Some days come and go, like smoke in the breeze
rising from shattered glass and discarded promise.
I've had days and nights and forever's like this;
when I sit here alone and think of what's never going to be
like all the promises made of smoke in the bottle smashed,
the remains of the fire and the abandoned house.
Thorns and roses scattered on the path to walk,
barefoot, thorns bite into the skin.
It's MY northern sky, you'll never take it away from me,
it's not bright, it'll never be bright.
I was a fool to think it lit up in your presence
I was a fool in your presence.
You never loved me through the winter,
you never loved me till I was dead.
I never felt any of your magick, I never tasted you
I never felt you with me, I felt nothing but blind,
I still feel nothing at all,
but there you go again, going away again.
You were always meant to be kept in a reliquary
you were always so damn precious.
And I was never worthy to hold you at all,
I wasn't pure enough (Fuck, no you're not.)
I was never righteous, I never had that divinity
I might as well have always, ALWAYS fucking lied.
You break me; still, even now.
You make me swear in poetry.
It's impossible to quantify how I feel
like I'm angry, I hate everything, I'm confused.
And at the same time I'm sad, I'm lonely,
I'm longing for things that will never be, ever again.
I had a vision of waiting for long enough
that you'd see me again and forget everything else.
I hoped and prayed that we could be again,
like we were once before,
but we cannot, we will not and we should not.
We're not the same, I'm losing my mind.
To our love, send back all the letters.
To our love, send a dozen white lilies.
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I remember you.