Changed *pre 2013*Shes dead, that makes me a murderer now doesn't it?
Oh its ok because this is the type of murder no one will notice or even care about really. Yes i know i have a few screws loose.
The me i killed was years ago, sweet innocent just a molecule of what i am then multiply that by uncorrupted joy & happiness.
So yes she was 'good' better than myself i suppose.
How'd she go you might wonder?
It wasn't painful not in my opinion i choked her.
I let her fade into nothingness.
If she isnt gone then i dont care if she is a figment of my subconciousness.
The only part that angers me now is that my parents want her back.
They dont seem to understand but they havent the slight clue about the deadly maze that is my mind.
They say things & do things that enrage me, because theyre trying to bring her back. I rule this kingdom now.
The weak one had her chance.
So now im the ruler & i shall stay.
She's gone for good.
Alone (BAK) *pre 2013*In my dark room where no one can see
But if you can that's where you'll find me,
Some have tried to seek me out but I hid further away.
Because I was afraid of what I could have seen
In the light, where all the surprises lie
Because when you're in the darkness
you have nothing to fear but fear it self
For it's only as scary as you make it seem,
I'm here waiting just for the right person
to just come along and take me with them.
Because I'm alone in a place where the eyes are deceived,
the ears get tricked,
and your nose HA! is useless.
So here I am sitting by myself alone in the cold.
"Where is here?" you ask to tell the truth I don't know.
Since you've heard me out I think you might be the one so come in.
I guess what I'm trying to tell you is that I'm tried of being alone
and I'm finally ready to take on the light
Just let it shine because it's going to blow my mind.
I owe you my life and thank you for you risked your own for a stranger you kind person.
I'll soak in light's warmth an
Chaos' Toy (BAK) *pre 2013*life is complicated
i hate it
the emotions make things miseriable
and terribly difficult.
I never understood how to be
"true to yourself" because frankly who doesnt
lie to themselves about things.
Its almost immpossible to be completly
honest to yourself.
Because YOU know what YOU wanna hear!
Another thing is everyone isnt always honest
with you either!
Its hard to have real friends,
Theyre hard to find,
And you sure as heck cant really make 'em anymore!
I hate this, Life loves throwin me curve balls im already
insane i dont need a push!
The Chaos Cat is watching with a grin for i
am his ball of Yarn!
This equation doesnt add it never did but
these problems keep rising up everythime i fall!
It as though i can not win at all.
Lies Lead to Lonliness (BAK) *pre 2013*Some say time heals all wounds well i beg to differ with that!
you sit there & sit there & think about whatever it is was more & more
which makes it worse and that helps nothing!
Others say when you start a lie you end up weaving a web i say thats quite incorrect as well.
or that person just sucked at lying & got caught early in their process
when you start lying you start falling off a cliff into a deep dark trench.
sure you hit a legde climb onto it thinking ur safe now but it.
isnt it cracks & crumbles
it gets lonesome.
yes it does this trench is your mind your own personal prison.
you cant run
you cant escape.
you can call for help but whats the use
no ones rope of support they toss you is never long enough
or moving fast enough to catch you.
Lonliness isnt a "a stone in the stomach"
its a dang bullet to the chest
an arrow to the heart.
thats barely a comparision but its close enough.
dang it lonliness is the bars that go around
Invisible Kid (BAK) *pre 2013*Invisible Kid (BAK) *pre 2013*
Here's the story of a foolish girl
She got tired of ponies
Seeing, hearing, and even touching her.
So she wished for invisibility.
Then she was lonely,
Her thoughts a drone:
"I see them but
They don't see me.
I speak but
They feel air.
I touch but
I am not there.
No one can help me,
Nor can they hurt me
Because to them I don't exist,
Not now not ever.
Oh what I would give to be seen again."
I would know how she feels,
For this foolish girl
Alas was me.
Voices (BAK)*pre 2013*VoicesVoices (BAK)*pre 2013*
Voices are something we all have.
Whether one inspires another
Or, one says great things to try to bring peace,
or solve a life-changing mystery.
But not everyone can speak with their mouth
some use their hands,
others their paintings,
their writings or
Just any way to be heard by everyone else in this ignorant world
with their own special kind of voice.
The problem that saddens me is that most of those with voices don't use them.
Because of their fear and fright
that may trouble them each night.
So why don't they just speak up and tell us what the problem is?
Don't you see that's where we cut the wire
because we may lecture too much and listen too little?
So wherever they are they've been scorned
by those who try to help them.
So listen more when someone needs to tell you something important
you might be one of the first to help them.
Like some have for me