literature

lies my mama told me

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Daily Deviation
Daily Deviation
September 23, 2018
lies my mama told me by brokenfragilethings
Featured by akrasiel
Suggested by LadyLincoln
39 Comments
2K Views

Literature Text

"the heart can't break more than once."

but it can, mama. sometimes
it feels like splinters poking
from between my ribs
wood chips digging into my stomach
over, and over, and over

just the other day i saw a man
who looked like daddy
spin his daughter around
and i felt it break in my throat

three weeks ago i watched my girl
kiss a boy's rough mouth
and i felt it break in my toes

the heart breaks more than once, mama
i feel it all the time, i feel it all the time.

sometimes i think it's always breaking, mama.
sometimes i think it's always breaking.

/

"monsters aren't real."

i'm sorry, mama, i know
you didn't want them to be, for me,
i know you wanted them to be furry
and big and full of sharp teeth,
pressed into pages of storybooks.

but they're real, mama,
just the other day i saw a mama
raise a hand to her child in the middle of the grocery store,
a monster tucked into the corner of her mouth

monsters are in the watchful eye of a hungry man
slipping rohypnol into your drink,
the press of his hands to your knees.

monsters are just people, mama,
in them like some sort of possession,
but no exorcism can get them out.
monsters are just people, mama.
monsters are just people.

/

"you'll settle down with a nice boy."

this one was on me, mama.
i couldn't picture the white picket fence,
the three children, the dinner table.
baking apple pie and crying into my dish towel
when no one was around.

see, i don't want to settle, mama,
not for a nice boy, or a set of twins,
or a house so cold and empty
it's like no one really lives there.

i want to kiss a girl on the mouth and not
feel bad about it. i want to walk home
at 3 in the morning with my heels still on.
i want to kiss a boy and then maybe
another girl and i don't want to settle.

i don't want to settle.
i know you don't understand that, mama.
so this lie was on me.
sorry.

/

"everything's okay, honey."

but is it, mama?
you shoulder the world like atlas, like
being a mother means you have to know
everything, understand everything,
handle everything.

you settled like i don't want to, mama,
don't you get it? you keep your pain
in your body, you are held together
by a red apron, a pair of hand towels.

everything's not okay, mama,
daddy yells too loud, like thunder,
a boom that sits in my chest, your chest,
contained because we never
say anything. because it's all okay.

it's not okay, not the way your bones ache
or the way my head spins, the lump
in my throat, the pain in my body.
your body. the way you reach
for something better but never
quite touch. the way you keep trying.

aren't you tired, mama?
i know you're tired, mama.

/

"baby, i'll never leave you."

but you will, mama.
you will.
a bit of a longer piece.

this is kind of all over the place 

--

edit : gosh ! a DD ! for a piece i really considered all over the place. i'm so happy it's been moving people. this really means a lot : ) 
Published:
© 2018 - 2021 brokenfragilethings
Comments39
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clancymmm's avatar
What an amazing piece of writing. I loved it. You made this so real and so true. Loved loved it. 🌻
brokenfragilethings's avatar
thank you so, so much! i'm so glad you enjoyed my writing!
xfuture-boundx's avatar
i just love this !!!!!!
"and i felt it break in my throat" reminds me of when you're choked up and can't speak and that's such a pretty way to express that
i also rly love "a monster tucked into the corner of her mouth" - just !!!! tucked is perfect there and omg it's so good
brokenfragilethings's avatar
yeah! that was the. intended imagery so im SO glad you saw it !!

thank you. thank you so much!! this is so sweet and so incredibly motivating !!!
comatose-comet's avatar
this is absolutely stunning.
brokenfragilethings's avatar
thank you so very much!
JessaMar's avatar
I often have a hard time with longer poems, but this one, I couldn't stop reading.  It is well-crafted, elegant and earthy at the same time.
brokenfragilethings's avatar
i'm so happy to hear that you were able to read through this! that means so much. thank you!
Cometswirl16's avatar
This is so beautiful! The last stanza really got me. 
brokenfragilethings's avatar
thank you so much ! i'm happy it moved you.
Lycaenyx's avatar
there is so much going on in this piece but it all fits and flows well from one section to the next.  wonderful piece :heart:
brokenfragilethings's avatar
thanks so much for saying that ! i really appreciate it : )
brokenfragilethings's avatar
Championx91's avatar
You're welcome! :love:
LindArtz's avatar
The last stanza brought a lump to my throat... the whole thing.  :heart:!!    Very nicely done.

Congratulations on your much deserved DD!  :)
For My Personal Use DO NOT USE!!! by LindArtz
brokenfragilethings's avatar
this is so very sweet, thank you so much ! i'm glad it made you feel something : )
CharlotteDrawz's avatar
That's so sad
And so true:
My heart broke more than once
And I'm sure it will again
Monsters are real
The demons in my head, and the people who helped put them there
I most likely won't settle with a nice boy
Why would a nice boy want me?
Not much is okay
Not for me 
Everybody will surely leave me at some point
Then I'll be alone
I'm sure of it
brokenfragilethings's avatar
i hope you hang in there. i may have wrote this piece, and we may get told a decent amount of lies when we're young to keep us hopeful, but that doesn't mean everything is bad : ) 

you will be loved, you are loved, and you won't be alone. i'm sure of it !
LadyLincoln's avatar
Congratulations on your DD, darling girl. I still adore this piece, and hope others see the beauty in it too. :tighthug: :heart:
brokenfragilethings's avatar
you're always making me emotional 😭😭😭😭

thank you for always supporting my writing — i'm always so shocked, as you are such a gifted, talented, and hard working artist, and it just really means so much to me that you even read my pieces. thank you infinitely, i really cant express how much it means to me. 

i adore you !!! thank you for liking this enough to suggest it, gosh. i'm truly honored. 

💖💖💖💖💖💖
LadyLincoln's avatar
I have held onto this message because it warmed my heart so dearly, and you are more than welcome, love. 

You will always have all my love and support! 
Rose icon.8 by RedqueenAllison
brokenfragilethings's avatar
YOU warm my heart to be honest !!! i'm happy i could leave a little something that did the same for you.

thank you always <3
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