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About Digital Art / Artist Alicia Fundis28/Female/United States Recent Activity
Deviant for 3 Years
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Statistics 219 Deviations 1,656 Comments 6,517 Pageviews
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Newest Deviations

Against Myself by ChibiAbsol Against Myself :iconchibiabsol:ChibiAbsol 9 15 Rage by ChibiAbsol Rage :iconchibiabsol:ChibiAbsol 13 7
Literature
Thoughts..
If a star dies in a galaxy does anyone notice?
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:iconchibiabsol:ChibiAbsol 2 8
Absol Avatar by ChibiAbsol Absol Avatar :iconchibiabsol:ChibiAbsol 15 13 Failure by ChibiAbsol Failure :iconchibiabsol:ChibiAbsol 7 2 Hidden World by ChibiAbsol Hidden World :iconchibiabsol:ChibiAbsol 24 4 White versions Botamon and Beta Hoppip by ChibiAbsol White versions Botamon and Beta Hoppip :iconchibiabsol:ChibiAbsol 11 0 Botamon and Beta Hoppip by ChibiAbsol Botamon and Beta Hoppip :iconchibiabsol:ChibiAbsol 42 10
Mature content
Convo entry 11 with Agony :iconchibiabsol:ChibiAbsol 1 4
Mature content
Convo entry 10 with Agony :iconchibiabsol:ChibiAbsol 2 4
Happy Birthday! by ChibiAbsol Happy Birthday! :iconchibiabsol:ChibiAbsol 13 6
Literature
Convo entry 9 with Agony
Me: Hey Ag. I know we were going to talk about “him” this week but I just haven’t had the time to go through everything. So instead, lets talk about more positive things!
Agony: Fair enough.
Me: I’m really glad we finally have the time to draw now that I have been transferred to a closer Circle K. The place is super busy but you’re constantly on your toes so the time seems to go faster. I really do think the old place, outside of being too far away it was a pretty toxic environment.
Agony: Feeling bogged down and exhausted the moment you walk in the door didn’t make that apparent?
Me: It’s not that I didn’t know, its that I had to way to escape it until now. But things are different now!
Agony: On the subject of jobs, would you like to share about your little “going above and beyond the call of duty” story?
Me: Oh.. that Weeeell
*chuckles while rubbing her head in embarrassment*
Ok ok. I was tossing out boxes fro
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:iconchibiabsol:ChibiAbsol 0 4
Impmon and Tsukaimon by ChibiAbsol Impmon and Tsukaimon :iconchibiabsol:ChibiAbsol 28 0 Free me from these chains by ChibiAbsol Free me from these chains :iconchibiabsol:ChibiAbsol 12 10
Literature
Conversation with Agony 8
Me: So we had our first therapy session yesterday.
Agony: It was a rehash of the last one. Since we got a different person than last time.. personally I think we just wasted $5 because he didn't give us any advice at all. We just scratched the surface of everything that's happened to us.
Me: We need to give it time.. the next visit should be more beneficial. Why don't we talk about all the stuff that happened to us in school so that we know what to tell him and we aren't jumbling over our words about it.
Agony: You wanna open up old wounds?
Me: They never healed to begin with... If we talk about it, he can probably help us. I've been so tight lipped about everything thats happened that no one knew I was bullied... we need to tackle this head on. Next week we'll work on everything that "he" did to us.
Agony:... This is gonna be a painful discussion... but alright.
Me: *sigh*... yeah.
Do you remember Woody? My Toystory doll?
Agony: Well yeah, he's still in storage. Beaten to shit but you
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:iconchibiabsol:ChibiAbsol 3 8
Literature
Convo entry 7 with Agony
Me: So we finally got around to talking to a therapist! She seemed nice but honestly  being in that waiting room... I was sweating bullets.. I don't exactly like meeting new people and I could barely make eye contact with her at all. Heh... She was asking if I was ok because of how much I was fidgeting.
Agony: You know she doesn't really care, right? She's PAID to care.
Me: I'm at a point where I need a helping hand in life so I don't just lose it and potentially hurt myself like I almost did the last time. Paid or not, at least she has to follow my wishes in not taking anti-depressants.
Agony: ... fuck pills...
Me: Yeah. That's something we both can agree on. Paxil was horrible... I never want to relive that.
Agony: So what is this gonna be a thing that you go to the place wasting about 2 to 3 hours of your time mostly in travel just so you can talk to someone that'll tell you stuff you already know AND you have to spend $5 that you could put towards food instead?!
Me: I know it
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Favourites

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02:57
Draw with Me :Video: :iconmikeinel:Mikeinel 58,058 11,237

Groups

It feels surreal that I can say that. Today feels outright bazaar to me because of what I almost did. Had some of you not talked me out of harming myself, I would have been dead at 2AM tomorrow at the park. I would have hid on the plaform to the slide in the playground.. my last meal would have been Downtown House of pizza. A meat pizza maybe with green peppers and black olives.... I would've downed 200 pills of benadryl with Mike's Hard Strawberry and knock off coke...

I shouldn't be thinking about this... reliving what would have happened...

...but I'm alive.. still. So I wanted to say thank you. Thank you for talking me out of it despite how stubborn I was. I convinced myself I couldn't be saved but you somehow did.

Pride

I AM PROUD

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ChibiAbsol
Alicia Fundis
Artist | Digital Art
United States
If you didn't know me before, you won't know me anymore...
Interests

Comments


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:iconalexanderschlicht:
AlexanderSchlicht Featured By Owner Jul 19, 2018  Hobbyist Digital Artist
LISTEN. YOU WILL NOT KILL YOURSELF, YOU HEAR ME??? YOU NEED HELP. YOU NEED SERIOUS HELP. FUCK YOUR DEPRESSION, I'LL TRY TO HELP YOU GET OUT OF IT!!!
Reply
:iconchibiabsol:
ChibiAbsol Featured By Owner Jul 20, 2018   Digital Artist
I need help but have no real way to deal with my problems, nor be able to erase the emotional and mental scars I have. Hell, even some of the physical scars left from my ex.

I'm not worth saving at this point..
Reply
:iconalexanderschlicht:
AlexanderSchlicht Featured By Owner Jul 20, 2018  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Fine... just wait a month before you kill yourself, let the world know you're killing yourself, and worry them. Worry them all. I'm sure that's a gooooood idea (I'm being sarcastic)
Reply
:icontriforcegamer2601:
TriForceGamer2601 Featured By Owner Jul 20, 2018  Student Digital Artist
Dude, don't be so rude. She's having a really hard time and doesn't need you coming in and making her feel worse. If you don't have anything helpful to say, don't say anything at all.
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(1 Reply)
:iconlatextf16:
LatexTf16 Featured By Owner Jul 6, 2018  Hobbyist General Artist
you're welcome
Reply
:icon873hell:
873hell Featured By Owner Jun 23, 2018
happy birthday
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:iconchibiabsol:
ChibiAbsol Featured By Owner Jun 24, 2018   Digital Artist
Thanks!
Reply
:icon873hell:
873hell Featured By Owner Jun 25, 2018
your welcome
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:iconflame-bloom:
Flame-Bloom Featured By Owner Jun 23, 2018  Hobbyist
HAPPPY BITHDAY!!! Birthday cake  icon 
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