Fight Report with Ernie Saltz
V-Day in L.A.
February 18, 2018 - Los Angeles Memorial Sports Arena, Los Angeles, California
After Tania left, I headed backstage hopefully to get a word with both the winner and the loser of the epic nude foxy slugfest the crowd had just witnessed. I found both fighters in the triage section, still naked draped only in their ring robes as they engaged in friendly chatter while getting worked on by the medical staff. It was kind of funny seeing they were so friendly especially after trying to take each others' heads off for a full six rounds of hard slugging action.
"Good fight tonight, bitch. You pounded me pretty good out there." Betty said. "Better bring your A-game whenever we get a rematch."
"You too, bitch." Katie replied. "Lookin' forward to it."
The medic finished up the tape job on Katie's left brow, stopping the trickle of blood while the fighter held an icepack up to her right cheek, swollen after a few too many wicked Busty Betty left hooks. Katie was instructed to hit the showers and get some rest.
Betty was still leaning back in obvious pain and discomfort as they stitched those nasty cuts over both brows up, the left eye looked especially bad due to the awful swelling underneath. That and the purpling discoloration of the raised welts on her massive breasts and torso indicated that she was in pretty rough shape after this fight. Still Betty managed to crack a little smile when she saw me enter the room despite being quite a bit worse for wear.
"Hello ladies. Really entertaining fight out there tonight. Mind if I get a quick interview in?"
"Sure," they both replied in unison and shrugged their shoulders.
"Katie, dominant performance down the stretch. I've seen you lose some back and forth brawls to Betty in the past. What was the difference tonight?"
"I've gotten a helluva lot better. Ever since I got with Valerie and her crew, I've been damn near unstoppable. Turned my foxy boxing career around. I've been able to take Betty the last couple of meetings now along with the rest of my last 9 opponents and that's catapulted me into the top 10!"
Her exuberance was contagious. I had to follow up, "If Betty wants another crack at you will you grant her another rematch?"
"She wants it again, she can get it. I'm delivering a beatdown to anybody who wants one. Especially that bitch Stephanie after what she did tonight. Superstar, my ass! She's gettin' the beating of her friggin' life real soon."
"Alright congrats again, and thanks for your time."
"No problem, Mr. Saltz. Thank you." She said before turning to Betty giving her friend a quick hug and heading down the hall to the showers.
"Tough night." I said to Betty as the medic kept working.
"I got my ass kicked," Betty replied honestly. "Katie was on her game tonight. Just beat me to the punch all night. Even when I got some brutal shots in and was trying to build momentum, she'd answer back with three or four quick punches."
"Well what's next for you?"
"Plastic surgery." Betty replied half jokingly with a snicker. "A CAT scan first per the doctor's orders when I get back to Florida. I took a lot of shots to the head in this one. Then a little nip and tuck from my surgeon for these nasty eye cuts, and I should be in the gym training serious in like 2-3 months. Get ready for my next fight. Can't cry over a loss. Gotta keep going, right?"
"I suppose so." Busty Betty was a foxy boxing machine, that was still clear. "Who you got in mind next? From what I heard both you and Katie get your choice of opponents for the next big card."
Betty sighed. "Furthest thing from my mind right now. I'll think on it for a few weeks. Right now if you'll excuse me, I'm still a bit woozy. Promise you a more in depth interview during the next show or if you're ever in Miami."
"OK. Thanks for your time, Betty. I know you will bounce back soon."
Heading back to my luxury box seat after the interview I lost track of time. The house lights eventually dimmed and Three 6 Mafia's "It's a Fight" played over the loudspeakers. Coming out in a black and silver robe, surrounded by cornermen was the Black Diamond herself. Judging from the hooks and uppercuts she threw the entire length of the ring, Diamond was warmed up and ready to go. She jogged up the steps and hit the ring, pummeling the nearest turnbuckle like it was her next opponent.
The crowd responded but it was not good enough for the egotistical Diamond, who threw back her hood and started taunting the crowd from the second rope. "You scream your heads off for them fat, old, bitches but you just clap an' shit for me? I'm gonna show you who the real fight is!"
Her music faded away as the blaring guitar and booming drums of Guns N' Roses "Welcome to the Jungle" screamed over the sound system. Jungle Jane ran out from the back, outpacing her trainers and storming the ringside area. She ditched her leopard skin robe halfway up the ring steps, grabbed the top rope and vaulted her impressive frame clean over the ropes and landed spryly on her feet.
Black Diamond tried to go for her right then, but her own trainers held her back. Jungle Jane was not intimidated, she paced like a big tanned cat as her own trainers finally got to the ring. Diamond got her robe off, not wanting to wait for the introductions.
Despite her the announcer climbed into the ring and did his job. "This contest, ladies and gentlemen, is your main event of the evening and the winner will be the recognized number one contender in the world today.
"Fighting out of the red corner, wearing the black gloves and boots with the silver trim is one of the most feared competitors in professional boxing today. Standing 5'8" and weighing in a powerful 148lbs. she has amassed an impressive professional record of 22 wins and no loses, with 20 victories by knockout. Coming all the way to us from Detroit, Michigan, please welcome the number three ranked fighter in the world today, Dominique "Black Diamond" Davis!"
Sans robe, with her sheen of body oil, sweat and skin-tone she did shine like a black diamond in the ring.
"And her opponent, fighting out of the blue corner, wearing the leopard print gloves and boots, this stunning specimen of womanhood comes originally from Tampa, Florida but currently lives and trains in the deepest, darkest, unexplored jungle. This six year veteran of the ring has amassed a record of 33 wins with only 4 losses, 3 draws and 26 wins have come by way of knockout. She is widely recognized as one of the best foxy boxers to never hold the World Championship. She stands a towering 5'10" and weighs a trim 147lbs. Please welcome the number two ranked competitor in the world today; put your hands together for Jungle Jane!"
With the introductions over, both fighter returned to their corners. They expected the non-combatants to clear, but the announcer did not.
"Ladies and gentlemen, if I could hold your attention for just one minute there has been a slight change of plan. There will be a special guest referee officiating this fight; Please welcome former World Champion in topless and traditional boxing, and a licensed referee by the California State Boxing Commission. Originally from Linden, New Jersey she now resides in Los Angeles, please welcome Tania "Stay Lo" Louis!"
I held my breath as she walked to the ring wearing little more than black ring boots. She smiled widely and waved to the crowd. As he climbed the steps I could see Tania Louis comically wore detached cuffs and a collar with a bowtie, without the accompanying tuxedo or underwear. She somehow wore and outfit of formal nudity. It was also nice to see she was still in shape.
Tania took the microphone from the announcer. "Just so there is no question to the outcome of this fight, I have decided to officiate it myself. Both fighters were briefed on the rules back stage, the rules have not changed. Touch gloves and come out fighting."
Black Diamond looked a little irate. She was not expecting this. But rather than complain she just took the offered mouthguard and prepared to fight.
The bell rang and Black Diamond stepped to the middle. Jungle Jane circled the outside, throwing punches and keeping her distance with footwork. It was a sound strategy, especially against a powerhouse like Black Diamond. Diamond tried to work her way inside, but Jungle Jane would dance away as fast as she came. It looked like a classic opening round, two opponents feeling each other out; but when looked at with a more discerning eye you could see the chess game developing. These were two professionals, well studied in tapes of the other's matches. Each woman had a battle plan and they would stick to it until it was time to go off script. The occasional jab to the face or glancing blow would not dissuade either of them. This would be a strategic fight.
The second and third rounds followed the same script; attack, deflect, retreat, chase, and attack again. While it was repetitive the crowd never seemed to get bored, each step of the dance turned up the tension. At some point one or the other would make a mistake. The question was who would misstep first?
It seemed to be Jane.
The leggy blonde woman accidentally stepped into a punch to the ribs. Black Diamond followed up with a few more shots to the belly that backed Jane up to the ropes, punishing her mid-section. Diamond threw an overhand right that Jungle Jane barely sidestepped. Jane spun and fired off a jab that caught Diamond squarely in the face. It was nothing Diamond hadn't taken twenty times in the fight already, but this time Jane did not dance away. Instead she fired off three crisp jabs and a right cross that snapped Diamond's head back painfully.
Stunned by the turn of events Black Diamond tried to punch her way off the ropes. Jane retreated, throwing out a series of jabs that mostly connected. All of Diamond's punches went wide, making her look as foolish as she took additional jabs to the face.
The bell rang signaling the end of the round. Jane returned to her corner, Black Diamond stared her down, kissing her glove and slapping her ass to show Jane what she could do. The blonde ignored her and went about getting her between round instructions.
Things went the same as before in the fifth round, Jane working the bicycle from the outside and Diamond trying to minimize it with head movement. She came in bobbing and weaving as much as she could, but Jane stuck to the script and did not get greedy. Their clashing philosophies were showing, Jane willing to win by decision and Diamond craving a knockout. Unfortunately this left Black Diamond getting increasingly frustrated as she was taking far more punches than she was giving back. At this rate she would wear out before getting her chance at a big combo. Jungle Jane was willing to take a hard hit but would retreat before taking any more. The fight was going well in Jane's favor.
That all changed in the sixth. It started out the same, but Diamond stopped leading with the heavy stuff. Instead she just stepped inside and moved her head, keeping her guard up the whole time. Jane fired away and retreated like the big shots were coming, but Black Diamond never loaded up a heavy fist. Instead she jabbed low. Jungle Jane backed up like a big body blow was coming, but Diamond closed and threw another low jab. Puzzled, Jane continued to throw out stiff shots that now bounced off Black Diamond's guard. Diamond simply jabbed back.
Jungle Jane became emboldened. Diamond must be tiring. She sucked up a lot of jabs for the first five rounds and had nothing to show for it. With all those big swings never hitting a target, maybe the young bruiser was finally starting to wane? She was covered in sweat. Perhaps it was time to turn up the heat?
Jungle Jane threw a combination of hooks at Black Diamond's head. The first connected but she ducked the second, came up and inside Jane's guard and the pummeling began. Diamond unloaded with a series of short hooks to the breasts and belly. Each was so hard they made a sickening sound of leather slapping on wet skin. She backed up Jane with the force of each blow. Jane tried to retreat but Black Diamond was on her like a shark that smelled blood.
The crowd roared.
With Jane up on the ropes Diamond unloaded, doubling the woman over with a shot to the gut and standing her back up with a fierce uppercut. Jane was rocked. Black Diamond threw a wild right, one that looked hard enough to take the blonde's head off. At the last instant Jungle Jane managed to jerk her chin back and avoid the haymaker; Diamond pulled in the arc from her punch and connected with a hard elbow to Jungle Jane's jaw.
Tania Louis threw herself in-between the fighters. "What was that!?!" She yelled into Diamond's face.
"Git' the fuck out the way!" Diamond grit through her mouthguard as she dodged around Louis and went after the barely standing Jane.
Tania jumped in front, she was the referee and she would give the instructions. "Neutral corner. Now!" She pointed at where she wanted Diamond to go.
"Fuck you..." Black Diamond clearly mumbled as she turned her back on the ref and went to the corner.
The ring doctor checked Jungle Jane out. She was clearly dazed but ready to continue. Tania Louis deducted a point from the judge's scorecard for the 'accidental' elbow and the fight continued.
Things did heat up from there. Jane managed to fight her way out of the sixth and seventh, but a renewed Black Diamond chased her with more ferocity than ever. In the eighth round it finally caught up to Jane.
Black Diamond slipped under a jab and came up with an uppercut that nearly burst Jungle Jane's left tit. She followed with a right cross to Jane's nose that sent her stumbling backwards. Bouncing off the ropes Jane tried to throw a cross of her own but caught a massive left hook square in the solar plexus. The force of the blow was such that in slow motion replay it seemed to collapse the blonde's chest cavity as both breasts and chin pulled inward and downward like a meteor striking a mountain range.
A follow up right hook to the jaw was all it took to put Jungle Jane on the canvas.
"Get up!" Black Diamond yelled like a sadistic Muhammad Ali. "I am not done with you yet you blonde-ass bitch!"
Tania Louis jumped in-between and pointed Black Diamond to a neutral corner.
With a grunt she went, but not without a tongue lashing for the special referee. "What's a' matter Tania? Scared I'm gonna break your Barbie doll?"
Jungle Jane managed to be standing by the eight count. Even from this skybox I could see the regret on Tania Louis' face as she signaled for the fight to continue.
There wasn't much fight left however. Jane was breathing heavy, bleeding from the nose, barely standing. Black Diamond came in like a bull. Backing the top contender to the corner she unloaded with a flurry of blows to the tits and pussy. Jane screamed. Diamond was not going for the K.O., Diamond was trying to humiliate Jungle Jane. Tania Louis couldn't do anything about it either as by bare-naked brawl rules such attacks were completely legal. On the street it would be sexual assault but here in the ring it was fair game. Black Diamond beat Jungle Jane like a drum until she got tired and threw a right hook that sent Jungle Jane back to the mat. Tania put a stop to it and called for the bell. Jane could not defend herself anymore. It was a merciful decision.
Tania called for the ring doctor and announcer. Black Diamond took the long way to the corner and 'accidentally' bumped into Tania Louis.
"What do you think 'bout that? Main event level beatdown or not?"
Tania set her jaw. I knew her well enough to know she didn't like getting punked out like this in public, but she was the official for this bout. Any retaliation would clearly be met with a lawsuit. Instead she lifted Black Diamond's hand and signaled her the victor as the crowd cheered.
Tania leaned over and whispered something into Diamond's ear before leaving the ring.
Black Diamond was laughing as Tania made her way up the aisle. She pounded her breasts with her gloved fists like a gorilla. "Anytime you want it Stay Lo! You know where I am! Come and get it!"
I left the box, heading back to the bowels of the Arena. I found Tania in her dressing room, getting past the guard with my all-access pass.
There was the former world champion, drinking whiskey and balling her fists in anger at the mirror. I almost didn't want to disturb her, but she looked over her shoulder at me, "You have to know, don't you Ernie?"
"Professional curiosity," I added. "What did you say to Diamond that set her off?"
"I said I could beat her in five rounds."
And that fight-fans, is all the news that's fit to print.