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About Varied / Hobbyist Captain Africa23/Male/United States Recent Activity
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Characters 2008 To 2018 by Candor-Shade Characters 2008 To 2018 :iconcandor-shade:Candor-Shade 4 0 Epic Battle Fantasy -- Anna by Candor-Shade Epic Battle Fantasy -- Anna :iconcandor-shade:Candor-Shade 17 2 Brave Flame by Candor-Shade Brave Flame :iconcandor-shade:Candor-Shade 3 0 Kyon Haruhi And Sasaki by Candor-Shade Kyon Haruhi And Sasaki :iconcandor-shade:Candor-Shade 2 0 Zusas misadventures characters by Candor-Shade Zusas misadventures characters :iconcandor-shade:Candor-Shade 1 0 Mellwin And The Light Mages by Candor-Shade Mellwin And The Light Mages :iconcandor-shade:Candor-Shade 2 0 Zusa Angsty by Candor-Shade Zusa Angsty :iconcandor-shade:Candor-Shade 5 0 Zusa on Throne by Candor-Shade Zusa on Throne :iconcandor-shade:Candor-Shade 3 0 Mona and Madeline by Candor-Shade Mona and Madeline :iconcandor-shade:Candor-Shade 0 0 7753 colored by Candor-Shade 7753 colored :iconcandor-shade:Candor-Shade 3 0 Maira and Shade 2018 by Candor-Shade Maira and Shade 2018 :iconcandor-shade:Candor-Shade 1 0 Zusa Flarey Stalker by Candor-Shade Zusa Flarey Stalker :iconcandor-shade:Candor-Shade 0 0 Shade Hanabi and Maira 2018 by Candor-Shade Shade Hanabi and Maira 2018 :iconcandor-shade:Candor-Shade 0 0 Kyoko On Couch by Candor-Shade Kyoko On Couch :iconcandor-shade:Candor-Shade 3 0 Drunk Maira Sketch by Candor-Shade Drunk Maira Sketch :iconcandor-shade:Candor-Shade 1 0 Cherry And Deluge by Candor-Shade Cherry And Deluge :iconcandor-shade:Candor-Shade 2 0


colored sketch commission by sasucchi95 colored sketch commission :iconsasucchi95:sasucchi95 1,284 23 draw this in your style challenge by sasucchi95 draw this in your style challenge :iconsasucchi95:sasucchi95 2,763 79 RanRan~ by Kazenokaze RanRan~ :iconkazenokaze:Kazenokaze 928 43 Merry Xmas by meodualeo Merry Xmas :iconmeodualeo:meodualeo 366 22 Miku1 by mst1ng Miku1 :iconmst1ng:mst1ng 32 0 Headshot Commission by sasucchi95 Headshot Commission :iconsasucchi95:sasucchi95 1,017 16 full body commission by sasucchi95 full body commission :iconsasucchi95:sasucchi95 1,355 28 Princess Zelda by Rosuuri Princess Zelda :iconrosuuri:Rosuuri 1,896 30 Miu by kandasama Miu :iconkandasama:kandasama 363 21 Flower Garden by kandasama Flower Garden :iconkandasama:kandasama 424 21 COM2018 - Misachu by Kazenokaze COM2018 - Misachu :iconkazenokaze:Kazenokaze 967 59 |CM| Swimsuit Lux by GigaMessy |CM| Swimsuit Lux :icongigamessy:GigaMessy 1,813 134 C :: Elsa dakimakura by rimuu C :: Elsa dakimakura :iconrimuu:rimuu 939 46 Magical Mirai by rimuu Magical Mirai :iconrimuu:rimuu 1,857 92 Headshot Commission by sasucchi95 Headshot Commission :iconsasucchi95:sasucchi95 1,654 32 Hokusai by Rosuuri Hokusai :iconrosuuri:Rosuuri 1,735 39

Journal History




Candor-Shade's Profile Picture
Captain Africa
Artist | Hobbyist | Varied
United States
Youtube: CaptainAfrica (EpicImpotence)
MyAnimeList: PrincessGuardian
Steam: CaptainAfrica

For full animation shorts, see here:…

Here is my Patreon! Don't be afraid to donate, even a dollar would be appreciated:

While I am not literally *starving* yet it is difficult for me to balance a normal working life (and hold down 40 hr grinds) due to my overactive imagination, depressive spells etc.! Hopefully your help will help me delay becoming a street artist for at least a few weeks in the future...

I'll try my best to revise/edit the stuff I have written and publish, but even then it's likely I won't make nearly enough money as a writer.

I'm a lazy ass wageslave (2017 graduate)that don't do shit in real life, I just daydream do proletariat job and do muh artsy shit and dump them onto here, Youtube and Newgrounds
~5.5 yrs experience in Flash, ~3 years working in ToonBoom Harmony. I started using SmoothDraw in summer 2014, Krita late 2016. I've worked almost every day for Sept. 2013 to August 2015 and have always at least drawn regularly. My black and white sketches are usually just done with normal pencil and paper.

Drawing and flat out daydreaming of stories has always been a passion of mine. I probably drew more anime/manga stuff regularly since high school which means maybe 9+ years by now. Animation seemed to me as an ideal form of creative work as it requires tremendous patience even with talent, and since for the most part you get out what you put in.

Overall artists can't make much money at all unless working for a big company, and I didn't get an art degree either hehe.

Heroines by the years:
2009-2011: Rhyme (Hazel hair and eyes)
2011-2012: Hanabi Holbeck (black hair and grey eyes)
2011-2013: hard Homura fanboy (from Megucas)
2012-2013: May Sinker (messy blue-black hair, yellow eyes)
2012-2014, 2016-: Zusa Karasu (Twintails, red eyes, red flames)
2014-: Maira Snow (white-silver hair, purple eyes, thick eyelashes)
2017-: Nila Straese (curly short black hair, vampire eyes)

If you want to look for any of my novels in the future, see Legend of Shade, Tales of Quinity, and Zusa's Misadventures.

Current Residence: United States
Favourite genre of music: Classical, J-Pop, Video Game
Favourite style of art: Anime/manga, Abstract, Surrealism
Operating System: Windows
MP3 player of choice: My mind, PC
Wallpaper of choice: waifu
Skin of choice: Fragile epidermis
Favourite cartoon character: Yang Wenli (muh democracy), Oskar von Reuenthal (the feelz) Girls -- Rem (Re:Zero), Miuna Shiodome (NagiAsu), Kyoko Sakura (Madoka)
Personal Quote: "Andy, your iceberg is completely submerged. It's touching hell; that's how deep it is."


Main news, aside from finishing the 10+ year compilation, I read through The First Three Minutes by Steven Weinberg, went through Introduction to Cosmology textbook, and threw in more hours on Epic Battle Fantasy 5. New particle physics text is on the way. I played most of the main story on hard, but have gone through miniboss on Epic, the 4 premium dungeons on Epic, and Temple of Trials 5 bosses on Epic. Pretty fun game overall and have been cheesing too much with Ninja Skirt w/Anna and Revive. Cat-God and Matteus, Natalia were the harder ones for me, while Neon Valhalla was surprisingly easy with the right setup (Black Widow, Soul Eater, Earth Skills, Tsunami) Overall probably not going for 100% completion though.

Toying with the idea of Eldrazi Post in Legacy. Seems more fun than regular Eldrazi, I could tear apart Goblins for D&T, but D&T seems overall less fun.

Finished rewatching the main series of Haruhi. Still overall like it after 10 years and basked in quite a bit of nostalgia. Very few fictional characters really seemed as self-aware as Kyon. And yes really did rewatch Endless Eight -- 8x8 equals Endless 64...

I won't be very active drawing and animating next year, due to time constraints. If you would like to see more from me please support me on Patreon.

Also decided to rank the last 10 years in my mind, from best to worst. I would say overall I calculate for average happiness during those years -- however, given the type of being I am, some major accomplishments or pleasures are able to outweigh otherwise bad years. If I really wanted to I could try and rank 2003-2008, but at the same time there wasn't that much I could remember from those years, in addition to less mood swings.


Without a doubt as number 1. Although the first few months were difficult, I finally got my own laptop in April and things went pretty well from there. My writing wasn't at its best at all, but I didn't worry much about it since I felt I still had plenty of time. I originally just split the original Shade into two major arcs, and filled it with subplots without thinking too hard about it -- although later on, those two villains became more minor characters. I was also pretty poor writing supporting characters back then, but I did try with Hanabi and Rumi, the Purifier, who is no longer a part of the story. I nostalgically replayed the N64 Zeldas, then during summer break got really deep into both Shadow of the Colossus (on emulator) and Super Meat Boy -- the latter I raged a lot when dying and stuff. I got A+ on all light stages and completed the dark world, but I never bothered much for bandaid/warpzones or trying out the additional characters. Animewise, Haruhi finally released novels 10/11 which was hype but didn't like it that much when reading; watched Madoka for the first time too. Along with the first true honeymoon period of having a waifu (Homura) I got balls deep into Lost Saga in September, playing with friends from school as well, sort of making fun of one of them too much. I was mainly playing Joker/Viking with sub-optimal setup (balloons) but I had mad speed and just got really into the beat em up and faction. I made fun of one of my irl friends too much and liked watching him rage too. I still remember back then I was horrible with Fire Mage though. I met probably my best online friend ever (BowandSword) in November as well. Writing it out the pleasure seemed shallow, but at the same time this year was the year when I had the best methods of escaping my usual depression and anxiety? I also had never really gotten into an MMO community before that -- back in middle school I mostly played Gamecube games, Flash games and read books. Back then writing my cringe fanfic felt good too -- it dwarfed my initial weebspurt in 2008 with Nagato, perhaps I was just much hornier, hah. As far as my animation quality goes it wasn't that great, but here are some memorable samples (Cupid shoots heart, Kyubey) In general this was also the year when I went full-weeb, I would drown my sorrows after school by hoarding pictures of lolis. (sounds stupid to most people but it worked, damn it) I guess one sad thing is one of my kittens died, but at the same time he was only around 1 year old so I didn't have that deep of an attachment. Also, this year I still had roughly 2 years left of high school, so I didn't feel like I had to worry much about the future.

Kyubey by Candor-Shade
Voiceless by Candor-Shade


A pretty solid number 2. Like 2011 I had a rough beginning, especially because college during this school year went almost full SJW, particularly with feminism so they'd drop it in every humanities class, while I just recently redpilled from the internet. Also got sick at the beginning of the year, and was still running with Zusa even though it didn't get as far off the ground as I hoped. Roommate stayed up into the night too many times. Lost Saga was at that point pretty bad, but I didn't have much else to play for the first half of the year, and Homura was less of a comfort as well. However, in April/May I watched Legend of the Galactic Heroes for the first time. A lot of loose ends but overall the series didn't disappoint, probably gave more inspiration as well. Still, most of the work I did the first half with Zusa's story and animation didn't manifest successfully. While initially I was upset I didn't get to relax much during the summer, I rediscovered SSBM, played Zelda SS, and hit a creative streak, you could say. Even though I was disappointed with Zusa (I don't plan to really continue the plot threads I started in 2014) I got lost in the world of Shade from July to early December. I finally decided to make things... grittier and realistic with the idea of Caenus as a hero-dictator, and the "Republican" ideology of Shane as the light hero also worked. The simple idea of a flying animation clicked while Zusa's animation I threw in way too many different villains and made the world and story too big. I also finally found drawing software that was free and comfortable to work in SmoothDraw, although none of my drawings in 2014 were that good. I discovered Smite as well and Starcraft 2, although initially quite clumsy with it (Lost too much to MMM and Roach allins in WoL). Rose of Versailles and Ping Pong the Animation were other good shows I enjoyed this year. And the replay of Epic Battle Fantasy 4 on Hard was pretty cool. (I never got the Premium version though) Despite the shortcomings earlier in the year, I would say this year was the year where I was overall the most satisfied with my work. I experimented with many things in animation, and although I never got flame effects down that well, I pushed myself to greater heights... (I finally learned how to be more comfortable with both gradients and backgrounds for shading)


I was initially surprised to find myself putting this as high as #3 -- while I had some of the worst depression of my life during this year, in addition to Lost Saga addiction/rage, I also had my closest friendships, and dare I say brotherhood that likely won't be common in the rest of my life. I was having trouble focusing in school due to a combination of being too depressed and horny due to no real Homura, I didn't think I was playing well enough in Lost Saga (but Sol was pretty horrible without high stats in skills), but for the first six months or so my best friend online, BowandSword, would faction (2v2 usually) a few times every week, even when my irl best friend took constant breaks from Lost Saga. I never had such close friendships for most of my other years -- even during MtG it was usually 1v1. It felt like it was often the 2 of us vs the world. The game was pretty flawed admittedly, with IceTemp, horn, dominating the meta and lagging, and 1v1 had stupid combos too. I could've learned Hazama faster if only I knew how to mash buttons back then. Mind you, BowandSword still had Unicorn Lancer and Ice Mage which were utility and decent w/ground hits, although Joker and Sol were pretty weak and awkward in the meta. I got a little lucky and having to retake summer classes wasn't that horrible. In retrospect AP Lang was a better class than many intro classes at UC Riverside, especially due to the diversity of viewpoints, although the God unit was imbalanced with far less arguments against God's existence. In Lost Saga I met more Canadian friends, although the game started to be shutdown, I still bothered grinding my Joker to level 50 (which was a lot of hours on the old OGP server and I didn't grind Hard Sade) through November even though it was a pretty lowtier hero, as my best friend stuck with Sol too. I had some good times with reform Viking and May though -- May's wep was pretty op at the time. During the last couple of months I started to feel really empty though, and had problems writing, just a lot of dark weirdness crept into my mind. My writing was overall disappointing as well, especially since this was supposed to be the year that I wanted to finally get off the ground. (although in a sense I got better writing a supporting cast by introducing the first version of Caenus) I still had trouble developing most of the villains and supporting cast; perhaps I was too reluctant to portray factions and countries at war? And overall the fight scenes were awkward and messy -- the original Shade used more dark magic and less strength+tactics. Luckily my best friend (and therapist) was still there, and I met another group of online friends.

Glasses by Candor-Shade

Mature Content

For Ratchet-Halo by Candor-Shade


Despite my difficulties this year still ranks high overall. I was really into animation, I guess, although my art quality was still lacking. Flash had its limitations and for most of the year I still was relatively inexperienced with digital shading. Still, after the dragon-volcano scene I really began to burn out. (I think I may have cut corners a bit with Shane riding his horse...) Both mind and body, as I remember developing a bit of eyestrain from animating. I also somewhat realized the sheer difficulty of also adding background detail. Adam Phillips is ungodly for dropping 14 a day with extra hours in his backgrounds... I wasn't as into games compared to the previous years. Smite has its MOBA problems (long games/toxic players), TERA had its MMO problems and at the end of the year I was still really learning macro cycles for SC2, as I went Adept drop and Chargelot Immortal too often. (At least vs Z, which was frustrating for lower rank players) LotV was also in a dumb blink-stalker disruptor meta which dragged out games a lot. Lost Saga was beyond dead at this point though. The loneliness was almost unbearable, as well as the nostalgia bombs in the middle of the summer. I didn't think it would be that hard to make more friends and meet more people, high school really was something special. However, at the same time I still got to live away from my parents, and the classes then weren't as bad as logging in 8 hours of work -- although we had to read a lot of boring for history in the fall, the prof. told us where to focus and I got lucky with the other classes (still good enough at maths). I enjoyed Tad Williams' original Memory Sorrow and Thorn series to some extent, even if it dragged on at times with some useless side characters, the detail was vivid and unique. Animewise there was Kekkai Sensen and Nagi no Asukara even though the latter wasn't that good? Plenty of shortcomings writingwise to think about it, but at the time I didn't worry about it that much, and pure productionwise still a good word-count, and I was still more invested in the story than average. I wish there were more good things to say about the year -- I would've gotten more accomplished for sure if I hadn't fallen into the depression after losing my friend. In addition, as good as Starcraft 2 was it also did not provide the social... casualness that Lost Saga had allowed me, it really is meant to be 1v1 game. Despite my reread of my 2014 work, I didn't know where to edit it yet.


The first couple months were rather tough, I'd have to admit. Threw a lot of time on Granblue Fantasy and Thunder games (with Westbrook heavy carry), had trouble continuing writing throughout the year. However, the new Zelda game and having fun on Mahouiku Discord somewhat made up for it. (although I wish BotW's world was less empty) Also the martial arts club was active enough although our leader skipped meetings near the end. I wasn't able to continue with longer animations either, in a sense I was kind of disappointed I would have to settle for two short transformation scenes, and I didn't finish the second one either. Although I played less Starcraft 2 I scattered attention on Chivalry Medieval Warfare and Smite a bit, which were decent in their own ways. I struggled to write because I never felt like I had properly closed Shade, and new ideas for whatever reason were hard to come by, even considering completely changing story and writing style. Eventually I'm glad I progressed significantly with Zusa's plot, although I may have taken a few too many risks. Looking back the stuff I did write this year wasn't that bad, but I lost a lot of confidence due to my 2016 shortcomings. The working grind come August nevertheless got me down and for the last four months I had a hard time writing and thinking of plot, unfortunately. Overall I wish I had drawn a bit more as well, although part of improving my artwork was the anxiety and laziness. Honestly drawing can involve staring at lines and shading for just too many hours. I also was clumsy enough to crash my car near the end of the year and that took more hours to repair. Hollow Knight and Magic the Gathering Legacy were fun diversions enough (although Pox had its shortcomings), reconnecting with two of my friends from hs -- still, nothing like the time I had in 2011 when I threw away hours on Super Meat Boy. I also had a couple of friends from college talk to me more this year, which might be the last social interaction I'll get in a long time. Would rank this higher if I just managed to write more -- even 20K more words would've done, as this really was the last year I found comfortable opportunities to write... But I guess animation moreso kept my hands full, drawing detail in outfits is no joke. Although even animation I had around six weeks of struggle since I wanted to make another OP (90 secs), but realized I couldn't due to time constraints...


The first four months of a 40-hour corporate job was definitely one of the worst times in my life. I made an active effort to cut down on gaming so I'd have more time for other stuff, but drawing on low energy really is a strain... Granted, I still did waste time watching Thunder games (2018 went downhill after losing Roberson). I tried new things and nothing worked. Perhaps caffeine kills me. In any case if the corporate job went on for the rest of the year I would probably have to rank this in the bottom three -- suppressing depression turned to numb-ness and very little creativity to write decent segments. Monotony is probably many times as harsh on me than it is on the average person. When May swung around I was done with it. Luckily had the time and energy to finally wrap up Zusa version 2, which I failed to do so last year. (although admittedly, it still does need a good amount more editing before being publishable, it's another option of Shade never gets off the ground) I also finally mustered enough confidence to put in the necessary edits to Shade and sent off to publisher(s). I spent approximately half my time on video games as before and enjoyed them significantly less. Magic was on average alright, and I got lucky quite a few times with Goblins. I still did follow eSports a bit. This year though I enjoyed drawing less and animation a lot less admittedly sacrificing them for writing? It's a pretty sad realization that it's difficult to compromise such passions with a 40 hour grind. Regardless, I didn't accomplish nothing in the artistic field, and thanks to the new Osten Ard book from Tad Williams book I sort of had more inspiration for the literary field -- While I may have thrown in too many characters and subplots, I was definitely more enthusiastic writing than most of 2015-2017. Got to finally finish LoGH rewatch. The game I got the most into this year was Epic Battle Fantasy 5, which I never really beat yet (although it is big more fun and I am better than it than my playthroughs of EBF4), nor will have time to really get many achievements in the future... Also had a good more fun with Hollow Knight but never really got back into Smite. As far as publishing went, in the end I didn't see much progress and got rejected by 2 out of the 5 I submitted to. Overall, however, seeing the hours go by at work and my shortcomings, this year is still pretty close to 2016, just slightly better.


I'm surprised this year ranked so low, but nevertheless it has too many disappointments to ignore. While I was able to have time and energy at college, depression and writer's block got to me, and two of my roommates were also annoying -- weed-smoking son of feminism first half and alcoholic beerpong toilet-clogging fuckboy the second, and my parents in the middle of it were frustrating too. I threw in many hours of watching Starcraft even though sOs had trouble transitioning to LotV and Stats didn't yet ascend to his current level. (while Parting failed to adapt in general) And I can't say it was all pure laziness -- I really did try to experiment more with writing and the supporting characters and everything just got messier in the story. I also never got as good at SSBM as I had hoped, it really was a tough game, although I got kinda decent in GGXrd Sign on Steam with few rooms. I couldn't get into the Law material as well, as hard as I tried, though I got decent enough grades. In the meantime perhaps it was just lack of raw experience that made my animation awkward -- that was a good thing when it came to animating The Sky, but two characters makes things a lot more difficult. In addition I found myself seriously trying to invest in politics but disappointed overall with how the media played everything out, and how our uni like most others just decided to side with the left. Although it wasn't needlessly indoctrinating like freshman year, I also had to take a fair number of boring classes in order to get major requirements (although better than job, still count against this year). While I had more time gaming and drawing for that matter I'd still have to admit this year was still slightly worse than 2018. I wasn't able to make the proper edits to my best writing either, and was unsure whether or not I had messed up story-wise, and even in August-September when I had more time after summer classes I still... lacked enough ideas for Zusa, even though the story was more stable, and from September to December I didn't feel as fulfilled with the writing as I expected, overall clumsy with character development and just threw in battles. Overall it was a battle between being guilty about not-writing, and guilty about not-thinking hard enough for my plots -- probably because it was my first time writing such a large world with many villains and subplots! I wasn't disappointed in all of my work, but at the same time, I sort of expected more out of the year given that it was my last year before entering the workforce. Animation wise I had disappointments all around and don't want to think too much about it -- too ambitious, inexperienced, and disorganized. Post-endgame in TERA was quite pointless as well, and overall despite throwing hours into it still came short to the fun I had in Lost Saga 2011-2012... The nostalgia and the fresh bouts of loneliness were a bit more cruel as well, perhaps. Later in the year I guess I played the Last Guardian which was fun. Enjoyed anime less although Re:Zero was good.


Ranks in the bottom three because my psychological issues were more severe then, and the drug I had previously used called Lost Saga went offline for 2 months, then downhill with rereforms and OP pay2win gear every single week. (I was exhausted after pouring dumb amount of work on another messy fanfic by February...) What went from a derpy fighter with mixups, guardbreak, team position/combos etc went to usually a bunch of Card Magicians jump spam until they had OP stun skills. Which is sad because I also really wanted my stuff back, levels, gears, and all. It does sound shallow but keep in mind, from K-8th grade I had a hard time with friendships, so LS was my main avenue in that area. Didn't bother picking up a new game then and sort of got way too much into porn and fapping. Writing didn't take off as well as I wanted to, with Wonder and Zusa's Misadventures. I remember many difficult nights where almost an hour would pass just thinking, trying to summon the motivation to write more. Shortage of ideas overall, for Zusa I gave her too many powers instead of keeping it simple, and my supporting cast didn't work out too well. (Having to force the creation of Tachi in the middle, cyborg-girl that I never bothered to rewrite) Maybe too much Lost Saga influenced, ha. I suppose I really didn't just want to write a generic villain, even though it proved disorderly with the early versions of Shade. In the first version, hiding the superheroes from the public as with many animes was a poor choice as well. I finished my senior year animation and felt bummed, didn't animate again till September but at the time I was still stretching the limits of my patience. I added more shading in general, but overall still sucked with effects. At the time I was introduced to men's rights but was still very skeptical, although by the next year the university proved their point. College transition was very awkward in general with crazy anxiety esp. with crowds of people, it took a while for me to get physically used to martial arts club and be social enough as well. The dorms were pretty noisy at times and I hated the public bathrooms, which was an issue into 2014. Continued to rely on porn and fap. Good things were anime -- Darker than Black and Fate/Zero, and the Madoka movie at the end. Also Epic Battle Fantasy 4 and Castle Crashers were good but they didn't make up for losing the home I had in Lost Saga. I even dumped pointless hours into DragonNest during LS shutdown. At the very end Rebellion did trigger a second honeymoon-ish phase with my final egotistical fanfic, although I also got sick near the end of the year.

Amy - an animation by Candor-Shade


Overall depressed almost through the entire year. I suppose in the first few months or so I had Digimon Tamers which looking back was a pretty good show, other anime was the original Kino's Journey. The Last of the Dashkin was also an inspiration and I laughed with Chris too much about Epic Beard Man, and still some more Colony and Sonny 2. Read some Kafka and his stories were half-inspiration, although I'd never write something as purely... grim? Writingwise I had mixed feelings, wrapping up my first book (Bittersour) was annoying, but at the same time finishing Beckoning of Phantasmagoria in October gave me more hope. Again, still awkward time-travel elements and the supporting cast was not that deep. (And still random Sonny 2 references) Wasted a lot of time in general watching mediocre shows on Netflix, although Avatar the Last Airbender was overall decent, it seemed a bit too long and cheesy at times. On the other hand for the last 2 months I still didn't have that many more ideas for my next work. Animationwise I got improvement, but at the same time it was quite the grind for a 15-year old, and I never got off the ground trying to create small games either. Also did have some fun in school projects. I did try my hand drawing on paper a few times but really didn't like much of my art. Still remember how much I hated school and life, getting nowhere with my crushes for sure. And initially Eric Fu was annoying as fuck by reciting anti-Japanese WWII propaganda and obsessing over face shapes. Speaking of WWII I hated everything more after I saw people killing everyone in World History. Better than 2009 because I acquired more social skills, but I was still quite awkward. (I got closer to a new friend who was in classes through Magic the Gathering sorta) At the end of the year at least I had the Haruhi movie, Nagato was a cute. Sounds lame, but my life really was pretty grey without it.


This was the first year of dealing with major depression and not finding a way to cope, and also not wanting to grow up at all. My writing became a lot darker than before. I had major focus issues, some insomnia by the end of middle school, my general neurosis among other people amplified, and in addition I never discovered masturbating until August so sexuality confused me. I rewatched shows and realized how the magic of childhood seemed to leave me, and yet the adult world (sitcoms, jokes etc) seemed so shallow. I think I had always suppressed my feelings and then this year was when things became too intense to ignore -- I tried to write more but never liked much of my writing this year. I even went on a pretty significant hiatus in the middle of it, struggling with ideas in November. I didn't understand depression and I thought that there was a possibility that things would be this bad for the rest of my life. Probably daydreaming too much in middle school made my emotional issues roll into a snowball rather than be able to be more distracted. I also struggled with real friendships and my parents and the school never helped with with those. My dad just tried to push me into the model of success despite the fact that he never attempted to build a trustworthy relationship with me beforehand, and I saw making money as shallow. Sonny 2 was an upside (back then I thought getting to Zone 7 vs Corruptor was an accomplishment), but Haruhi season 2 made me rage pretty hard with Endless Eight, although the trailer in December gave me hope for its future. I hated all of my original writing after spiraling out of control with fanfic as well. And yet I had nothing else because my social skills were garbage back then and it still took me a long time to develop trust with my therapist. The only social activity I could have was fucking Colony.
  • Listening to: Bionicle songs
  • Reading: Physics textbooks
  • Watching: Haruhi Suzumiya 8th time
  • Playing: EBF5
  • Eating: random food
  • Drinking: water to wash it all through ._.
Characters 2008 To 2018
Took a whopping 50ish hours, although for most of the drawing things progressed smoothly. A compilation of most of my main characters over these ten and a half years. I missed a good deal, but it's impossible to feature everyone because I've really daydreamed a lot of characters over the years. Also threw in decent work on backgrounds -- would sort of feel bad leaving it plain/white.

Here is the list. Divided into thirds, and left to right, top to bottom:

2008 OC -- where I started in April of the year in 7th grade. Mostly inspired by Legend of Zelda, but no shield and no hat. Enemy wasn't that creative either and I never gave him proper allies/supporting cast. I was short and skinny as a kid, so I didn't bother making myself taller in my fantasies.

Inder (2008, 2010, 2015) -- not really a love interest. But popped up again in Quinity's story as a supporting character. Also an ice mage, although relatively unskilled -- she is around 12-13 :/

Mornius (2015-2016) -- the golden light dragon king.

Rhyme (2009-2012) -- Second main heroine after Hanabi? I made her a combination of Kyon from Haruhi and just... weird parts of my conscience? Overall still didn't make her interesting enough though, and that's why she's been untouched for so many years. I always gave her hazel hair/eyes as well. I never bothered giving her fancier outfits either, or suiting her up in a North High outfit...

Rianna Savisham (2009-2012) -- Rich girl. Green hair was inspired by Tsuruya from Haruhi. Sort of made her too much of a sadistic bitch at first.

(bored) me -- goes along with Rhyme and Rianna, more than anything just an impersonation of those high school years. I drew him more like Kyon in the old days, since I was a pretty big Haruhi-ist I put the SOS Brigade emblem too.

May Sinker (2012-2013) Formed late 2012 in an attempt to try something new with writing, didn't work out that well -- most likely not going to come back to her anytime soon. Plunged into the darkest depths of my childhood fears, awkwardness, and insecurity...

Lucas Sinker (2012-2013) Didn't write too much of him in 2012. Father of May, weird character. Still had to include despite the perverseness because I did put effort into him (writing at least)

Quinity (2010-2012. 2014-2016) -- He was the third most written about character? Given two iterations as main character in 2010 and 2015, and a supporting character in the other years. Sort of based of Link, gogglehead from Digimon, and just made him a lightning mage in later version. Too boring to really bother working more on his story though he served as another antihero in some segments. Also originally had a "shadow wolf" as his sidekick who was featured w/independent story back in 2006-2007, but not anymore.

Jean Sobrien (2010, 2015) -- based too much on the Digimon Kaiser? No dark spores though lol. Just a bullied kid who became super hacka and served as Quinity's main antagonist in his first story arc.

(The more main characters take center stage)

Hanabi Holbeck (2009, 2011-2012, 2014-2016, 2018) -- Originally developed as the love interest of the story -- later on may have been inspired by a girl from high school, had her own adventures and quests. She was originally supposed to be the "redeemer" of the story, but her role was shifted into going on time travel missions in the distant past. (And later on, something even more abstract, but given a minor role?) Always shot fireworks.

Caenus Snow (2006-2007, 2011-2012, 2014) -- I include the earlier years because I guess his prototype was a guy called Chainer, but also an ice-mage. By 2012 developed into Shade's rival, but his final battle was a lot different back then (Hanabi bailed Shade out with a deus ex). Transitioned him into a hero-dictator after inspired by Reinhard from LoGH? I might've gotten a bit lazy giving him a greatsword as well.

Candor Shade (2009-2018) -- Featured practically every year, even when writing less I drew him and he popped up in animations (2013), or was a minor/supporting character in 2010 for Quinity's stint. Has changed a good deal over the years from being a weirdo thrown in fanfic. Things quickly took a dark turn since 2008's idealistic hero as I just fell into depression and got edgy, making an antihero with a dark fate. The poleaxe was chosen since his conception (although he originally had more dark powers), and dragon wings granted in 2011.

Zusa Karasu (2012-2014, 2016-2018) -- Technically still featured in 2015 with animation and a couple of drawings. During her original conception I didn't imagine myself to be that invested, and her initial run from 2013-2014 was not that smooth either. She's next to Shade in the most-drawn and written about character though. Pyrokinesis as her main power, I originally gave her portals but it overcomplicated many scenes. She originally channeled the powers of a phoenix as well, but in 2017 I granted her demonic curses (and horns).

-To the right of Zusa, the eye is Rakdoth's eye, the underground Demon Lord, featured 2017-2018...

Jank (2017-2018) Nila's older half-brother, who shares rapid regeneration with his father but has little other powers. The dude with a cape is more of a supporting character, but I got into his story as well.

Nila Straese (2017-2018) Most detailed character here. Questionable if she stole too much spotlight from other characters when inventing her. Despite being a newcomer, she still is in center because I poured significant amount of time in animation too. Still chuuni w/dark flames

Annalae (2017-2018) Nila's older half-sister, a powerful ice mage who eventually gets even more Powahhh.... struck a weird pose I guess!

Mellwin Gowrett (2018) -- Aside from Shane, the only "light" character that I got that invested in. Probably one of the most likable characters I've ever written, although he may be more boring in that sense -- which is why his story still isn't that important in the grand scheme.

Heldara Valendorf (2017-2018) -- Another female ice mage, although I made quite a lot of those. She is probably the strongest other than Maira, although in the story she isn't the "complete" descendant...

Lukais (2015-2016) -- I'm not entirely sure why I made him one of the main heroes -- perhaps I just wanted to do more ice mages? In any case one of the main flaws of my 2016 writing, he ended up being too much of a Gary Stu, although he wasn't the main character, his fights sort of became too... dull? Wields seven great ice shards but also excels in hand to hand combat, and plans to bring enlightenment amongst humanity...

Shane Fraude (2009, 2011-2012, 2014-2015) -- I suppose in 2009 he was a random OC named "Schmade". The light mage of one of the series, in the original story (11-12) his story was not fleshed out as well, but in 2014 I had more to write as he is inspired by the ideal of the "straight white man" in America (although he is more secular in his moral reasoning)? Ha. Originally made him more "corrupted" into a twilight version, but ended up not doing so.

Roxie Lamorette (2014-2016) -- Her character didn't really develop the way I wanted it to. Maira's "sidekick", a hybrid fire mage with an airship. I wanted her to have her own story more, but she kinda got out-crowded.

Maira Snow (2011-2012, 2014-2018) -- Originally a minor character in 2012 version of Shade, she turned into the main heroine of the story. The strongest ice mage in the series, but also mentally unstable and sentimental. Still, the fate of the world rested in her hands.

Keida Omaris (2014-2016) Probably the second most prominent heroine of my stories. A wind mage with a dark fate after suffering horrid grief. Originally didn't intend for her to have that big a part in the story, but my personal loss in 2015 kind of made it so.

Gitanxias (2015-2016) -- the strongest of the dragon kings, living underwater, almost takes control of the world. I wish I had fleshed out his story a bit more, but it was difficult to juggle.

Zester (2016-2018) -- Technically a prototype featured in 2013, but her character did change quite a bit. Perhaps she's too minor to be featured, but I suppose she pays homage to Smile Joker/Jester from Lost Saga, and so I gave her that outfit with her balloons.

Oragius (2018) -- skeletal undead dragon, eventually becomes technically most powerful due to his ability to consume energy from his foes. Originally defeated centuries ago, but refused to die underneath the rubble.

Mona (2013-2014, 2016-2018) Originally the shy werewolf was ripped off Lost Saga, but she was still prominent enough in the second version of Zusa. Probably represents a younger me more than anything else, as I also had such social difficulties and depression.

Madeline (2016-2018) Kind of "replaces" Tachi from the original Zusa in 2013. A much more "realistic" character in any case -- most stories would have her as main character and Zusa as the second. I probably could've been more creative with her powers though, but she developed as a lightning mage.

Berta (2017) -- I guess I really liked her design even though she just hung around for around a year. I don't draw curly hair very often. Casts the mists in background within the main story.
Epic Battle Fantasy -- Anna
I'm being mean and using her as a "meatshield" with ninja gear, bunny ears, fairy flair, and evade. Got me a number of achievements on Epic.

Not used to drawing characters with their hair over their eye -- I hope it doesn't look too poor in any case. Hair was overall fun to draw.

Only drew head and shoulders because time constraints really. :P
Brave Flame
Maybe could have made bg darker in general, though would've created an odd glow outlining her twintails. Again, still not the best with flames and effects and such.

I guess still drawing her because I am still edgy and like the black outfit and flames huh...
Kyon Haruhi And Sasaki
Nostalgic af recently. Sort of went with my own style more for Kyon.

Felt like doing moonrunes as well.

Dunno about drawing more Haruhi characters, drawing lighter hair in any case doesn't allow for the shading on paper.


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spiralmaestro Featured By Owner Jul 11, 2018
Happy Birthday!
Ifarisa Featured By Owner Oct 31, 2017  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thank you very much for the :+fav: :hug:
illbecomeyourheroine Featured By Owner Dec 25, 2016  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Hello! You take anime requests?
Candor-Shade Featured By Owner Dec 25, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
Lol -- well, a simple sketch isn't too hard for me but a full color drawing for me (even with no background) takes a while actually! I don't have a money system set up on DeviantART but I would if I could make cash somehow!

Also I am a student so in the case that it can happen I would have to delay/slow things down during midterms/finals week depending on what I have to do for school :P
illbecomeyourheroine Featured By Owner Dec 26, 2016  Hobbyist Digital Artist
spiralmaestro Featured By Owner Jul 11, 2016
Happy Birthday!
krasblak Featured By Owner Mar 16, 2016  Professional General Artist
Thank you for faving :icontinadanceplz:
AikiYun Featured By Owner Feb 13, 2016  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I see what you did there.
Candor-Shade Featured By Owner Feb 13, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
idgaf if you mean well, choose your words carefully will you?
AikiYun Featured By Owner Feb 13, 2016  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Very well. I tried to reconcile but its clear you don't care anymore.

Best of luck to you.
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