Episode 1 part 41: God I Miss Him

Rainbow Dash: Okay, seriously. Why the hay did you play back that creepy demon recording?

Bug: I’ve got a case of PISD! Post-insecticide stress disorder! It keeps causing flashbacks!

Fluttershy: How so?

Bug: I get a whiff of something familiar, and the memories just come rushing back!

Sam: Musta been some brimstone in the air during that exorcism.

Max: Oh, was that brimstone? This whole time I just assumed you’d let out a 200 pound fart.

Sam: No. It was brimstone, honest.

Twilight Sparkle: Yeah, Max. And let’s not think about that, ever😠.

Spike the Dragon: So how long have you had this weird flashback disorder?

Bug: Ever since my company tried and failed to take Hamburger Hill!

Applejack and Max: In ‘nam?

Pinkie Pie: And then what?! Tell us tell us tell us😀!

Bug: Negative! Hamburger Hill behind the burger buddies on West 5th! The place reeked of Pheromones. Charlie was using… roach motels. Roach motels!

Rainbow Dash: What other memories you got recorded😠?

Max: I wanna hear him talk like zombie George Burns. I’ll go get some cigars and formaldehyde.

Bug: Get away from me! I don’t want to aggravate my condition.

Pinkie Pie: Come on, tell us what other memories you have recorded.

Rarity: I might give you a handkerchief with a lovely aroma of a flower scented perfume.

Max: Here, smell this…

Bug: Get away from me! I don’t want to aggravate my condition.

Twilight Sparkle: You already said that.

Applejack: Wait. Ya really don’t get along with yer family?

Bug: Negative! Except for my dad, they’re all a bunch of spineless ladybugs!

Fluttershy: Aren’t all bugs spineless?

Bug: Not in my regiment! If you didn’t have a spine, by God my dad would make you grow a pair!

Rarity: A pair of spines?

Bug: That’s just the kind of bug he was! Senseless and brutal. God, I miss him.

Sam: What happened to your dad?

Bug: You really wanna know?

Max: No, not really.

Rarity: Actually, yes. Yes we do😒.

Bug: It was our toughest battle yet. We’d secured our positions in a heavily fortified dumpster, when suddenly… they came out of nowhere!

Applejack: Who?

Bug: The cleaning crew! Cleaning crew!

Fluttershy: That’s awful.

Max: Attacking with sanitation… that’s just plain dirty.

Bug: The smell of bleach was overpowering. We all would’ve gone thorax-up if it hadn’t been for my dad. I still remember his last words: “Move out, maggots!” God, he was concise. *sob* Gets me every time.

Max: Every time😏?

Spike the Dragon: Max, show some respect😠!