Hey everyone, here's the latest update...
Since last Sunday, I am single all over again. The man whom I fell in love with broke my heart last Sunday, by messaging me this: "Have a good life. Blessings". I told him if this breakup was meant to be, if anything like this would happen, I wanted to do this in person. He totally blew me off and started insulting me, disrespecting me, making me feel like I'm the villain, that I need to grow up when clearly -he- was the one who has ALOT of growing up to do. Sad to see someone whom I called my Prince to become a villain from the worst nightmare that my subconscious would dare construct. His good side vanished, it's gone, fallen down a well somewhere and he can't get out.
Honestly, I should've called out on the red flags I had seen in the past 3 months- he started getting real squeamish about the marriage talk, the way he hugged me was certainly different, no cuddling with me at all, he didn't want to kiss me on the lips or cheek for more than a few seconds, his walk with God was certainly not steady at all, and he started hiding stuff from me. Turns out, from what my bro and cousin told me, he actually attempted to start a flirtatious conversation with a couple of girls- one of them being a complete stranger. I have never felt so betrayed. What Andrew did was almost just as bad as what my high school ex did to me.
How can someone go from a loyal, kind, trustworthy person to a shady, arrogant, prideful, and backstabbing boy? He's not a man. He's a boy with a fear of commitment and made up the lamest excuse to leave me- saying that I had a chance to talk to him the past week, saying that I had to apologize for disrespecting his parents when I had done no such thing. He was the one that needed to apologize for disrespecting me in a 2 page long text. I had to ignore him because he refused to apologize for all the wrong things he said.
I will still respect him as a human being in public, but if he tries to do something to me while I'm alone- beg for me to give him a chance, say something evil or snarky- I will NOT be silent.
I'm not done with love completely, but I am not hooking up with anyone right away. My heart needs time to heal. As I did with this learning experience at rockabilly night 2 years ago, I will continue to let God decide when is the best time for me to date. God orchestrates these events to happen for a reason- we did fall in love, we were meant to meet that night, I felt we were right for each other. But how he's been acting proved otherwise. And it's so sad that he didn't own up to my face. He cowered behind a screen like a 13-yr-old kid.
In other news, I want to get back into writing poetry again. Sorry for the inactivity on here lately. I've been depressed.
But I'm working on being more active with my family, girl friends who want to hang out with me and help me get over him, and getting more involved with the ministries at church. In fact, there was a church picnic. My depression wanted to stay at home and sulk, but my spiritual self wanted to go to the picnic and have fun. So I did. Glad to say that I did because I got to have fun, eat good food, play games, and prayed with one of the pastor's wives about my heartbreak and for God to open doors for me to be more active at my home church.
What's up with y'all? Comment down below about how work/school/family/loved ones/friends are in your life
I miss being active here on dA. I pray I can change that. Love you guys