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I'm My Own Worst Critic

Sat May 26, 2012, 2:47 AM
  • Listening to: "Life's a Happy Song" from the Muppets m
  • Reading: Catching Fire & Pandora Hearts
  • Watching: Doctor Who, Sherlock, and Princess Tutu
  • Playing: Persona 3 (ok, more like Watching Persona 4!)
  • Eating: nothin :P
  • Drinking: nuthing :P
ok, heads up. I'm ranting and rambling a little in this journal. I don't mean to treat this like some kind  of diary (drives me crazy when people do that....sorry :P) but this was just on my mind and I haven't updated my journal in a while.

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Are you like me, you keep on setting the standards for your art work higher and higher till it drives you insane? I both hate it and love it!
Because I only started seriously drawing 2 years ago, I've been constantly trying to keep improving. I can't stand it when I plateau. If I ever feel like I've plateaued, I start feeling like a sucky artist. Thankfully I"ve accepted the fact that just because I'm not by any means popular on DA doesn't mean my art sucks. But I find myself getting harsher and harsher on myself. I'm able to laugh appreciatively at my old old work such as these:

Morio loves Pandas by Checker-Bee The Deathly Hallows by Checker-Bee and Ponyo Loves Sasuke by Checker-Bee (awwww!! so cute!....they're all facing left I just realized! :P)

but I look back at work I did just a few months or even a few weeks ago and cringe, nit-picking and wondering why i was dumb enough to post it. It makes me question myself on every picture I submit, wondering if I'm just going to hate it later. I truly am my own worst critic!

And now, with Fluffy-Zombie-Bunnies making their debut at Aki-con this fall, I've been workin like crazy to make enough work to sell.  This has added a whole new level. Lately especially, I've been having these fears of nobody liking my work.  (NOTE: I am by no means fishing for compliments!! I do have some self-esteem and dignity! ha ha!) I'm the kind of person who's dreams are sometimes a direct reflection of realistic fears, so I've had 2 dreams already where I was at the convention and nobody came to our table! sad face :(  Idk, maybe its just nerves, but I'm such a stresser its ridiculous. I've even started going back and furiously editing work I already proclaimed to be done....yeah they look a whole lot better, but still! I just have a lot of fears of things that could go wrong. Mind you, I tend to make mountains out of mole hills in most situations, but I can't help it. I keep asking myself "Am I drawing the right characters?" "Am I drawing too many chibis and not enough prints?" "Am I taking on too much?" "Will I make enough in time?"  ....

*sigh* Ok, I feel better now. :)

does anyone else have these problems? I may be nervous about the con and impatient with myself, but all I can do is just keep drawing and hope for the best right? I can't help it, drawing is a serious addiction for me....should I start wearing a patch or go to AA (Artists Anonymous) Meetings? lol!


ok! Le Rant is Le Done! Have a wonderful night!!! :D

:heart: Laix

Skin by Winyumi (modified by Checker-Bee)
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:iconmelody-of-logic:
Melody-Of-Logic Featured By Owner May 26, 2012  Student General Artist
As a general tip, don't be totally bummed if you don't sell a ton at the convention, either! If you can break even, that's already pretty good. Selling art is really difficult, so just because you're not selling like, 100 copies of anything doesn't mean you are a failure. You might want to also try having some deals: if your keychains are $3, consider selling two for $5 or something similar.

You'll do just fine, I'm sure of it!
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:iconchecker-bee:
Checker-Bee Featured By Owner May 26, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
yeah, I'm trying not to get my hopes up too high, but with me, anything will make me happy! so even if I just sell one thing, I'll be all giddy!

oh! btw! I need to give you your Cooro costume back! when can we do that? :) Thanks again for letting me borrow it!
Reply
:iconmelody-of-logic:
Melody-Of-Logic Featured By Owner May 26, 2012  Student General Artist
Might as well wait until Aki-con, unless you're planning to go to Penny Arcade Expo? O:
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:iconchecker-bee:
Checker-Bee Featured By Owner May 27, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
sure :) I'll bring it to Aki then :)

any idea who you're gonna cosplay as?
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:iconmelody-of-logic:
Melody-Of-Logic Featured By Owner May 30, 2012  Student General Artist
Alright!

It depends on a few things. If I'm in the dance contest, it'll be the same one from last year. If I can finish my Hatoful costume, I'll be this dude... bird... guy. Aaaaand failing those, I always have my Tegami Bachi outfit ='D
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:iconchecker-bee:
Checker-Bee Featured By Owner May 31, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
i'll be there all weekend, so anytime :)
ooh! he's cool looking! :D
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:iconmelody-of-logic:
Melody-Of-Logic Featured By Owner May 31, 2012  Student General Artist
Cosplaying him also gives me an excuse to carry around a large book, since he's the obligatory Quiet Library Guy |D
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:iconchecker-bee:
Checker-Bee Featured By Owner May 31, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
ha ha! Nice! Can't wait 2 see it! :D i can't wait for this con!!! I have so much to do for it tho! :O
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(1 Reply)
:iconakirasartworld:
AkirasArtWorld Featured By Owner May 26, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
...You're being more criticizical (NOT a word I know XD) because you're drawing something for the con; I went through it too. First you think you want to make money, so your art must be good. So you start criticizing yourself for every single thing you draw. And you worry that it's not good enough. Note: There's that feeling because you're trying to make profit off of what you like; that's why you want to make it as good as possible, so people would buy it. But don't let that get to you; you know you draw, and you have to remember: you draw because you WANT to; because you LIKE drawing. Don't let profit get in the way of your love for drawing; don't be a crazy critic who just has to make everything right to make $$.
You're going to see people that like your art. You're going to see people who just look at your thing and not buy it. You are going to see people that will buy it. But really, regardless of what others think (I mean, making a profit is important too, but more importantly), draw for yourself. Draw what you want (<- okay this, not so much that you'll make zero profit. That's the mistake I made, so drawing all those popular thing is a good thing), and also, have fun with it. Don't let the whole "no one's going to buy anything" thing. People will, and if it's popular (like hetalia), people will buy them (assuming we're the only ones selling it or two they're really good compared to the other people's keychains). And also, don't expect to make money in your first con; that's what my friend told me. Take this as a learning experience, and most importantly, have fun with it! Then you'll know the atmosphere of the con, find out what's popular/what's not, and you'll learn from it, and maybe you can use it for your next boothing experience! So don't let yourself/ your critiqueness get to you! Never EVER forget, you're drawing because that's what you like to do :heart:

...Sorry for the long post :XD:
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:iconchecker-bee:
Checker-Bee Featured By Owner May 26, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
it's totally cool! i love long posts!

yeah, profit is part of it, but a lot of it is self-esteem. here's an example of how I'm feeling: I see my drawing like singing. when I sing in the shower. When I sing in the shower, its just for me. someone might be able to her me, but mostly I'm just singing cuz I want to and its just for fun. But, if I were to get up on a stage and sing, it'd be a whole different story. If nobody came to the show or nobody applauded when I was done, I'd feel like a horrible singer. That's how I feel with the con. I'm thrilled to have a chance to be on a stage, but I'm nervous about messing up at the same time. So many more people are going to be seeing my art directly. It's ok if they don't buy it, I totally get that cuz I've passed peoples' tables too. But its just putting my work out there that is kinda worrisome. My work is such a big part of me and now I'm putting it out there for everyone to see. I know I do that on DA, but I'm hidden by the anonymity of the internet and I don't really get a lot of attention anyway. But now, I'll see the faces of people looking at my work and they'll see mine. This is real life, not the internet. ...yeah, rambling again! :P but its nice to talk about this since it's been weighing on my mind lately.

Yay long posts! :D
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:iconakirasartworld:
AkirasArtWorld Featured By Owner Jun 2, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Don't respond nor read it if you don't want to as of now. But I want to respond to this post anyways, because I want to help. (in my usual tone btw)
---
Oh okay, I see what you mean. I felt the same way too, at SC. And know what? I was crushed. My art SUCKED compared to other AAs. I cried. At my booth. When everyone was passing. It sucked. No one came to comfort me (someone did later, which meant a lot to me). I had to hide my tears from everyone. It kind of did stink. But at the same time, there were people that liked my style over others. (commissions are proof of that btw XD So feel good when you get commissioned over all the other AAs!) People told me my style was cute, people bought stuff from me, and that made me realize "Hey, I am not as good as everyone else. But there are people that like my art :D" It's really hard not to be afraid of being crushed, but really, it's a lesson. My friend told me to not have my hopes up; take it as a learning experience. And I'm glad I followed, because if I went there thinking "My art is gonna sell!" I would've been even more crushed.

And it's totally understanable that you're nervous, because it's face-to-face. But that's also the fun part! :D Because you get to see the artist's face! But it's a good feeling too, to show your art and say "This is what I draw! :la:"

IDK, I never doubted my art skills, because I'm just drawing for fun. And the audiences? I don't worry about them XD Because some people will like it, some people won't, and that's just how things are.

So, bottomline is, don't worry about it. Just draw, and have fun at the con! It's a learning experience more than anything! :D If people don't buy it, that's that, and if people do buy it, that's that as well. So, expect the least and make sure to have fun :)
---
I don't know if any of this means anything to you right now, but this is what I experienced first-handed, and I don't want anyone else to get hurt, so I'm passing my knowledge down.
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:iconprincecalil:
PrinceCalil Featured By Owner May 26, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
You sound like me. Say, what's your zodiac sign? Virgo, Aries....etc....
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:iconchecker-bee:
Checker-Bee Featured By Owner May 26, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
:) good, so like the Doctor, I am not alone! (hooray for references! :D)

I'm a scorpio but I don't really act like one :O I'm more like my chinese zodiac, the sheep :iconsheepplz:
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:iconprincecalil:
PrinceCalil Featured By Owner May 26, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I'm a Virgo.
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:iconchecker-bee:
Checker-Bee Featured By Owner May 26, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
I don't really believe in zodiac stuff personlly, but I'm always curious :) i was reading a thing about what each zodiac is supposed to be and i think i'm like a half. I think everyone has different sides to them, so you could tell us we're a Cancer and I'd read it and find similarities or that we're a capricorn and we'd find similrities. its interesting all the ways we try to understand ourselves, isn't it? :) [link]
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:iconprincecalil:
PrinceCalil Featured By Owner May 27, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thanks for the link. And I see, :D.
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:iconchecker-bee:
Checker-Bee Featured By Owner May 27, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
you're welcome :) interesting eh? :)
Reply
:iconprincecalil:
PrinceCalil Featured By Owner May 27, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Yes. Very.
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