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cazcastalla's avatar

Remembering

By
This is my entry for the 'My Sadness' challenge at :iconcastle-of-cards:

Last year (2016), my mother was diagnosed with cancer of the oesophogus and was given a prognosis of 3 months. She survived for 2 months and 1 day from the date of that prognosis. 3 days after her death, my father (who was already in the early stages of dementia) started collapsing and ended up in hospital. It was discovered that he was bleeding internally from a suspected burst stomach ulcer. He was too agitated for them to investigate with an internal camera, so they pumped blood into him to try to replenish the loss. Unfortunately, the lack of oxygen to his brain affected his memory and made him even more agitated - he had no idea who anyone was (including himself), where he was, even that the world around him existed. 13 days after my mother's death, my father also died.

I have 2 siblings, and we all pulled together to help out. I live in Spain, but went back to the UK and spent around 4 months there caring for them - we were all strong and we all pulled together. Taking dad to the hospital to visit mum every day, cooking for him, keeping house, etc. None of us begrudged doing what we had to do - we willingly did it. The result of taking on the strength for all 3 of us was that when mum died, we continued to be strong for dad, then when dad died, we could have all collapsed in a heap, but somehow you actually can't - you keep up the strength, and your grief turns inward. I know we all feel the same, and none of us have yet grieved properly and openly - perhaps we never will, perhaps it will all come pouring out one day - who knows?

Mum loved orange roses. I planted an orange rose bush in her garden, and upon returning to my home, I planted an orange rose here for her, and a red rose for dad.

I only hope that when she passes by an orange rose in heaven, she spares a thought for me.

Stock used:

Model from :iconmirish: Link

Background from :iconvalentine-fov-stock: Link

Floating Island from :iconmoonglowlilly: Link

Box from :iconthalija-stock: Link

Bed of Roses from :iconninaheather: Link

Rose from :icondarkrose42-stock: Link

Wings from :iconromanticfae: Link
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© 2017 - 2021 cazcastalla
Comments4
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TheStockWarehouse's avatar
:sadangel: I'm SO behind on my message center I didn't even realize you had lost both of your parents so close together. Reading this is just so very sad. When I lost my mother when I was forty-years old it was difficult. At least my father carried on for another fifteen years. It is never easy to lose those your love :pray:
~ WDWParksGal 
cazcastalla's avatar
I was lucky enough to have both my parents until the age of 57 - it was a shock to lose them both as, 3 months before their deaths, they weren't showing any symptoms of illness - but I console myself with the thought that neither of them suffered through long battles with illness, and  neither had to make a new life for themself without the other. From their points of view, it was for the best - from our points of view, it was shocking!
TheStockWarehouse's avatar
It must have been SO shocking to have both of your parents pass on so close to each other especially when they weren't showing signs of illness.

My mother had been ill for a few years before she passed on. Her body gave out but her mind never did. The same way with my dad; he didn't show signs of illness until he had to be rushed to the ER from internal bleeding. He was gone just three months later from cancer. His body just shrunk away but his mind was still intact.

Life can change suddenly from one minute to the next. You just never know :no:
Reddawgi's avatar
So sorry to read of your loss. Thanks for joining in the challenge. Good Luck by LunarBlueWolf