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ccaru's avatar

04. monsters.

Do you have them? Mine is my own mind... it makes me think I'm not good enough... You gotta find the way to find them before they eat you alive.
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Shadoan's avatar
Did; now mine are my slaves or dead. It's kinda funny, you think these creatures own you and have so much of a grip on you that they become the reason you avoid others, ya avoid living, ya avoid talking to girls or guys you like.

Ya choose to stop existing. When you reach that point; you come to a crossroad either to die or keep suffering without ever asking a simple question; Why do I choose this? This sucks.... Then you get bored being in that dark pit, or at least I did, and decide to not be bored anymore. If I'm gonna be useless like this, I may as well go out doing something fun.

I got me a weapon and I hunted each of those monsters down; literally.

I started doing stand-up; running a game show at conventions where the focus is improv comedy, I helped others and myself defeat the beast called Anxiety. I went to a dating site, posted a basic profile of all the nerd crap I like and got responses, not many but a single response is better than none. I discover I have self worth to someone and while the relationship didn't last, knowing I have some worth out of the millions so far for a moment, I dragged the bitch called suicide from under the bed along with it's roommate called nightmare's and went Blade Runner on their asses.

After a while, I start looking into politics and seeing how the world has changed and started laughing; everyone is bitching at each other because they lack power, money, authority and everything else in between. I ain't sad anymore because everyone is acting like they're worse off than me and deserve more attention like these PC pricks and SJW off of Twitter trying to shut down South Park. Why? So far, they have ripped on everything blue and true and it doesn't fit in with what they believe?

I guess what I'm saying is my monsters we're slain and killed because I stopped complaining and decided to do the hunting myself for once. Do ya get hurt in the process? You do, but it's the kind of hurt where you look at the beast trying to sink it's teeth in your arm and you do not break eye contact. When it tries to break off, you grab it's fur and keep it from running because it now understands fear; you then decide what your going to do with it, realizing it's the creature who made you feel this way; you can kill it, you can let it go or consume it, take it in stride and feel whole....

... Sorry, I get wordy and poetic too much; Lovely art, lovely strokes, 10 outta 10.
ccaru's avatar

Those are great words. I know you are right. I've tried all these things you mention and did my best... it still didn't wor ... It's complicated, because I want to be happy... I guess sometimes you just have to accept them.

Shadoan's avatar
Wait, so you tried to run a game show?

There is a difference between trying, being artistic and literally doing.

Which is why Your coordinately invited to a live-stream running of an online game show 5-minutes to Save the world; a random chaotic imrpov game show where it's nerds fighting each other using quick quips and wits to spout at teach other in front of everyone on the glory of the internet.

A situation to be in is complicated, dealing with the situation is also complicated. Being bored of it and doing something fun to help fight it ain't.... Whats your nerdom, pokemon? Anime? Comcis? Art in general?
xXToxic-FriendXx's avatar
I don't only love this drawing but respect it, because it's show really what it intents whit your description too...I don't only love it all whit your unic style it's amazing!!!
ccaru's avatar
vidgamer123's avatar
Poor girl looks like she's suffering from an eating disorder...
ccaru's avatar

Yeap! That' was the idea, guess I made it hahaha

WolfieInTheWillow's avatar
They love to abuse you but tell you that their all you got for company.
WolfieInTheWillow's avatar
I know this feeling 😔
fumitheghoul's avatar
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