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:iconbuyolitsezmc:BuyolitsezMC posted a status
I am, the sad.

I can't explain what I feel right now. I normally have my emotions in control but lately they've been rampaging through my mind and I can't seem to do anything about it.

I'm sad about not producing original content and then mad at myself for not doing anything about it. I'm frustrated because I want to trade away a character that I feel uncomfortable with, but at the same time, there's attachment. Meanwhile, I have shit to pay like bills and taxes blah blah life stuff. Then there's my family (who I've personally disowned) calling and yelling at me for being a genderfluid pansexual. They're hardcore religious and I fucking hate it. My mother's threatening me about dragging my ass to church with her to, I dunno, "bless" me or "exorcise" me. I don't really care at this point. I have no friends to turn to. No one that I can trust enough to talk to the full extent of my problems and I feel trapped within my own mind.

I'm so sick of everything life's thrown at me. It seemed like everything was getting better, then suddenly NOOOOOOO!!! I haven't been myself recently. I've been more detached and when I am conscious, I'm aggressive. I fucking yelled at a disabled person in a grocery store yesterday! Like, I would never usually do that cause it's (duh) RUDE. I got looks as if I was disgusting and another woman came up and barked at me. I just can't handle anything anymore and I don't know what to do.

I can't talk to anyone because I don't trust you (no offense). I've already seen 4-5 professionals who said that they can't help because I'm not open enough. Am I really just a lost cause? Anyways, thanks for reading my vent I suppose.

Devious Comments

:icondragongirl2121:
dragongirl2121 Featured By Owner Jul 8, 2017  Student Artist
oh you poor  child

we understand that you wouldnt trust us its todally fine that you dont want to be open. i hope everything gets better for you. keep standing tall mate.
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:iconilovecreativity14:
iLoveCreativity14 Featured By Owner Jul 8, 2017  Hobbyist General Artist
Oh, script..
We all understand and love you no matter what you do. We are always here to help, and we are willing to wait until you feel open enough. ^^ we love you
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:iconpokescream12:
pokescream12 Featured By Owner Jul 8, 2017  Student Writer
Things are rough right now, but it's not the end of the world. You are not a lost cause, you are only stressed and overthinking every little detail about yourself and what you do. And it happens to more people than you think.

It's OK you don't trust me, I don't trust me either. But I've seen this happen too many times to good people. But let me tell you, it's not worth giving up. Life takes this twisted turn, but you have to live life. Experience things you've never seen before. And try to be proud of yourself, I know it's hard. You just need to take time with yourself to cope and learn to accept yourself for who you are. I say, take a break and take things slow. Do things that make you happy and nobody else. If what you do makes you miserable, then you shouldn't do it.
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