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ChrisTheS's avatar

Star Mares 1.3.3: Not Going Back in the Bottle

I think it should be obvious by this point that Cookiecutter is not nice.  Nor is she quite as clever or in charge of the situation as she thinks she is.  (Although I have to admit, the real reason for that panel was to have an excuse to remove Spring Clean's hat).

Most ponies are far too proper to refer to Celestia's nickname even when taking her name in vain, but Spring Clean has no filters.  While most of her wall-o-text is just a stream of random outrage, the one thing that's important to take away from it is that Halteraan was the (second) new homeworld of the crystal ponies.  This will be on the test.

Maple Leaf is a little more proactive in this issue.  She may superficially resemble Fluttershy, but whereas Fluttershy's personality basically has two mutually exclusive modes that get switched on and off as the plot demands, I've tried to keep Maple's essential nervousness present even when she's being brave and taking the initiative.  Her personality is more based on Sir Tumbleweed in that regard (he's a knight who's scared of practically everything, but he's still a knight and at least tries to act like one).

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ZanarNaryon's avatar
I love this. The movies never really showed what impact the genocide of multiple billion people had on the soldiers on the Death Star. Legends revealed that the man who pushed the button betrayed the empire, and practically committed suicide out of guilt, but, y'know, Disney *very sarcastically hums the Disney theme*. Here, the entire crew is practically in tears

But, for a bit of humor: "Citizens A through Z were killed, but I repopulated with refugees, and filed a strongly worded complaint with the responsible"
"Exellent. Strongly worded in this case means...?"
"I sent'em a dead porg"
Centaur71's avatar
Oh, NOW she grows a tailbone???
I do love to ask a rhetorical question specifically to have it answered. There's a delicate art to the timing, you know? Too soon and the question is forgotten before the answer comes; too late and everybody knows the question wasn't needed at all.

And by the way, Spring, my experience has always been that, naming aside, Sunbutt's arse is actually no shinier than yours.
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momowo's avatar
and one more for the road.
 *please don't hate me*
momowo's avatar
obsessively over-commenting is a thing now. believe it.
momowo's avatar
also, when will the "test" be? or will it be a surprise? or a "non-existant" test?
ChrisTheS's avatar
The time and date of the test is not going to be on the test.  Therefore you do not need to know it.

And all of a sudden I wish this comic was set in Alpha Complex instead of GFFA...
momowo's avatar
in that case, will there be a review?
also, what is Alpha Complex and GFFA? I'm confused now
ChrisTheS's avatar
Alpha Complex is the setting of the gallows-humor RPG 'Paranoia,' and GFFA is 'a galaxy far far away'.
momowo's avatar
ok thanks. now I know something.
momowo's avatar
do I detect a hint of word censoring?
Isenlyn's avatar
Some day I would like to know what Spring clean say. It seems full of information and very interesting. But the way you obviously don't put those text at the background on purpose hide most of the important information.
For example, what's that thing about crystal ponies or Sunbutt's shiny ar... ? (I need the end of this sentence. XD)

Also, go tell her she's a meanie Marple. I believe in you.
ChrisTheS's avatar
It's pretty much filler text: I didn't even write it into the script, I just made it up as I needed to fill in space.  But, if you're interested...

"I can’t believe she really did that!  I mean, she told her what she wanted to know, didn’t she?  That’s just mean!  How could the Empress allow someone like that to be in charge
of this place?  I have half a mind to write in and complain! And what about those poor crystal ponies?  They're homeless again!"

"Maybe a strongly worded letter wouldna be enough.  Those were crystal ponies!  And that’s the Smooze!  It eats gems!  Can ye even imagine? Sunbutt’s shiny arse!"

"I most certainly won’t calm down!  I’ve got to get all these words out or I’ll burst!  It’s not as if anypony is going to understand half of what I’m saying anyway because of me accent and because I’m chattering at a million miles an hour!"
momowo's avatar
I thought you said you weren't going to reveal any of her dialogue...?
I guess I heard wrong?
ChrisTheS's avatar
I reserve the right to apply my rules inconsistently and to change my mind at any time :)
momowo's avatar
well, carry on then.
Isenlyn's avatar
XD, with Spring clean, the weeping ponies and Marple ready to spit her bill. It seems that there is a revolution in march.
Wait, is the empress in fact quite nice ? I knew there were interesting information here. ;) Don't change Spring, you're so funny.

As for "arse", well, I didn't knew that word. Sweating a little... 
ChrisTheS's avatar
Well, she's a racist tyrant who gave command of a planet-smoozing battle station to a corrupted immortal cyborg and whose chief enforcer wears menacing black armor and blows up consular ships.  You do the math ;)
Dante-Wynter's avatar
She's actually going to speak up? And Halteraan is a crystal pony planet? Then why aren't - well, I guess you'll answer that in the future.
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