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Kevin the Creeper Pt. 2

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Scene from: "Swappernetters"
Made with: "The Sims 3: Into the Future"


Schemple turned around, finally allowing Hea to return to her cell in peace after lunch was over.  Hea promptly shut the door, but was not totally amused with the ensuing conversation outside.


Schemple: "Ah, yes!  The Bitchy Mermaid!  They've told me about you!"

Jissika: "Great, well here's the deal: she's got family and convictions and history that both sides of your dopeheaded conflict needs her left alone for, for different reasons.  So how about you quit being a bonehead and give her some space?  You wanna pork someone?  I'm a 30-year-old that everyone thinks is still a virgin, on a block full of bawk-bawks that don't like that!  And I ain't talking about Jawknee!  Trust me, I've been around...but I need a way to prove it.  And you're looking like a dandy sample!"

Schemple (smugly): "And I thought Canadians were polite."

Jissika: "Go wrong-hole yourself!"

Schemple: ", not myself!  But, maybe yours!"

Jissika (petting him suggestively): "Oh, do that without lube, and I'd kill you!  But...keep it facing forward, just put me in a bathtub, and I bounce right back!  I'm a Phexo, remember?  I can take what you dish out!  So how about you stop creepy-MILF-ing on the not-quite-40-somethings, huh?"

Schemple: "Any bathtub, or does it have to be full of the bath salts you probably snort?"

Jissika: "You would make a terrible internet troll, silly!  But no.  Salmon can live in freshwater streams too."

Schemple: "If I recall, the Lot's daughters gambit didn't work out so well in the classic scenario."

Jissika: "So you're suddenly a flamer?  Or are you racist against Inuit chicks?"

Schemple: "To be fair, they're usually fatter.  I might have to put you in solitary with your attitude.  Methinks you'll be a problem."

Jissika (flirtatiously): "Let me have my ulus back, and I'll show you what a problem is, mophead!  Or maybe I should let you do anal, so I can say you're as full of it on the outside as you are inside."

She grabbed Schemple and kissed him before letting him speak, in the hopes of making him uncomfortable.  Hea was visibly disturbed by Jissika's aggression, but realized it was a ploy to rescue her.

Jissika (flirtatiously): "Tell you what, boy...we'll flip a coin  I shouldn't have to explain what the sides mean."

Schemple (nervously changing the subject): "And...what of your cousin?  Anarteq, they called him?  And what does that make you, Miss Sundue?  Salmon-Hoe?"

Jissika: "My codename was Nemara, bunghole!  And he'd probably just roll his eyes.  Like the last time I got myself incarcerated when I made life a little harder on your beaver friend!"

Schemple: "Fits."

Jissika: "Sea goddess."

Schemple: "I was thinking: clownfish mixed with a stringy-haired ghost girl.  So we gonna do this or not?"

Jissika: "We flip a coin to determine method.  But keep dissing my codename..."

She leaned forward, to whisper in his ear.

Jissika (flirtatiously):"...and I'll make sure it breaks off inside me!"

Schemple: "Definitely gonna have to move you to solitary, Lorena Bobbit!"

Jissika: "Taking one for the team!"

Hea admired Jissika's willingness to put herself on the line to protect a fellow member of the Order of the Oraphim.  However, she wasn't entirely amused by Jissika's underhanded tactics - nor willingness to prostitute herself. 

Hea (head bowed, whispering to self): "What happened to you, Jissika?  God help her!"

Jissika's ploy worked, however.  She got Schemple fired, and proved her lack of virginity in time to get the old hags on her block to leave her alone - without having to beat anyone up!  Hea had enough problems being held as wartime collateral - a glorified hostage to keep the Sodality from re-assembling!  She didn't need to be dealing with sexual harassment on top of it! 

Even so, Jissika did feel a tinge of guilt over her own methods.  Was this really what she'd been reduced to, ever since the Chrome Kite invaded Canada specifically to capture her and Anarteq for doing in the supervillain Wishpon?  She was happy that her cousin Izzy was still on the loose.  Not so happy that him getting away to fight the good fight as the were-salmon defender of the Canadian wilderness meant that she had to take the fall for him. 

Without her access to streams, Jissika couldn't use her super healing factor.  She also wasn't so gifted without her ulus.  So picking brawls was foolish.  Had to try other tactics to avoid dying.  She missed the open waters, and missed her ability to be openly a were-salmon.  Small price to pay to screw over Rappaccini!  Those Italian Icy Finger pointy-heads always did underestimate the Inuit Resistance.

Martha from third floor (in laundry room, some time later): "You're crazy, Jiss!"

Jissika (self-assuredly): "Everyone underestimates me.  When will they learn?"

Martha: "That was a guard whose life you ruined!  You're lucky they don't whip out the guillotine right now!"

Jissika: "Hmm...they do that?  I guess him and I weren't really that important.  That location sounds very risky...but also kinda hot!"

Martha: " loco!"

Jissika: "I've claimed a gym teacher, a surfer, one of Ciem's old boyfriends - which she's still weirded out about that - a fry cook, a dentist,  a poet...and had about a dozen other attempts that failed.  Freakin' Triumvirate goons kept making the roof cave in and kill the guy, right as I was getting to the good part!"

Martha: "Get help, woman!  I know it sounds hypocritical from me, because I cut the brake lines on the boyfriend's car when I caught him cheating; got issues!"

Jissika didn't protest any further.
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