If We're Honest
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If anyone has lost a loved one, I understand how you feel.  My paternal grandfather died a year before today.  I see text messages about happy memories go back and forth between my family members, but I don't want to be reminded of my pappap's passing.  I don't want to feel any emotional pain.  I also have college midterms, so I only have so much time, and I feel like I don't have enough time to deal with the emotional pain.

Often, I try to hide my grief by acting sarcastic, moody, and sometimes snarky.  However, I feel that art can be an healthy outlet to express my true feelings.  I have a drawing that I'm currently working on.  I go to a private place, usually my room.  I'll cry for a bit, and while I'm doing that, I work on a small part of my drawing.  I can only work on this drawing when I'm very sad, so it's a very slow process.  I'll be sure to post the drawing when I'm done (whenever that is).

I also try to forget about my grief.  After my pappap died a year ago, I wanted to forget about the pain that I felt.  To do this, I turned to technology.  I would immerse myself in the Internet or in a video game.  But I got a little too comfortable with this practice, and technology became an addiction for me.  Several weeks ago, I asked God to take this addiction from me, and He did.  But I need to limit my use of technology, because the addiction can come back at a moment's notice.  (I fear that it may have come back.)

Most of us have lost a loved one, and it's okay to be honest with yourself about how you feel.

I'm tired, and I need to go to bed soon.  I could write more, but my brain's currently stuck.  I hope that this post helps anyone who needs it.  God bless!
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