Shop Forum More Submit  Join Login
Death by chateaugrief Death by chateaugrief

I have no landscape for you today, and Patrons I promise I'll make up this week's posts.  Here's the comic link.  

This week my good friend left me to rejoin the love of her life.  

Morrigan Winifred who I always called Fred...the day we brought Jody home four years ago, she fell in love with him instantly.  And I didn't know how deeply until much later, it was a love that never faltered, never ended.   It was the happiest year for all of us.  We would go riding on these two enormous Clydesdales up and down the quiet country roads, 9 feet in the air.  She was the first horse I'd ever taken to high school level, and she thrived at it, she was a genius.  She was my levade horse, with a passage like floating on a cloud, and when she wanted to misbehave and not follow a simple command, she'd break into complicated piaffe.  She gave me a steady ballotade and even a capriole if she felt confident.  Her balance was perfect, she could gallop around a 6 foot lead rope, just slightly over half her body length. She was enormous, 6'2" at the shoulder and Jody was even bigger.  Even a pirouette on such a huge horse, it was as smooth as a walk.  Jody would watch, presumably with amusement, from a much simpler level of training...but he thrived in the classical school to and a lifelong carriage horse gradually learned to relax his powerful body and become a riding horse.

But Jody was ill, and the illness got into his joints just a year after he came.  He struggled on as much as he could, while we didn't know what was happening.  One day he went down out by the street, in pain, a crowd gathered, the cops were called, we were at work and got a call saying they were going to shoot him on site.  I begged the guy to hold off and we raced home, dragging a vet along with us.  We talked them out of it.  But that spot where he went down that day, Fred would remember for the rest of her life.  Jody limped along for another week, and after the signs didn't show the improvement the vet hoped for, an x-ray confirmed the terminal nature of the infection.  We took him out behind the garage and put him down before he had a chance to founder and die in terrible pain.   

She screamed for him.  She screamed for three weeks.  Day and night.  It broke my heart.  She looked for him.  She searched every single day.  Every single day that she walked by the spot he died, or that spot he went down, she would get down and lay there, smelling the ground, trying to find him.  Every day for years.  She was inconsolable.  We gave her another horse, a daughter Pi, but it wasn't his child.  She loved her foal, but not like she loved him.  

On Saturday, she was ill, she had a fever, wouldn't eat.  Thinking colic, I walked her around the yard a few times...just as I had done years ago for Jody.  She seemed to feel better and started to eat again. When she was free, she stood on the spot Jody died and didn't want to leave it. That night, we couldn't find Orange, we realized that we hadn't seen him all day...we'd been trying to help Fred.  When we found Orange, he felt like a corpse to my touch, cold, dehydrated, lethargic.  I got some fluids into him and took him to the cat vet first thing Sunday morning, but when we got back on Sunday, Fred's fever got rapidly worse, and still she just wanted to stand where he'd died.  We did everything we could for her with the horse vet, for hours and hours, ivs, medicine, I had no way to transport her to the vet hospital so we made one in the field on the spot, and if she'd lived through the night I could have found some way to move her.  She didn't though, she died very suddenly only a few hours after the vet left.  Just after her fever broke.  I still do not know what it was, and I'll probably never know.  Orange lived through the night, and he's made it through two more, gradually improving, though I'm still very worried about him. He's drinking well, and starting to eat again.  The vet had no idea what was wrong with him, and I'm thinking some kind of virus.  It all happened so fast. 

She stayed on that spot until the end, the place where he'd died all those years before.  And I can't help but wonder if he was on her mind, that even in death she was still searching for him.  Because she never gave up looking.  Not a single day went by that she didn't go look for him.  I believe that she found him.  

And so, although my heart is utterly broken, -- my friend, my teacher, my special girl is gone, the biggest heart I've ever known stopped, the kindest soul, the wisest horse I've ever known -- I have this deep sense that a vast sadness in the world was put right.  

Godspeed, Fred and Jody.  I wish you every happiness.  May we all meet again in a better place.  I promise I'll teach Pi everything you taught me.  

Add a Comment:
 
:iconblaser124:
blaser124 Featured By Owner Oct 31, 2018  New Deviant
la muerte , yo se de ciencia pero la ciencia no puede explicar la muerte , pero la filosofía si .... es verdad la filosofía esta muerta xd
pero la muerte no nos tiene que causa ningún miedo es solo el fin de un lago camino lleno de desgracias y , mi lagros y artistas como tu 
por eso es perfecta...
Reply
:iconthunderjam12:
thunderjam12 Featured By Owner Oct 25, 2018  Hobbyist Digital Artist
This is stunningly beautiful and utterly heartbreaking. I can't imagine the pain you're going through. Sending you positive, healing thoughts. :heart:
Reply
:iconneootaku2016:
neootaku2016 Featured By Owner Oct 22, 2018  Hobbyist Artist
im deeply sorry for your loss... *hugs*
Reply
:iconchateaugrief:
chateaugrief Featured By Owner Oct 22, 2018  Professional Digital Artist
thanks it means a lot to me.  she's very sorely missed. 
Reply
:iconneootaku2016:
neootaku2016 Featured By Owner Oct 23, 2018  Hobbyist Artist
anyone we hold dear to our hearts are sorely missed. but the reward of getting to know them, love them, and cherish them, way better than the loss. and its totally okay to mourn too. 
Reply
:iconrboy42:
rboy42 Featured By Owner Oct 5, 2018
Crying :comfort: I have no words for how sorry I am for your loss.
At least she is in a better place now and is finally reunited with the one she loves. And she was a very lucky horse to have an owner who cared so dearly for her.
Reply
:iconchateaugrief:
chateaugrief Featured By Owner Oct 6, 2018  Professional Digital Artist
Thank you so much for your kind words. It means a lot.  
Reply
:iconpanrod:
PanRod Featured By Owner Oct 1, 2018
:) (Smile) :) (Smile) :) (Smile) :) (Smile) Clap Clap Clap I think I've fainted. Clap 
Reply
:iconchateaugrief:
chateaugrief Featured By Owner Oct 2, 2018  Professional Digital Artist
:cry: thank you 
Reply
:iconpanrod:
PanRod Featured By Owner Oct 2, 2018
:( (Sad) Hug  Welcome . .:) (Smile) 
Reply
:iconchainedoombaby:
chainedoombaby Featured By Owner Sep 30, 2018   Artisan Crafter
The death of a good horse is always hard. You have my sympathies.
Reply
:iconchateaugrief:
chateaugrief Featured By Owner Oct 2, 2018  Professional Digital Artist
thank you, it means a lot
Reply
:iconnelehjr:
nelehjr Featured By Owner Sep 30, 2018  Hobbyist General Artist
WOW
Reply
:iconchateaugrief:
chateaugrief Featured By Owner Oct 2, 2018  Professional Digital Artist
:cry: thank you 
Reply
:iconkulkart:
Kulkart Featured By Owner Sep 30, 2018
It is sad to hear this loss... I'm sorry, man. Good work on this drawing.
Reply
:iconchateaugrief:
chateaugrief Featured By Owner Oct 2, 2018  Professional Digital Artist
thank you I appreciate the kind words
Reply
:iconz-nab27:
Z-nab27 Featured By Owner Sep 30, 2018
sorry for your loss...
Reply
:iconchateaugrief:
chateaugrief Featured By Owner Oct 2, 2018  Professional Digital Artist
thank you that means a lot
Reply
:iconbeckykidus:
BeckyKidus Featured By Owner Sep 29, 2018  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I'm so sorry for your loss. She must have been such a wonderful creature... Hopefully she'll now gallop alongside Jody on en evergreen field, or wherever horses go when they have left this world.
Reply
:iconchateaugrief:
chateaugrief Featured By Owner Sep 29, 2018  Professional Digital Artist
that's a wonderful sentiment and one I second wholeheartedly.  evergreen fields.  elysian fields.  where the grass is always fresh and sweet.  thank you so much.  
Reply
:iconkyrraven:
kyrraven Featured By Owner Sep 28, 2018
Such a bittersweet experience, and so beautifully depicted in your art and description. I'm sorry for your loss (and the onion ninjas got me while I was reading)
Reply
:iconchateaugrief:
chateaugrief Featured By Owner Sep 29, 2018  Professional Digital Artist
thank you that means a lot to me
Reply
:iconlonermade:
lonermade Featured By Owner Sep 28, 2018  Hobbyist Photographer
Beautiful and inspired picture, this story brought me to tears. I too have spent a lonely life looking for lost love. I can appreciate Fred's longing and heart ache but can only imagine your helplessness thru both their illnesses and your inability to console Fred or explain Jody's absence. Both the picture and your writing are born from loss but are filled with love and loyalty. Jody and Fred have found peace. You must feel a terrible loss but soon the heart ache will fade. Your memories will be of the love they had and the joy you received by witnessing it.
Reply
:iconchateaugrief:
chateaugrief Featured By Owner Sep 29, 2018  Professional Digital Artist
thank you for your words of wisdom it means a lot.  I do treasure the time I had with them both.  they taught me so much
Reply
:iconatybas:
ATYBAS Featured By Owner Sep 28, 2018  Hobbyist General Artist
lovely art. Just read the whole thing. im really sorry...:heart: :heart: :heart: 
Reply
:iconchateaugrief:
chateaugrief Featured By Owner Sep 29, 2018  Professional Digital Artist
thank you that means alot 
Reply
:iconatybas:
ATYBAS Featured By Owner Sep 29, 2018  Hobbyist General Artist
Keep strong. i know you can do it Heart Rainbow animated heart heart balloons :heart: Heart bum Heart 
Reply
:iconblackmage87:
blackmage87 Featured By Owner Sep 28, 2018  Hobbyist General Artist
I just saw the neat composition at first then realized it was you and, now I'm crying. I'm so sorry, <3 <3
Reply
:iconchateaugrief:
chateaugrief Featured By Owner Sep 28, 2018  Professional Digital Artist
thank you, it means a lot.  i've cried so much over the past few days, it was all so fast.  your kind words mean a lot to me though. thank you
Reply
:iconblackmage87:
blackmage87 Featured By Owner Oct 2, 2018  Hobbyist General Artist
<3 <3 <3
Reply
:iconlegendoflolz2:
legendoflolz2 Featured By Owner Sep 28, 2018  Hobbyist General Artist
I'm sorry...
Reply
:iconchateaugrief:
chateaugrief Featured By Owner Sep 28, 2018  Professional Digital Artist
thank you
Reply
:icondarkpixie1696:
darkpixie1696 Featured By Owner Sep 27, 2018  Hobbyist General Artist
I am so sorry for your loss, but I'm sure they are both together now and very proud of you and will always be with you in spirit :heart: :cheerup: 
Reply
:iconchateaugrief:
chateaugrief Featured By Owner Sep 28, 2018  Professional Digital Artist
thank you very much, it means a lot. i do think they've finally found each other again, and even though I'm so very sad, that makes me happy 
Reply
:icondarkpixie1696:
darkpixie1696 Featured By Owner Sep 29, 2018  Hobbyist General Artist
You are very welcome, may the forever be at your side together
Reply
:iconrossitorres:
RossiTorres Featured By Owner Sep 27, 2018   Digital Artist
Wonderful!
Reply
:iconchateaugrief:
chateaugrief Featured By Owner Sep 28, 2018  Professional Digital Artist
thank you
Reply
:iconsbgirl04:
SBgirl04 Featured By Owner Sep 27, 2018  Hobbyist General Artist
Such a beautiful painting for such a tragic loss. My condolences and may the wonderful memories you shared together help your heart heal.
Reply
:iconchateaugrief:
chateaugrief Featured By Owner Sep 28, 2018  Professional Digital Artist
thank you, that means a lot.  that's wise advice, i do have wonderful memories of our time together
Reply
:icongnoll-el:
Gnoll-El Featured By Owner Sep 27, 2018
MY sincere condolence for your loss for which you have expressed so movingly. 
Reply
:iconchateaugrief:
chateaugrief Featured By Owner Sep 28, 2018  Professional Digital Artist
thank you, that means a lot to me
Reply
:iconquirkybrainiac:
QuirkyBrainiac Featured By Owner Sep 27, 2018  Hobbyist General Artist
My sincerest condolences :huggle: :cling:
Reply
:iconchateaugrief:
chateaugrief Featured By Owner Sep 28, 2018  Professional Digital Artist
thank you it means a lot
Reply
:iconquirkybrainiac:
QuirkyBrainiac Featured By Owner Sep 29, 2018  Hobbyist General Artist
Of course!
Reply
:iconmauriciolealjr:
mauriciolealjr Featured By Owner Sep 27, 2018
Amazing!!
Reply
:iconchateaugrief:
chateaugrief Featured By Owner Sep 28, 2018  Professional Digital Artist
thanks
Reply
:iconjustjaxx:
JustJaxx Featured By Owner Sep 27, 2018
Heart 
Reply
:iconchateaugrief:
chateaugrief Featured By Owner Sep 28, 2018  Professional Digital Artist
thank you 
Reply
:iconkittenwylde:
kittenwylde Featured By Owner Sep 27, 2018  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thanks for sharing the story of your beautiful horses. I'm sorry for your loss, and I know they're together now.
Reply
:iconchateaugrief:
chateaugrief Featured By Owner Sep 27, 2018  Professional Digital Artist
thank you it means a lot to me.  i'm certain of it, and that gives me the strangest sense of bittersweet grief and mingled hope.  i'll miss her
Reply
Add a Comment:
 
×




Details

Submitted on
September 26
Image Size
360 KB
Resolution
1280×1920
Link
Thumb

Stats

Views
1,831
Favourites
644 (who?)
Comments
101