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Mature  |  Published: August 7, 2012
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© 2012 - 2019 CERose
Wandering Jack (Part 1)
By Cristen E. Rose

PART ONE of my newest steampunk short story.
Continued in PART TWO: [link]

Here's Lancelot: :thumb316342449: [link]

This story will be broken up into several parts due to length. Also, I have no idea if it really deserves a mature rating for sexual themes as suggested here, so I figured better safe than sorry.

Please comment and let me know how I can improve this. As a writer, I'm a work in progress, and I treasure your feedback.

Thanks for reading!

All the characters here are original and copyrighted by me. Don't use them or the text without my permission.
©2012 Cristen E. Rose.
Comments10
anonymous's avatar
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Violinscry's avatar
ViolinscryHobbyist Photographer
This had me grinning all the way through! Jack is a wonderful character, he reminds me of a character I'm currently building for a role-play adventure! *scampers off to the second chapter*
CERose's avatar
CERoseHobbyist Digital Artist
Thank you! He's currently the star of my NaNoWriMo project too. Hope you enjoy the rest of the story. ;)
Violinscry's avatar
ViolinscryHobbyist Photographer
I did enjoy it greatly! I found myself reading all the way through to the end, :)
remowylliams's avatar
remowylliamsHobbyist Digital Artist
Really beautifully written. There's a great deal here reminding me of the Music man and a young Robert Preston playing the part of Jack Pendragon.

I really appreciate the work you've put into your craft, it shows a joy that is very contagious.

Looking forward to reading the next installment.

With Admiration,

Remowylliams.
CERose's avatar
CERoseHobbyist Digital Artist
Thank you so much! Your comments are always so thoughtful.
I'm sketching out a full novel for Jack now, which I will probably start on once I finish my current project. :) Didn't intend to when I began this short story, but this character got under my skin...
Bluejay96's avatar
Bluejay96Student Digital Artist
Your writing has a very refined, collected feeling to it. I can tell you felt a lot of confidence while you were developing the beginning of the story, and you've got excellent skill with the description of your characters and world.

It's very professional, and the accents of the characters add on to their personality. Jack's a real charmer, and you've done well. Congrats. :)
The only thing I was wondering about was when the old woman said;

"But do it have morphine?" said... etc.

Is this her accent? :? If so, never mind my comment and amazing literature. :)
CERose's avatar
CERoseHobbyist Digital Artist
Thanks! Yep, I was going for bad Southern drawl. (Can you tell I live in the South? LOL!). Some writers do this with great skill (like Mark Twain), but some say it's a no-no and not politically correct. I figure since I'm a redneck I can get away with it. (?) Glad you liked Jack! The story gets much creepier and more interesting from here. Stay tuned... ;)
P.S. Most patent medicine DID have tons of morphine. Which is why it sold so well.
Bluejay96's avatar
Bluejay96Student Digital Artist
:giggle: I see - then you're set. Well done! Even if some say it's incorrect, I believe it adds character...
Creepier...? I don't cope well with horror... :XD: I'll continue reading though.
Ah, you've done your research! Brilliant! You are truly a talented writer!
CERose's avatar
CERoseHobbyist Digital Artist
Don't worry, I don't do horror either. Creepy in a good way. ;) My ending is currently being re-written because I am not happy with the character arcs, so I always appreciate your honesty in how I can improve... Thank you again!
Bluejay96's avatar
Bluejay96Student Digital Artist
Now I really am curious! :meow: Alright, then I shall continue reading. I wish you the best of luck!
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