narcissistic tendencies

Deviation Actions

Burdenoflove's avatar

Literature Text

Narcissistic Tendencies
Narcissistic Tendencies as I look in the mirror,
Narcissistic tendencies becoming very clear

I look and see what is me and it’s quite a disturbing tendency
Self love so very gray, self obsessed every day

Look in the mirror and touch my face
Nothing I see is a disgrace

Love it all, what I see
All I see is me

Feel the high as others pass on by
They smile and nod
Subconsciously to worship my life

Narcissistic fantasies seem so clear and true
Self obsessed sodomy
Touch to feel all is me

So obsessed all I feel
He touches me and I’m real

The narcissist inside of me
Feels the love of sodomy
self obsession
© 2004 - 2022 Burdenoflove
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juushika's avatar
I can't review this completely, as I'm incapable of reviewing poetry without constructive criticism, but:

"Self obsessed sodomy" has got to be the coolest line I've read in a long time.
HolySpiritWithin's avatar
I kinda liked it and then I didn't. but hey you got an emotion out of me :)
airmega23's avatar
I like the emotions you created. The transformation of emotions at the end of the piece really was special, and it made the poem have a sense of closure. Well done.
I liked the diction and repitition in this piece. It created a very nice emotional effect. The organization of the piece is also very well done. The flow of the poem is a bit weak, mostly due to the lack of puncuation. Linkebreaks however were well spaced in general.

Keep it up