literature

lonely

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Daily Deviation
Daily Deviation
August 6, 2019
Featured by JessaMar
Suggested by LadyLincoln
53 Comments
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Literature Text

figure 1 .          —             ISOLATION .

a girl screams into a sea of people who love her,
but nobody turns nobody looks nobody listens


                 a girl screams into a sea of people,
                 but they don't really love her

                                        a girl screams into a sea,
                                                         the sea,
                                        a girl screams into
                                        a girl
                                        and thinks it is the same thing.



figure 2.          —             GRIEF .

sometimes, i think i am a road block. cracked cement.
the uncomfortable blip you are stuck at before you can arrive at your destination.
sometimes, i think i am rotten mouth rotten hands rotten heart,
acrid and burning. decaying.

sometimes, i think there is a honeybee in my throat and i name him love
love is anaphylaxis, love is the bloom of my throat, the choke of it all,
love is wanting so desperately to get out of the bars in my ribs that it doesn't know what to do with itself.
it dies there, i think. something dies, there.

         sometimes i pretend there is a bee in my throat named love so i can justify how much it all hurts.


figure 3.          —             SOLITUDE .

i can't sleep anymore because i don't know how to turn off my brain.
the moon says, if they do not love you that is their loss but it still feels like mine.
i don't tell her that, but it still feels like mine.

i am a lonely the sound of a tv will not fix. i am a lonely that cannot be slept away.
i am a lonely i can feel in the way i wheeze,
waterlogged lungs for a girl, the girl ( see : fig. 1) who screamed into the sea
but it never meant anything, anyway.  
a girl chokes (see : fig. 2) bumblebees and seaweed,
fills herself with seasap enough to fill all the holes.

i am a lonely. i am that lonely. sea lonely, mariana's trench deep.
the sting of a honeybee to the trachea. the seasap fills nothing.
                                                   nobody calls.

a girl ( see : fig. 1. see : me) screams into the sea and it welcomes her.
nobody turns. nobody looks. nobody listens.
                                                 eventually, she drowns, too.
i was going to make this three separate pieces that linked together but i posted them all here 

i'm: sad
Published:
© 2019 - 2021 brokenfragilethings
Comments52
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CouchSessions's avatar

I am not good at commenting on poetry, but I felt the need to tell you that I understand that kind of lonely and sometimes, the drowning is only temporary. <3 I hope that's true for you.


Wonderful, wonderful poem.

brokenfragilethings's avatar

this made me very warm. thank you!

CouchSessions's avatar

I am glad to hear it. :heart: I have just re-read this poem, as I had quite forgotten what I had commented on to deserve such a reply. If you don't mind terribly, I would like to send it to my sister. She has just suffered a pretty big breakup, and I think it would do her good to know her feelings are understandable.

brokenfragilethings's avatar
i’ve just gone through a heartache myself very very recently, so my heart double goes out to your sister. i’m so sorry for her heartbreak, it’s such a painful kind of still-longing. i’m rooting for her. and i would be honored if you wanted to send it to her omg!! thank you for asking. absolutely feel free. i’m keeping her heart in my thoughts ❤️
Octopusmonkey's avatar
I really felt this one, thank you for all of your imagery.
brokenfragilethings's avatar
GuinevereToGwen's avatar
Terribly beautiful. Terribly relatable. :tighthug:
Bibi-chu's avatar
Ahh, I love this so much !! :')
GDeyke's avatar
I love this. I'm terrible with poetry, but I seriously love this.
brokenfragilethings's avatar

i'm sure you're not terrible : )


thank you for this!

PoetsHand's avatar
You keep getting better and better!
Tinselfire's avatar
I don't get it.

But I still like it enough that I've been trying to since yesterday.
brokenfragilethings's avatar

this is one of the best comments i've received, honestly.

thank you for trying.

if you need or want an additional explanation, i'd be happy to provide : )

Tinselfire's avatar

I'd love to, thank you. I got trouble wrapping my head around freeform poetry, but trying to learn.


Speaking of trying to learn, had a discussion with... oh, it was a while ago, think it was with @YouInventedMe - on freeform poetry. Came up with the idea of the avoidance of obvious structure in freeform as a form of "insulation", that avoiding creating rhytm upsets the reader's thought process, allowing one to operate closer to the essence of emotionally difficult material without the disturbing aspects getting traction.

Would that seem to make sense?

chaseawaythedark's avatar
Wow, this amazing...
Nimbue's avatar
Ok...this is amazing.  This is beyond brilliant.  I commend you for writing something so powerful, yet still so relatable...I definitely felt every word of this...honestly, this is one of those pieces where you question whether or not the author is inside your own mind...I'll be coming back to read this one...a lot.  
brokenfragilethings's avatar

oh my goodness, these are such lovely words.


thank you so, so much for reading my work!

Octopusmonkey's avatar
Yes this is how I felt as well. :)
LindArtz's avatar
This leaves the reader feeling, at the end, as empty and futile, as is felt at the beginning.    Those feelings... of 'no way out of this',... I'd say you've conveyed those feelings exceedingly well! :iconclap;!!!

Very nicely done!!

Congratulations on your much deserved DD!  :)!

For My Personal Use DO NOT USE!!! by LindArtz


brokenfragilethings's avatar

thank you so very much!

LadyLincoln's avatar
Congratulations on your DD, dear soul.  I hope it brightens your day.  Love you bunches! :heart:
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