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All is vanity by chibipandora All is vanity by chibipandora
>___>;;;;; loooooong description. Its mostly there to help sort out my thoughts, so feel free not to bother.

~*~

I've been practicing lucid dreaming more and more lately.

I was having a nightmare a few nights ago and I finally looked at my wrist and realized I wasn't wearing the bracelet I always ware to remind myself to ask if I'm dreaming or not.

First thing I did was get rid of everyone else in the room. The next thing was, once I could focus a little more, that I made myself as beautiful as possible. Long hair, gems and sparkles and lace. I wore a dress so white glowed like the moon and shinned even in the dark room I was in. *Points up* This is a sad, sad attempt at how beautiful I was and my dress was. There is no humanly possible way to draw how beautiful I was. I glowed, I floated. I drew that pencil, but added the colored tint and eyes with the computer.
Everyone wants to be beautiful, right? I've never been pretty in real life and in my dreams I'm so-so, why not let myself have some vanity in my dreams? But even when I was the most beautiful woman I could ever be, I was still in the nightmare. Changing my appearance didn't make any difference to the rest of my dream world.

In loneliness and fear I called out for my purple haired prince and he came, however, against the beauty of everything I had created he wore a simple black coat that fell to his ankles revealing hard black boots. Same hair and face as always. An obvious contrast to everything I had made myself and yet I felt like he was most beautiful thing in the room. He looked at me and seemed disgusted (at the time I assumed this was because I had called for him the way I did), turned away, and began studying himself in the mirror. I walked over and realized that he had no reflection.

It goes on, but that's the important part I think.

^_^;;; Unfortunately, the moral of this dream hasn't sunk in yet. I still want to be beautiful. I still want to wear beautiful clothing. I don't believe that real life is like my dream world. In real life, people come to you when your beautiful. People wish to be with beautiful people. In real life, he would have come to me without having me to call him. In real life, he would have be impressed and admire me... at least, not looked so annoyed and disgusted by my appearance.
I know better I guess. I mean, it is my- dream which makes it my- moral, right? Unless none of these are really my dreams to begin with and I am starting to wonder.

*Sigh* Yeah. Anyway.

~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

So you can skip the above:

*Points up* This is a sad, sad attempt at how beautiful I was and my dress was. There is no humanly possible way to draw how beautiful I was. I glowed, I floated. I drew that pencil, but added the colored tint and eyes with the computer.
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:iconda-blue-monk:
Da-Blue-Monk Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2005
Soooooooooooooooo pretty! :XD:
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:iconcarma-n:
carma-n Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2005
verry verry nice i love old style dresses
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:iconaqullion:
aqullion Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2005
Allmost as a dream, yet a wandring soul in a endless dance and a moan of a jellous past... lovely image its design is stunning
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:iconchibipandora:
chibipandora Featured By Owner Jan 6, 2005
:giggle: Perhaps I should have you write my descriptions for me?
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:iconaqullion:
aqullion Featured By Owner Jan 9, 2005
Anytime hun.. just drop a note ^^
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:icongreyskyblues:
greyskyblues Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2005
This was a pretty picture at first glance, and even better somehow after reading the story behind it. Thanks for sharing your story! I try to imagine how beautiful the dream must have been.
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:iconchibipandora:
chibipandora Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2005
I'm glad to hear you read it. I know that everyone's idea of what is most beatiful is diffrent ^_^ I can only imagin what your idea of it is!

Thank you very much for the comment.
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:icongreyskyblues:
greyskyblues Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2005
You're welcome. ^^
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:iconshenmue:
Shenmue Featured By Owner Dec 31, 2004
Very nice! I love the clothes and the hair. ^^
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:iconinsane-demonic-zero:
Insane-Demonic-Zero Featured By Owner Dec 29, 2004
Well I think you did beautifully on this. I think the moral you need to know is, you don't need to be beautiful for people to love you.... least I think thats what your muse and your dream was trying to tell you. .: shrugs. :. But anyways, you have alot more power when it comes to dreams then me. When I get into a nightmare, I can't do anything. Anyways...

Good work, the dress is purdy.
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:iconchibipandora:
chibipandora Featured By Owner Dec 29, 2004
That would make a great moral, but knowing him and knowing me it may have just been him in a bad mood or something ^_-
I've been studing dreams for a while, but I scare easy and worry easy so I'm prone to nightmares ^^; You know?

I'm glad you like it though and that you can see the moral.
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:iconrevolverecho:
RevolverEcho Featured By Owner Dec 29, 2004  Hobbyist Artist
very pretty but she definitely looks like something is bothering her :-(


*gives her a froggie so she can feel better* :frog:
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:iconchibipandora:
chibipandora Featured By Owner Dec 29, 2004
That's what I should have thought of, a cute froggie. I'll remember that for next time.
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:icondemosthenes-tseh:
Demosthenes-Tseh Featured By Owner Dec 29, 2004
I remember reading about 'lucid dreaming' ages ago. I wondered if it was even really feasible, but I suppose you prove that it is. If you can remember it, I'm sure it's a wonderful experience...unless, of course, you happen to be having a nightmare at the time.

As for the picture -- no, it is probably not nearly as beautiful as that which can only exist in the abstract, but it is pretty nonetheless. Good work.
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:iconchibipandora:
chibipandora Featured By Owner Dec 29, 2004
Oh. It's very feasible, it just takes practice. I had a lot of nightmares when I was very little and since nothing else was working my parents started trying lucid dreaming techniques, which is one reason why I can remember so many of my dreams now.

I am glad you like the picture.
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:iconsafir-kreuz:
Safir-Kreuz Featured By Owner Dec 29, 2004
That's very pretty. Nice work! :D
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:iconchibipandora:
chibipandora Featured By Owner Dec 29, 2004
Thank you!
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:iconsafir-kreuz:
Safir-Kreuz Featured By Owner Dec 29, 2004
You're welcome.
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:iconsquidlarkin:
squidlarkin Featured By Owner Dec 29, 2004  Hobbyist Digital Artist
i think that this turned out very well. i know some days i feel like i want to draw the most beautiful person ever, and when i'm done, what i end up with looks boring and plain. sometimes i think that an artist can never really draw an emotion or experience and make it look anything like they felt. but to me this pic is one of few pics i've seen that turned out very beautiful, and i think you should be more proud of it :D
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:iconchibipandora:
chibipandora Featured By Owner Dec 29, 2004
I am sort of proud of it. ^_^; It's been a long time I've done anything in pencil, I just wish it had looked.. closer to my dream.
But I do think you are right, although, I think sometimes we can capture emotions enough, but mostly for ourselves. ^_^; I've draw pictures that look horrible, but I was trying to capture a memory and when I look at it, I can remember what it was I was thinking about almost perfectly. >_>;; Dispite the picture it's self.
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:iconoodark-angeloo:
oOdark-angelOo Featured By Owner Dec 29, 2004   Traditional Artist
it looks good...like the hair and dress :)
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:iconchibipandora:
chibipandora Featured By Owner Dec 29, 2004
:frog: Thank you!
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