, don't yawn," she moaned. "That'll make me…" she trailed off. Sure enough, she did a big, slow yawn herself, stretching her arms over her head.It was the first time Lazlo had ever heard her do that, and he was taken aback by the soft, little noise it made. His attentive state caused him to fixate on her nose wrinkling, and her lashes fluttering. It all created a tickle right above his stomach he never felt before.When she was done, she glared playfully at him. "See what you did?""Sorry," he said again, chuckling. Then he became serious. "Patsy, if this is too much, why don't you just quit? Nobody's making you do this.""A Squirrel Scout doesn't just throw in the towel like that!" Patsy said defiantly. And Lazlo could tell that she was a little offended. "Besides, I'm not the one who's recovering from major surgery! I have nothing to complain about." She folded her arms and turned away with a pout."Yeah, but you need a break, you need a break."Patsy looked down at her lacy white socks thoughtfully before turning back to him. "Do you think… meditation could be done laying down?"Lazlo's eyes widened. "Um… sure, I don't see why not."She took his word for it, and laid herself back-down on the bed, with her legs hanging over the side. "Mmm, now this is relaxing…"Lazlo couldn't get himself to get back into pose. Not with her like that. It was too awkward, sitting up while she was laying down. The back of his mind was flickering with warnings about a girl laying down on his bed, and how there was something inappropriate about it. But strangely enough, the smile on her face made him content with it. In fact, the bed never looked so inviting. He found himself laying down on his side, with his head inches from hers. He tried to concentrate on picturing a place elsewhere, but his sleepy mind couldn't focus.And if he were being honest with himself, he didn't really want to be anywhere else, right now.When she turned her head, an uncurled lock from her hair brushed his hand, and that alone made him excited. But he kept his eyes shut.Despite not actually meditating, he was having the sort of eye-opening thoughts he would usually only have in that state. Why did it take so long to feel like he really knew this person? To realize she was as flesh and blood as any of the beans? Was it how disheveled she looked? How tired? The Squirrels may put on a good show of looking tidy and invincible, but there was no doubt in Lazlo's mind now that they were just as fallible as any Bean Scout.And right now, he couldn't get his mind off of the one right here, right now."Aww, how cute!"The voice stirred both scouts, and got them to sit up straighter than a drill from their scout leaders. Lazlo even slapped a hand to his forehead, saluting out of instinct, until he realized who it was."N-nurse Flannigan!" Patsy stammered."I was wondering where you'd gotten to," the young, bubbly nurse said with a giggle. "It's a good thing Nurse Rathood didn't find you first. We need a hand on the second floor. But I can see you're a little busy—""N-n-no, I'm not!" Patsy said. "I just got a little tired. I'll be right there! Don't start without me!" She hurried for the door, tossing Lazlo a goodbye over her shoulder.The spidermonkey sat up in bed, dazed. Once again, his own behavior confused him. Never, not with Raj, Clam, Grandma or anybody else he tried to teach meditation to did he feel this way.There was a new kind of discomfort forming in his gut, and now there was no appendix to blame it on. He knew he had to do something about it, but the guilt of acknowledging it made it hurt worse. Who knew conflicting emotions could be almost as miserable as an inflamed organ? X The door opened with its trademark 'click' he'd only heard a hundred times, thrusting the spidermonkey out of his dream. "Good evening, Lazlo," said the familiar voice of his doctor."No, no, no, Patsy, no…." Lazlo flailed in his sleep. He opened his eyes and found a wide eyed mountain lion giving him a curious stare. "Oh… I'm sorry, I thought you were someone else."The doctor chuckled. "Oh, that's okay. A lot of patients get a bit anxious when they stay in the hospital more than a few days, what with the doors opening every few minutes.""Oh, that's funny," Lazlo said, laughing dryly. His gaze shifted to the window and noticed that it was dark out. Patsy's visit must have only been a few hours ago. But it felt like he was only out for a few minutes."So, how are you doing today?""Fine," a groggy Lazlo said. He had to bite his lip to not snap at the doctor. He was tired of having to state that over and over again. And it bothered him that he was starting to question if it was becoming a lie."Really? Because you don't look well at all." He turned to the tray of food left over from earlier that afternoon, with only a single bite taken. "You barely even touched lunch.""I guess I just wasn't very hungry," he shrugged, chuckling nervously. "Hospital food, you know.""Oh, don't I know," the doctor rolled his eyes. "That said, I'm pretty worried. Your condition has only declined over the past few days. Normally those recovering from appendicitis are up and anxious to leave—especially children—but you've been having trouble just getting to your feet. I'm not sure if I can let you go, yet.""I'm fine, really!" Lazlo insisted. "I feel great—like a brand new man! Please, doc, you can't keep me here!" he pleaded, with his hands folded. "You gotta let me go! It's one of my last summers at camp! I can't waste it sitting here in this bed!""I'm sorry, son, but your parents would be very unhappy with me if I sent you back before you're physically ready to go." He pulled his clipboard from under his arm and began writing. "I'm issuing some new tests to be done...""More tests?" he asked, looking nauseous. Since he got here, they'd already taken a dozen vials of his blood, given him more shots than he ever thought he'd get in a lifetime, and poked and prodded every limb in his body. With all the needles going in and out of him, he was starting to feel less like a kid and more like a quilt."Don't worry, we're going to find out what's wrong," the doctor said in a kindly voice. "Now, try to get some rest," he told him, before gently shutting the door.If he had the energy, Lazlo could've screamed. But he just collapsed back into the bed with his arms out to the side. He could've cried, but his eyes were so dry, all he could do was rub them with his palms. "Aagh! I know I'd be fine if I could just get one good night's sleep!"Nurses and doctors constantly barged in and out of the room, like a revolving door in a shopping center in the middle of New York, prodding him and asking him stupid questions. But they weren't even the whole problem.Patsy was contributing to his exhaustion, there was no doubt about it. She was here for him, but he was worried for her. If he never went home, she never would, either. And the cycle would never stop."Striper Smiles is gonna put me in an early grave." X He was just starting to doze off again when there was another knock at the door."Ugh… come in," he called out in a weak voice. But seeing the face from behind the door made him sit up right away. "Mom!"A brown haired, brown eyed spidermonkey in business casual clothing crossed the room with her arms outstretched, one hand landing on his shoulder, another brushing his bangs aside gently. "Hello, baby," she greeted in a heavy Brazillian accent. "How are you feeling?""Fine," he told her without true conviction. He hadn't seen her since that first night in the hospital, and it was a bit of a surprise to see her again so soon—though he thought he knew why. "Uh, where's Dad?""Speaking with the doctor," she told him, her voice somewhat tense. "He and I are not happy at all with the fact that he cannot tell us what is making you so weak.""But I swear, I'm fine!" Lazlo pleaded. "See, I can get up and walk around and everything!" he said, pushing aside the blanket and getting himself to stand beside the bed on the other side. But he'd make the mistake of moving too fast, felt a flash of lightheadedness, and his knees buckled beneath him.With a cry he dug his fingers into the sheets and prevented himself from falling to the floor, as his mother quickly ran around to the other side to help him back up. "Lazlo, be careful!" she scolded him, though it came out after the fact, and sounded more as more of a plea.Defeated, Lazlo let his mother pick him up and put him back on the bed, feeling like a toddler again, and embarrassed about it."Something just is not right," she told him with a grave expression. She reached forward and felt his forehead. "Not a fever, but you've never looked so tired." She pulled her hand back with a sigh. "Your father and I know you better than anyone: We know you try to hide when you are unwell so no one will worry about you. And if you do not get any better, I am afraid we will have to take you home with us."Lazlo's heart skipped a beat. "Take me HOME! Y-you can't!" He cupped his hands together. "Please, mom, you gotta let me go back to camp! I don't wanna go home and leave all my friends!" As he said this, burning hot tears pushed up behind his eyes, and he wiped them away. Up to this point, he'd refused to let himself get emotional about this, knowing it would only make the situation worse. But he couldn't hold it back anymore. He cupped his hands over his eyes and sobbed.Seeing this display of passion made the parent more uncertain than ever. "Instinct tells me if you were really that sick, you would not be able to make such a fight about this," she decided out loud, raising a brow. She raised his chin in her hands to make him look her in the eyes. "Lazlo, if there is anything you are not telling the doctors, you have to speak up!""I tried…. they won't listen," he said, trying to stop the sobs with careful breathing. In, out. Like meditating. Soon enough, he got in control of it. "I know I'd get better at camp. I just can't sleep here. Every two minutes there's a—"Crash! Yet another loud noise in the hallway. While Lazlo barely flinched, his mother spun and looked at the doorway, taking on a look of suspicion. "Hm… suddenly I am reminded of being in the hospital, after you were born—as if it were just yesterday, in fact." After saying this, the young mother looked a tad nauseous herself, if just the words unearthed an unpleasant memory she'd buried.She turned back to him and studied his expression. "And either you are telling me the truth, or you are very convinced about what you are saying.""I am!"She nodded, thoughtfully. Before she responded, her gaze flitted to the IV sticking out of Lazlo's arm, her eyes trailing it all the way back up to the dripping bag with a flicker of suspicion. "I will have a few words with them," she told him, determinedly. She kissed her child's forehead, and gave him a gentle hug that did not upset his still-healing abdomen. "Seeing you unhappy is just as hard as seeing you unwell."Lazlo took advantage of the privacy and kept the hug going for a long time without feeling self conscious about it, even rubbing his cheek into her shoulder.The hardest part about saying goodbye to his mother was the uncertainty of what was going to happen next. Though he'd stopped crying, his stomach was in such knots, he couldn't sleep even if he did get some peace and quiet. X "Today is the day!" Raj cried, hopping up and down as he hurried to Lazlo's bed. He saw the lump under the hospital bed and shook him. "Lazlo, get up! Today is the day you go home!"The lump under the sheets slowly began to move, and Lazlo stuck his head out.Raj gasped when he saw his best friend's face. He was pale and there were deep, dark rings under his eyes that hadn't been there just a few days ago. "Lazlo, what happened? You look worse than ever!"Lazlo groaned and sat up. "It's a long story…"Shortly after, through the opened door, Slinkman and Clam followed. "Word on the floor is that you're not feeling so good, Lazlo," said the Scoutmaster's assistant.Lazlo put his hands together and looked to Slinkman with desperation. "Please, Slinkman, you're my last hope! My parents are gonna try and take me home!""They are WHAT?" Raj cried out."Say it isn't so-ho-ho!" Clam exclaimed, coming to the right side of the bed."They can't do that!" Raj screamed. "Lazlo belongs in Camp Kidney!""Don't deport our pa-ha-ha-ha-hallll!" Clam cried, falling to the floor in sobs."I'm sorry boys. It's simply out of my hands." Slinkman took off his cap and held it to his heart. He headed back to the door. "I'll vouch for Lazlo to stay a little longer, but that's the most I can do.""SLINKMAN GOTTA FIX LAZLOOOOOO!" The inconsolable rhino cried, running out the door after the slug, his stream of tears making two trails of water on the floor, wrapping from inside the room out into the hallway."Hey, what's all this wat-aaaaghh!"Raj and Lazlo grimaced as they heard a random patient take a hard spill on Clam's tear tracks. The elephant turned to Lazlo and grabbed him by the shoulders. "Lazlo, what on earth is going on! Why haven't you returned to your normal buoyant monkey self? What is keeping you so ill?"Before Lazlo responded, a girl's voice cut him off. "Oh, am I interrupting?"Raj and Lazlo turned towards the door, and Lazlo gulped. "Hi… P-Patsy."The pink pachyderm narrowed his eyes at her. "What on earth are you doing here?" He pointed to her striped apron. "And what's with that ridiculous sexist bedside getup?"Patsy grabbed some of the stained apron in her hands. "Oh this? I'm a Candy Striper."Raj's eyes widened. "Candy Striper? You mean they still have those?""No duh." The mongoose put her hand to her heart proudly. "And for your information," she said, smugly, "I've been proudly serving the patients of this hospital for the past three days, from morning until dusk. Including our dear indisposed scout, here."Raj glared at her, putting his hands on his hips. "Oh, really?""Raj—" Lazlo started."Hahaha, Power Puff Time is Fun Time!" chimed an overly saccharine voice, coming from Patsy's wrist. "It is now three PM!"Patsy tapped a button on her colorful plastic watch and turned back to Raj with cold eyes. "Well, I see Lazlo has some company today. Now if you'll excuse me, I have other work to attend to." She waved at the monkey. "Goodbye Lazlo. I'm afraid we won't be able to meditate together today. There's just so much to do..." she sighed.Lazlo only gulped at Patsy in return.When the door shut, Raj turned his angry gaze on Lazlo instead. "So! I see you have a new student!" he said fiercely, putting his hands on his hips. "Exactly when did you plan on telling me this?"Lazlo held up his hands defensively. "N-n-now hold on there, Raj! It's not what it looks like!""Oh, I think I know exactly what's going on here, Lazlo!" Raj shouted.Lazlo held his breath in fear. "What is that?" he squeaked."Stockholm syndrome!" Clam interjected."Not quite, Clam," Raj told him, before turning back to Lazlo. "But not far off either. Lazlo, she is treating you like a plastic baby doll! That is why you can't get any rest!""That's not true!" The spidermonkey kneaded his temples with frustration. "There are doctors and nurses, and the room is stuffy, and I keep having bad dreams! I don't wanna eat and I can't get any sleep, and the doctors won't let me go home until I do both! Patsy's only… a small part of that," he said, sighing. Even he wasn't entirely convinced that was true. But had no idea what to think was wrong anymore."Oh, and I am supposed to believe that it is only a total coincidence that the minute Patsy gets involved with the hospital, you suddenly take a turn for the worst?""Okay, look!" Lazlo insisted. "I know the situation looks bad, but I'm telling you, she's only trying to help! And the only reason I tried to teach her meditation is because she's stressed out, too!"But the elephant was not listening. "And that makes it okay for her to dump her problems on you? You are the patient! This is totally unacceptable! Why haven't you said anything? You are not her toy! You need to tell that love-sick, pink-haired pest to get lost, immediately!""I can't!" Lazlo said, shaking his weary head. "She's helping out other patients when she's not knocking on my door. Who am I to shoo her away, now?""I'll tell you exactly who you are!" Raj shouted, pointing a finger at his friend's nose. "You are going to be Patsy Smiles's casualty if you do not stand up for yourself! Lazlo, you are too nice! You cannot let anybody walk all over you like this! And you cannot be responsible for anybody else's welfare when you yourself are not well! And if you don't speak up, I will!" And the elephant stormed for the door. "Mr. Slinkman!"Suddenly, panic struck Lazlo in the gut. "Y-you-you can't do that!"Raj turned and gave him a suspicious look. "And just why not?"Lazlo gulped. "Because I, uh... I need to tell this to her myself. I mean, uh, if you tell her," he rubbed the back of his head. "That'll make me seem kind of cowardly, don't you think?"Raj saw the pathetic look on Lazlo's face and folded his arms, finally sympathetic. "Alright. But I am giving you until the end of today," he told Lazlo, pointing his index finger to the ceiling. "When I come back tomorrow, you better have told her off!" He turned and headed for the door. "Now I had better go try and calm Clam down before he turns this hospital into the new Ganges river..."When Raj closed the door, Lazlo sank into his pillow, pushing his hands up to his eyes. "Ahhhh, this is terrible!"Only all alone, he let himself think out the confession he dare not speak. If I tell her I don't want her around, she'll think I don't want her around, ever, and that's not true. I like having her around. She makes me feel useful. Kind of… special. And brave he thought, thinking about her gushing over him during her first visit. Like he was some kind of hero for nearly getting himself killed. I like having her around because… I kind of…His face flushed hot, remembering his desire to taste her lip gloss, still as strong as ever. Like-like her…He could not tell this to anyone. Not even Raj, who always gave him the best advice a guy could ask for. In fact, the female-phobic pachyderm was the last person he could tell this to. And Lazlo would sooner throw himself out of the window, through the glass, right now, then even consider explaining these feelings to Patsy, either.There was only one person to go to for help, now."Ohhhhh," he groaned, closing his eyes and pushing his fingers against his eyes. "S.M.I.T.S., what should I doooo?"At first, the blue hospital room remained still and quiet. Then, suddenly, a roar.The floor beneath him shook, and the bed began to rattle. Tables, chairs, and trays on wheels shivered. Tools shook and rolled onto the floor. His water glass fell off of the table nearest him and shattered on the tiled floor. Lazlo's eyes snapped open and he got out of the covers, looking over the side. Before he could think to call for help, the bed began to slice down the middle. A powerful force was ripping the room apart, bed and floor together, and Lazlo scuttled to the front of the bed, hanging onto the top for dear life. But soon, even that was coming apart down the middle. His left and right arms were stretched apart as the cleanly cut sides of the bed began pulling away from each other.At last, they'd pulled farther apart than his wingspan could reach, and his body gave into his exhaustion, the last of his fingers letting go of the fabric. Suddenly, he was falling face first into a bright red and yellow chasm of lava, brighter than the brightest campfire. He screamed like he never had screamed in his life, the bubbles of magma coming closer and closer to his face. He felt the heat of a fire, stepping too close. Hotter. Hotter. Hotter. He covered his face, unable to stare at it anymore... X Plop.The monkey landed bottom-down on a plush, blue mattress, a few feathers scattering as they escaped a rip.Lazlo remained with his hands stuck to his face for a good few moments before realizing he was alright. His fingers slowly opened, and he looked around the foggy white void of nothing he was in. "Huh?" he said, as his voice echoed.Carefully, he stood up on the mattress, pulling the backside of his hospital gown closed. For some reason, he was still conscious of keeping his briefs covered, even though it appeared like he was very much alone."Where am I?" he asked, louder, not sure if he was asking anyone but himself.Before long, he got his answer. "You raaaaaaaaaaang?"The booming, manly voice nearly knocked the little monkey off of his feet. But he knew that voice. "Scoutmaster in the Sky?""You didn't think that was funny?" the booming voice asked. "Raaaaaaaaang? Geddit? The Addams Family? Aw, it's before your time. I keep forgetting." He reached up, and Lazlo heard the sound of his forehead being smacked. "Twenty-first century now.""Where are you?" Lazlo demanded, shielding his eyes as he peered around the cloud-white wasteland."What do you mean? I'm right here—oh, crackers! That's right," the entity said, slapping his forehead. "The fog machine is broken. Here, I'll turn the fan on."S.M.I.T.S., or at least he claimed to be, snapped his fingers, and at once, an almost silent force began drawing the room itself upward. The puffy, white oblivion becoming solid clouds that were sucked into what Lazlo now recognized was a very large ceiling fan, on a very high, but tangible ceiling."Where…? How…?" Lazlo began. He spun around, taking in his new surroundings. Now the space he occupied had walls—wood paneled, to be exact. And covered in posters of bands dating back to Woodstock. There was a couch, a pool table, a shiny blue fridge, and a ten foot stereo, with half a wall lined with hundreds of records, cassettes, and 8-tracks. The side of the wall next to it was decorated with vintage guitars and pictures of famous musicians. In the left corner of that was an uncarpeted section of floor with a massive set of drums, keyboard, and microphone stand, as well as the broken fog machine, which just appeared to be wafting smoke now.Everything looked oddly normal—except it was all so huge. It made the spidermonkey feel like an ant.And standing to Lazlo's front was a man of at least fifty feet, whose face was still obscured by the fog lingering near the ceiling. "I have got to get that machine fixed," the booming voice of S.M.I.T.S. griped. "This always happens when I bring campers up here.""Where am I?" Lazlo asked again in an echoing voice. He sniffed the air and was assaulted with the scent of corn chips. Or dirty socks. He hoped it was the former."Hang on, we've still got an echo. I'll fix that," the entity told him. He crossed the room on booming feet with green flip-flops, and turned a dial on his stereo. He then turned back to Lazlo. "There," he said. His voice was still deep, but the heavenly echo was gone. "Anyway, welcome to… The Fortress..." He said this while wiggling his big, meaty fingers in front of his chest in a way he must've thought was magnetic."'Fortress'?" Lazlo asked skeptically. He looked left and right before turning back to the Beanly Deity. "It just looks like a smelly, oversized rec. room," he said with a shrug."That's because it… is my rec. room," S.M.I.T.S. explained, sounding a bit flustered. "But it also functions as a hideout," he said, pointing to a big poster Lazlo hadn't noticed before. A large green, square sign beneath the window, reading 'NO GIRLS ALLOWED' in white lettering."But if you're S.M.I.T.S," Lazlo asked, finally speaking without the echo, "then where's the pink clouds? And the pearly gates? And the big book of Bean Scout Rules on a ten foot pedestal?""Oh, that's just my office," S.M.I.T.S. explained. "The boy scouts find it more relaxing here, so when I call you up to talk about personal matters, I bring you up here instead.""Up? But I thought I fell down!" Lazlo cried out. "All the way down… to the… bad place…""That's my trap door before my entry way," S.M.I.T.S. told him." Keeps intruders out. Besides, I'd be lying if I said I didn't think it's kind of funny to see the kids react like that. What's camping without a few pranks, am I right?"Lazlo opened his mouth to ask another question, then shook his head. This was all confusing, and it was starting to make him dizzy. His legs gave into their weakness, and he fell back down. Thankfully, he was still on the unsheeted mattress, which cushioned the blow."I knew I kept that old thing around for more than one thing," the Skyward Scoutmaster said, putting his hands on his hips. "Now," he said, taking a seat on the couch—which despite its impressive size, was still oddly small for him. He crossed one leg over the other and held his kneecap in both hands, while his foot bobbed. "Let's talk about... girls."Almost instantly, Lazlo began to sweat. "Wh-why would we talk about that?""Well, you asked for some advice about that little mongoose friend of yours?""Patsy," Lazlo clarified, before sighing. "All her helping hasn't helped me at all! She's wearing me out.""But she keeps trying, because she's very fond of you," S.M.I.T.S. said, nodding. "I mean, she like-likes you.""Yeah…" Lazlo responded reluctantly. "I know…""And," the age-old scoutmaster said, "You're afraid to tell her the truth: That you need space.""Well, yeah," Lazlo nodded, wincing. "I'm worried she'll hate me.""And you don't want her to stop liking you," he said, with a warm grin that could be heard in his tone, "because you kinda like-like her back.""N-n-ne-no-no I don't!" Lazlo stammered, sweating bullets down the side of his face. "That's not it at all!""But you told me yourseeeeelf," S.M.I.T.S. said, his manly voice taking on a sing-sing tone."No!" Lazlo shouted. But his heartbeat sped up, and he felt his cheeks turning red, betraying him."Lazlo and Patsy, sittin' in a twee," the godly voice sang. "K-I-S-S-I-N-" "Aaagh, fine! You caught me!"the monkey cried. "Just stop singing that." He recoiled and turned away. "No offense, but you could use some practice.""That's why I'm the bassist in our band," the divine Scoutmaster laughed. "The hardest thing to get out of boys is talking about the opposite sex.""But I don't want her to know, yet," Lazlo said worriedly, wringing the end of his tail with his fingers, like he did often when he was much smaller. "I'm just not ready.""And that's just fine," S.M.I.T.S said in an approving tone. "You're still in middle school, and kids your age shouldn't get hung up on the need for a relationship, even though it's glorified all over the media. When you're ready to do something about these feelings, you'll know.""I don't know when that'll be," the young spidermonkey said honestly, his face still red. "If ever. Besides," he added, dropping his tail, and gazing up at the faceless figure, "I don't know how Raj would handle it…"As he said this, a scenario played out in his head: X'Do you like Patsy?' asked Raj, pointing a finger at him.'Uh, kinda,' Lazlo replied, looking down at his feet.Raj stood in place for a moment, eyes looking at nothing, becoming a still as a statue. And when everything was quiet, he made a noise, like a machine breaking down. 'Does not compute.'BOOM! His head exploded, disappearing into thin air. And out from the neck came colorful confetti that filled the white void of a room.Lazlo shouted and fell to his feet, next to his decapitated friend. 'RAJ! MY BUDDY, NOOO!' XBack in the rec. room, Lazlo gulped. "I don't think I can ever tell him. Unless I figure out how to duct tape head pieces together.""I see, I see," S.M.I.T.S. said thoughtfully, reaching up to scratch his still invisible chin, high above his long, bushy beard."You do?""I do have five eyes, Lazlo," the entity told him."Really?" Lazlo asked squinting his eyes to try and see his face through the fog."Now, you have to listen to me very carefully," the giant Scoutmaster went on. "You love this girl, don't you?""I don't know...?""You wanna someday hold her?""I dunno… yeah?""Squeeze her?""Yes?""Please her?""I DON'T KNOW!"S.M.I.T.S. suddenly launched from the couch. "Then you gotta, gotta, gotta try a little romannnnnce! Chicks love that romantic junk!"Lazlo gaped up at the Scoutmaster in the Sky in silence for a moment before speaking. "Um, did you just quote Shrek at me?"The giant entity launched from the couch to his feet. "What? No! No I didn't!""Yes, you did!" Lazlo said. "That's Donkey's line from the end of the movie!"S.M.I.T.S. folded his arms and turned his massive shoulder towards Lazlo. "I have no idea what you are talking about," he said, defensively. "...I thought nobody remembered that," he grumbled."It's Shrek," Lazlo told him. "Everybody's seen that movie. We even watched it at Camp last year." The monkey scrutinized the goldy Scoutmaster. "Don't you ever actually give out your own advice?"S.M.I.T.S tapped his fingers together nervously. "Sometimes… erm… but it's hard. These days, kids don't really want to hear the afterschool special. They like flashy quotes from things they distantly recognize."Lazlo shrugged. "I'll take the afterschool special.""Really?" S.M.I.T.S asked, sitting back down on the couch.The spidermonkey nodded."Alright, alright, then! No more quotes," S.M.I.T.S. said, adjusting his neckerchief and clearing his throat. "Listen, if you want to solve your problem, you're just gonna have to be honest.""That's what Raj said," Lazlo explained. "But I don't know if I can. I'm just afraid to hurt her feelings.""Lazlo, you honestly acknowledge your emotions more than other boys. Why do you feel like you can't tell this to her yourself?""I don't know… because she's…""A girl?" S.M.I.T.S. asked."Uh, I don't know… I guess?""Don't you think boys and girls have the same feelings?""Well, of course," Lazlo answered. He thought back to seeing Patsy's eyes, seeing how tired she looked. How much he related to her in that moment. He sighed. "I guess it is sort of hypocritical.""Lazlo, you're old enough now to understand that girls aren't very different from us gents at all. They're not pieces of china, and they don't need extra protection. And they can be just as good companions, if you let them. If she truly wants to help you get better, she'd understand. Above all, she is your friend, just like Raj and Clam. What's important is that you and Patsy care about each other, and only want the best for each other."Lazlo thought about this. "Well… when you put it that way… I guess it makes sense.""That said, even the best of friends need a little distance from each other." He leaned back into the reclining couch, putting his hands behind his head. "That's what the man cave is for."Just then, a powerful 'SLAM' from up the rec. room stairs brought god and scout's conversation to a halt. "Julius, didn't I ask you to clean the hair trap after you man-scape?" boomed a powerful woman's voice."I did!" S.M.I.T.S. shouted up the stairs from his spot.At the top of the flight of steps, a giant pair of blue high heels appeared, with one foot tapping a heel the size of Lazlo's head. "Well, I hope you're ready to explain to the plumber that we drowned a curly haired, peppered gray mouse, again!" "Don't start with me now, Shirlina! I'm working!""Oh, yeah, yeah, counseling the Bean Scouts, blah, blah, blah. But when I drag us to Dr. Phillips, suddenly therapy is a bunch of crock, and he's a fifty-dollar-an-hour con artist!"S.M.I.T.S growled, as Lazlo watched the argument unfolded. The goldy man turned towards Lazlo. "O-kay... things are about to get a little ugly," S.M.I.T.S. told him in a whisper. "I gotta send you back now.""Wait!" Lazlo cried. "So, am I ever gonna see you again?""Oh, for sure! You know how to page me," S.M.I.T.S. told him. "But I tend to drop by and scoop you scouts up one by one for big life changing events. I'll probably see you again when you start puberty—oh, that'll be a blast," he said with a chuckle."Wait!" Lazlo cried in alarm, as his body began to float above the mattress. "Can I least get a warning before—AAAGH—!"But before he knew it, he was out of S.M.I.T.S range of hearing, being raised into the air, first slowly, then sucked higher and higher into the incredibly tall room, until all he could hear was the super-industrial sized ceiling fan. He looked up. Above him, the fan was spinning so fast, the blades were nearly invisible. Suddenly, the enormous cover protecting the blades popped off, soaring down to the ground. Lazlo braced for impact, but the cover flew right past his tiny form without so much as a scrape. He looked up and gasped.Inches from the blade, he closed his eyes and threw his hands up to shield them... X"—AAAGH!"He shot up in bed, his hands failing for the covers, throwing them over his head. After a few intense inhales and exhales, he slowly pulled the blanket down.The hospital room was dark. The window to his far right showed that it was night time. And for once, the hallway outside was oddly quiet, save for a stray pair of nurse's footsteps passing his door.He felt his face, his chin, his neck and body with his hands. He was in one piece, all right. No industrial fans, no broken fog machine. No S.M.I.T.S. and his hairy toes, half as tall as his own legs.Was it all really just a dream? But it seemed so real. Then again, some dreams did feel that way. He took a sip of water from the unbroken cup—plastic, not glass—on the side of his bed. He then dabbed the sweat on the back of his neck with the blanket and tossed it to the foot of the bed, folding his legs and placing his arms in a meditation pose.Soon enough, his heart beat began to return to normal, and rational thoughts began to find their way back to him. No matter who said it—his rational best friend, or a divine Camp entity with severe marital problems—the advice was correct. He had to tell Patsy the truth.Even if all they were right now was friends, he couldn't continue lying like this to a friend. It was just wrong—on top of its strain on his health."I just hope I have the strength," Lazlo said sadly. In his despair, he found himself having an Edward moment. "Why can't she just bury me in dirt by the lake instead? That would be a lot easier." XNot too long into breakfast the next morning, Patsy Smiles poked her little black nose through the door to Lazlo's room. "Hey, Lazlo. Aaaaand how are we feeling today?" she asked, mimicking Nurse Flannigan's greeting, right down to the cadence."Better," Lazlo told her, pushing his plate aside. "I even got more food down today." He wasn't sure why that was. It was as if the relief of knowing what he was about to do brought his appetite back."That's wonderful!" she said, clasping her hands together and rushing to his side. "Oh, I'll tell the doctor right away! He'll be thrilled!""Heheh, yeah," the spidermonkey agreed, before clearing his throat. "So, uh, how are the other patients doing?""Oh, just great for the most part," the mongoose said thoughtfully. "Alberta started walking yesterday, and Mr. Simmons finally won a game of poker against his sister, Nita—though I think it's because Nita was caught up ranting about her daughter's dog at the time.""That's great," Lazlo remarked, thoughtfully. "I don't know how you do it, Patsy. Taking care of others is hard work. And you're always so friendly, every time you visit.""Aw, it's the least I can do," Patsy told him. Though in just a moment, her smile faltered. "I mean, this volunteering stuff gets kind of hard. I like helping people a lot—it makes me feel useful in a way the Squirrel Scouts isn't—but to be honest, the only reason I stuck it out this long, is—" she blushed looking at him, speaking in the softest voice,"—so I could stay close to you."Lazlo's body rushed with an overwhelming sensation of warmth, and he hoped with all his might that it didn't show. "Oh," he said, turning away from her. "If I could be honest, too, Patsy… I think I knew that."Patsy sat down on the left side of bed, next to him. Despite the nurses and Candy Stripes notoriously smelling like bleach or antibacterial, the only thing she smelled of was her lip gloss. And the distraction made it harder to hear what she was saying. "Look, I know I'm not as, well, secretive as other girls when it comes to this. I'm kind of in your face—sometimes, literally," she said, twisting her pinky nail with her other hand. "And I know that can be kind of annoying..."Oh, gosh, here it comes... Lazlo thought. "Patsy, can I stop you right there?"She looked at him with surprise. "What is it?""So… this whole coming to visit me, and playing with me, thing…""Yes?" she asked, her eyes shimmering."I… I…" It was so hard to look her in those familiar blue eyes, and tell her. "I really think that—"BOOM! The door to the room slammed open. "Lazlo, they figured it out! They figured it out!" said his pink pachyderm friend."Raj?" asked Lazlo, taken aback by the dramatic entrance. "What's going on?""Your mother figured out what's wrong with you!" Raj said, hopping up and down with joy. "It's your IV!"Lazlo and Patsy both turned to Lazlo's left arm, which he held in the air in question. "What about it?""Your mom talked to your dad, and your dad talked to the hospital staff, and they looked at the records, and they discovered the medicine in the bags is wrong!"Lazlo was still miserably confused. "What?"At once, Lazlo's doctor appeared at the door. "Hehe, I think I can clear things up. You see, Lazlo, there's been a bit of a mix up. Your IV is supposed to have a painkiller in it for the surgery area. The one you've been getting for the past few days a sedative—something that makes you sleepy. It was such a small detail to overlook, but your mother's investigation saved the day.""I guess the apple doesn't fall far from the tree," Patsy said with an approving grin at the younger spidermonkey."That's why you've been feeling so lousy!" Raj said. "It's trying to put you to sleep!""You're kidding!" Lazlo said, looking at his arm. He couldn't believe it. The answer to his problem had been right there, the whole time. "T-that's why my stomach was still sore, too!""Exactly!" the doctor told him. "And your loss of appetite.""How did that happen?"Patsy growled. "Nurse Rathood…"The doctor cleared his throat in the effort to 'shush' her. "Believe it or not, mix ups like this happen from time to time. That said, Nurse Flannigan," he emphasized, " will be in in a few minutes to take that IV out. Thankfully there should be no lingering side effects to this. In fact, you should be all ready to go tomorrow.""You mean it?!" Lazlo said with joy."LAZLO COMES BACK!" cried Clam, rushing into the room with a set of pom-poms."WAHOO!" Lazlo launched from under the covers, standing on the mattress. "I'M GOING BACK TO CAMP!""Lazlo, be careful! You're still weak!" Patsy scolded him."Are you kidding? I haven't felt this good in weeks! I feel like I could climb the mountain all over again! I feel like I could ride an octopus, dance on the moon, shake hands with Washington, and—ohhhh, lightheaded—" he suddenly looked woozy. Patsy caught his arm and slowly helped him sit back down on the mattress. "O-kay, I'm not quite there yet." But he followed this up with another chuckle—something he hadn't done in a while."Maybe not, but just wait," Raj told Lazlo, pointing a playful finger in his direction. "Some fresh air and sunshine and you'll be back to your old self in no time!""No confession!" Clam shouted. Then, immediately realized what he'd done, and slammed his hands over his mouth."CLAM!" Raj shouted.Patsy raised a brow. "What confession?" She turned to Lazlo. "What's Clam talking about?"She turned to Lazlo, making him gulp. And to think I was in the clear… He sighed. No, the truth needs to come out. "Patsy, here's the thing. Every time you came in here, it stressed me out and I couldn't sleep. I do enjoy spending time with you. But I just need a little distance until I get back to my old self," he looked away. "I hope you understand."Patsy looked away, ashamed. "That's uh… actually what I wanted to talk to you about."Lazlo did a double take. "Wait, what?"The mongoose rubbed the back of her neck. "I sort of figured that out for myself. I mean, at first I didn't know! But… then I realized how the other patients were getting annoyed with the staff waking them up all the time, and I saw how exhausted you were looking, and I finally put two and two together. That's actually what I was going to tell you before I left today—I've already told Nurse Flannigan that I'm done with the Candy Striping after today. As much as I want to help others, there's not much they let me do as a sixth grader except talk to them and bring them food and towels," she shrugged. "And it's not worth it if I'm tempted to keep bothering you. I thought I was helping, but maybe I was just being selfish."On the end of the bed, Clam and Raj watched in awkward silence, until Raj reached over to his left and clamped both of his hands over his friend's eyes. "Blind! Can't see!" Clam yelled out."Hush," Raj said. "This is not for young rhinos to witness."Lazlo looked heartbroken. "Patsy, you don't have to go to crazy lengths like this to hang out with me. If you wanted to be my friend, you could've just asked."Patsy turned away shamefully. "I guess I was afraid it would sound so… kindergarten." She turned back to him with hopeful eyes. "You mean it?""If you're my friend, then I'm your friend," he told her, smiling. "That's how it works. And I know you're my friend because you listened to me, and you heard out my problem.""Oh!" Hearing this suddenly made Pasty snap her fingers. "And that reminds me:" She hurried out of the room and returned with a little shopping bag, handing it out before him. "I did get this for you."Lazlo took the bag and opened it, surprised by what he saw inside. "Ear plugs?""You know, so you can sleep, with all the sounds coming in and out of the room and down the hall," Patsy said, winking at him. "Maybe even use them when you meditate."Lazlo was floored. "Geez, Patsy," he said, marveling at her. It felt like he was suddenly seeing the mongoose with perfect clarity. "You really are a good friend." And makes me feel less nervous to tell you how I feel. Someday, anyway, if you still wanted me."Ahem," Raj cleared his throat, as if to remind the pair that he and Clam were still there. "I believe I uh, owe you an apology, Patsy. Thanks for taking care of our friend."Patsy smiled, her eyelashes fluttering. "Anything for the boy who takes such good care of all of us."Lazlo couldn't hold back his blush this time. It felt good to be loved, and have so many friends. "And hey," he broke in, trying to keep romance off of his mind, "if you still want to join us, I'm sure Raj and Clam wouldn't mind company during our sessions. Right, fellas?""A girl joining us for meditation?" Raj said, rubbing his chin. "Well… I guess I'll have to start wearing pants, but—""Co-ed learning!" Clam interjected positively. "Title Nine!"Lazlo sighed with relief. After a week with his head spinning with stripes, strawberries and starward scoutmasters, he was happy that something positive had come out of it. "Thanks, guys.""I'm glad everything is heading back to normal," Pasty remarked, nodding at Raj and Clam.Despite being somewhat doubtful of that statement, Raj no longer held the same distrust for the mongoose, and smiled back at her. "And we haven't told you the best part!" he exclaimed, bowing away from the doorway dramatically. "Clam and I have got a little surprise ourselves..."Lazlo's eyes widened. From around the blind corner of the hallway came a costumed scout, dressed in a skin tight, one piece olive green suit, with a crown of yellow wild flowers around his head. The shocking thing wasn't even the costume, but who was inside of it. "Edward?""Whoopee," a stoic-faced platypus uttered in a monotone, scurrying over to Lazlo on tippy toes. "I am a flower," he announced as he lazily flailed his arms in the air. "I am better than a bouquet. I am a dancing flower. I come to give to Lazlo." He bowed in front of Lazlo and pointed to his crown of sunflowers. "Take a pretty flower." And once Lazlo had reached out and retrieved one, Edward turned back to Raj and Clam. "Okay, I'm done here. Can I change out of this crap?"Patsy clasped her hands together and squealed. "Edward! You look so adorable!""Watch it, mongoose," Edward told her through gritted teeth. "I'm about two seconds away from setting these three dweebs' heads on fire," he said, pointing to the Jelly trio collectively, "and I'd hate to singe your curls."Though the threat didn't scare the boxing and martial arts trained Squirrel, it did make her raise a brow.So used to his empty threats, however, Lazlo just grinned at him. "This was really nice of you, Edward." he told him, twirling the sunflower in his hand."Yeah, awfully nice…" Patsy said, uncertainly. She tugged at her collar nervously and looked to Lazlo's friends for an explanation. "Psst. Clam!"The rhino quickly appeared at her side."Okay, what in the name of Bruce Lee did you do for Edward to make him do this?""Erg, not favor. Bribe.""Bribe? With what?"Fashion magazines. Under his bed. Threatened give to Slinkman.""Good grief!" Patsy said. "He's gonna murder you guys!""Not if wants them back," Clam smirked, holding a piece of a ripped magazine with part of a dress on it."I think this calls for a celebration!" Raj proclaimed, producing two pints of ice cream from behind his back. "Strawberry, anyone?"Lazlo pointed with a grin. "Oh, Patsy, your favorite!"Patsy took a spoon with a delighted smile. "Cool! I didn't think they'd have any—" she cut herself off, looking at the monkey questioningly. "Wait, how did you know that?"Hehehe… uh, lucky guess?" And Lazlo quickly stuck a spoonful of ice cream in his mouth, so that he was no longer obligated to speak."Party!" Clam shouted, passing between them and throwing a cup of makeshift confetti—made from paper shreds—in the air. "Hospital party! Ice cream! Confetti! Music!"Thankfully for Lazlo, this distracted Patsy by jogging her memory. "Oh, right! I remembered to pack my new favorite CD!" Pasty cried out, brandishing a CD player from the pocket of her apron. "Just in case old Mr. Jensen wanted to get up and work out that hip."Raj gave the ice cream to Clam to distribute, and looked at the CD inside the case with large eyes. "Oooo, 'Rock Your Body!' Patsy, I love this song!""Yeah, and Justin's pretty hunky too," Patsy sighed, pressing a hand to her heart.Raj turned the player on full blast, and the room was filled with airy club music. Patsy hopped onto the bed and helped Lazlo to his feet, helping him sway his arms back and forth until he had a sturdy balance, then danced right alongside him on the mattress. On the floor, Raj and Clam swung each other around in circles until they both became dizzy and fell down on their bottoms. They then laughed, staggered to their feet, and started again.Meanwhile, Edward stood off to the side by the window, robotically pumping arms to the sound of the music, all while wearing a scowl. "Just a matter of time now, Edward," he told himself, staring out at the wilderness below. "That crate of dynamite should be on its way… any second..."The End...
Cosplay, Merchandise, and Crafts
Ickis from Aah real monsters. by JcBlooD

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This group is dedicated to the cartoon classics, some childhood favorites from when they were invent to 2008 when most of them were no longer aired. This group is meant to bring back that love and fond memories, and sharing some art you may have not known was out there of your cherished cartoons

We include comic cartoons, movies, shows from Cartoon Network, Nickelodeon, the Disney channel, Kids WB, and others

A list of cartoons we allow - sta.sh/05kljggk74c



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:bulletblack: Check the date of when the cartoon was released. If it came out in 2008 or before, or part of it did, it is accepted here
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With all the chaos happening on DeviantART right now, I would like to make an announcement. For those of you who are staying and need some reassurance, this group will still be here and function as it always has, even with Eclipse. All of the groups run by me will remain open for anyone who are staying and would still like to be a community with us

*This is not meant as an insult to the protesters or the deviants who are leaving, that is your choice and I respect your cause. I want Da to stay the old site too, but I don't want to cause anymore tension. These are hard times


I know this group hasn't been open long and has been fairly quiet, but know that we are still here, and I hope you are still enjoying the group. :heart:
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:iconthepurpleshogun:
ThePurpleShogun Featured By Owner Feb 23, 2021  Hobbyist General Artist
Hello. I joined the group but I am unable to contribute artwork. What's happening? 
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:iconshadow-of-otogakure:
Shadow-of-Otogakure Featured By Owner Feb 23, 2021  Hobbyist General Artist
I wasn't online. I just accepted the request to join the group. It will work now
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:iconthepurpleshogun:
ThePurpleShogun Featured By Owner Feb 24, 2021  Hobbyist General Artist
Okay! :) thank you! I thought I did something wrong. It works now! Thank you again!
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:iconaustinsptd1996:
AustinSPTD1996 Featured By Owner Jun 11, 2020
Okay, I’ve chosen to submit my latest art piece to your group upon your guys’ request (I’m hoping I didn’t over-submit by mistake). Thank you for choosing to include it. :) But do know this: my drawing technically revolves around a 2006 Nicktoons crossover video game; it’s the Nicktoon characters who are drawn in their programs’ art styles (or attempted at least).
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:iconshadow-of-otogakure:
Shadow-of-Otogakure Featured By Owner Jul 14, 2020  Hobbyist General Artist
Sorry for the delay. I didn't realize the group notifications were fixed

That's alright :D I recognized both sides of the crossover. As long as it's before 2008
Thank you for accepting the request :heart:
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