Christopia1984

[Scene opens with Lincoln Loud standing in the living room, facing the camera directly. He looks serious, arms crossed.] Lincoln: (straight to camera) Hey everyone, it’s me, Lincoln Loud. I know a lot of you out there are fans of the show, and… look, I gotta be real with you for a second. Most of the fan stuff out there is awesome. But there’s this one thing that keeps popping up that’s just… gross. A lot of fans want me to get into these weird incest relationships with my sisters. They even have a name for it now — “LoudCest.” [Lincoln makes a disgusted face.] Lincoln: That’s not happening. Ever. This is The Loud House, not the Game of Thrones house. We’re a normal, chaotic, loving family — not whatever that is. [He pulls out a sheet of paper with the words “INCEST” and “NSFW” written in big bold letters. His expression turns narrow and dead serious. He holds it up to the camera for a beat, then dramatically throws it off-screen.] Lincoln: We would never do anything like that. This is

Lincoln Loud had been having what should have been a pretty awesome day. The Royal Woods Mall was packed, buzzing with chatter, sneaker squeaks, and the smell of pretzels, popcorn, and pizza from the food court. For Lincoln, though, there was only one thing that mattered. He stood just outside the comic book store, grinning from ear to ear, a shopping bag in one hand and a fresh booster pack of Ace Savvy Trading Card Game: Galactic Justice Expansion in the other. Lincoln turned to us with a big smile. “Yep, today was supposed to be a good day at the mall,” he said. “The Comic Book Star just got the latest Ace Savvy trading card games, and let me tell you, these babies are harder to find than a clean bathroom when all ten of my sisters are home.” He held up the pack reverently. “Limited edition holo-foil cards. New villain class. Alternate Captain Stronghold art. This is the kind of day nerd dreams are made of.” He started walking through the mall concourse, passing