I suppose I should explain myself a bit more than I already have. I may have cries for help, I may vent here and there and want help, but I will never accept it. In fact I will run away from it for as long as I can. I've said before, I have self hatred and this unfortunately doesn't allow me to accept help. My previous experiences of asking for help have been pretty bad as well. Anytime I had asked for help as a kid I was shunned, ignored, yelled at or hit for being too stupid to solve the problem all my own. It's discouraged me to ask for help.
Any help I receive now from, may I honestly say, kind and generous people/followers just.. hurts. I know it's not intended to but it does. It makes me realize how pathetic I am. I take every word in as a negative impact on who I am and want to be. I am personally offended and often end up feeling worse than usual. I guess it's my anxiety at work but still.
If it's any justification, yes. I am a dick. I am an asshole, a piece of shit, selfish prick, etc. Or... I can be anyways. When touching on sensitive topics I may behave that way but that's not all there is to me. Don't judge me so quickly by my short temper and snarky attitude. It's only part of a whole. No, I'm not the victim, but still. I felt the need to say.
Anyways, relating to the previous vent, yes. I hid your comments. But that doesn't mean I will never read them. I may read them when I need them most, which isn't right now. Anyways, thank you for reading. Unwatch me if you want, Block me if you feel the need. You can comment whatever here and I will not hide it. I just felt the need to explain.