Trans people get asked an awful lot of questions by people who want to know about them, but a lot of the time these questions are thoughtless, tactless and rude. Unintentionally for the most part. My good friend kiyobean
linked me to a couple of lists featuring lists of what 'not' to say to transgender people and I found them quite interesting. Just because I'm trans, it doesn't mean I instantly knew all these things were offensive. I've answered these sorts of questions quite a few times in the past just assuming I was somehow obligated to answer them. Reading these little lists really helps me to try and shape intelligent responses to these questions in future.Links:edition.cnn.com/2014/01/15/liv… tranifesto.com/transgender-faq…www.wikihow.com/Respect-a-Tran…
For me it's taken a long time and a lot of reading to put some answers to these questions together in my head, and I've barely put them into practice.
Last week I was faced with these questions from a college at work (whom I had recently befriended and decided to tell about myself.) She is a very nice person, kind and intelligent as well as open minded, yet when I told her I was trans I got this:"You look so real, I never would've known!"
"When did you have 'The Surgery'?"
"What was your name, before?"
"Do you have girl parts or boy parts?"
I admit, I was disappointed being asked these questions once again from someone who I like. However, this time I did a lot better with my answers. I informed her that I don't disclose my previous name at least, but I wish I could have had more conviction with some of the others.
There is always next time, of course. Luckily or unluckily as it is.
Image is © Saku Smith aka CreatoreMagico