9/9/2015 ((23 YEARS OLD!))
((24 YEARS OLD!))
To the me of last year on this very same date. You are angry, full of regret and you probably did not deserve all that bad stuff happening to you at one go. but you are also very immature, untried and self-pitying. And I mean it in the kindest way as you are me.
Next year will be your year. it's not gonna be perfect, your heart will get stomped on and you will feel at times like giving up. Wow, gee,thanks, Future-me. You are going to say, with a disgusted roll of your eyes. Really encouraging.
Just stand your ground, be brave, be strong. When you read this, I know you were routinely emotionally messed with with people whom you once called family, whom you once cared for like they were your own family. They repaid your kindness with hatred and jealousy.
You will be crying. Wondering why you inspire hatred in the same people you once virtually cared for like your own sibling from birth. Why you would invite such hate and are so despised, resented for merely existing?
You will learn to give your heart less easily. You will learn that sometimes , some people aren’t worth loving. Love those who love you. That maybe those people never really loved you at all, and you were intact in love with an ideal of them. It is NOT your fault. People will change into strangers. Time has a funny way of doing that and you cannot control and it is not your responsibility or fault for people deciding to take their lives down a spiral.You will grow a spine and learn to stand your ground eventually, as pacifist and non-confrontational as you are and learn to be wiser. Not everything bad happening to people you love is your fault.
Your brother and you will forge a new and better relationship, that I can promise you. He’s kinder, stronger and much wiser than you believe him to be, and much more understanding than you give him credit for.He is not a baby you need to shelter ALL the time but someone you can confide in and him in you. Be nicer to him.
Blood is thicker than water and all that, but you HAVE to unlearn that mentality as some family just is not worth loving.
By the time you read this, I can promise you. You will have found a job. And nope, you will not be in animation… YET. But you probably know this already. BUT listen, it does not mean you have to give up. Your skills are still growing, YOU still need to grow. Also, your skills drawing hands? Yes. This year, by this time, your hands are vaguely…hand-like.And no longer broken cauliflowers.
Your environment artwork still is growing. you will discover that you actually still have so much to learn! And that’s not a bad thing. Girl up, Missy. >:0
The world does NOT owe you a living. I do acknowledge you have had a BAD TIME but what you do to survive , that is part of life. Be patient. Never lose your kindness though. it might gain you some new friends.That’s hard to believe but keep being softhearted and open as you can , even though the world and people seem undeserving and want to turn you harsh.
DON’T. It’s easy. but don’t.
You will find a job. You will bring home money. You will also have to learn to be firm with your parents and let them know your feelings. Love and respect does not equal to utter complete subordination. You have to learn that too. They too will learn that they have to accept you , your interests and the fact you are not like your cousins.And that is not a bad thing and something you cannot control.
You will realise how important your story Out of this World is , still is with your friends. To do what makes you happy and fulfilled and that you WHY should chase it.Because your passion, will make it work. That change only can begin with you.
And that’s a harsh lesson but as weak , as lazy , as self-entitled as you are back then, is a good lesson to learn. Stop whinging that others have it better. You will still whinge from time to time , but you will learn , thankfully , that lesson and learn to appreciate what you have!
Things will get better.
I believe in you.I promise you.Love, the you from the future!