Sitting in silence
Waiting for a sound
Some kind of sign that you are around.
Waiting in the darkness
Hoping for your light
The silence is deafening.
I just want to hear your voice
I want to know that you're okay
I want to know that we're okay
I hate the silence
Paranoia
It takes over me.
It's hard to express my thoughts into words
To put memories into verses and light up this page
It's been so long since you left my arms
And I can't seem to fill the hole in my heart.
I've got to find a way to close you off,
To switch off every thought and feeling,
I don't know where I'm going anymore
Without you in my life.
I've loved you unconditionally
I've betrayed you more than I care to admit
We've broken each others hearts over and over again
Only yours seems to be repaired.
I guess all I want to know is where I stand
Or what I ever meant to you
I refuse to admit I was a faze or a fling
But I guess I'll never really know.
There's a
I wake each day with you on my mind,
Picturing your smile and hearing your laugh,
As your eyes look at me,
And your lips form the words,
That take me away.
My world seems incomplete without you in it,
My day doesn't start until I've said good morning to you,
My happiness almost relies on you,
You're the one who... Completes me.
I'll never understand why it was me that you chose,
With all my flaws and the mistakes I've made,
But I won't question why,
I'll smile with you by my side,
You're the reason I'm alive.
I love you truly,
My heart is yours,
I want your hand in mine,
I want you by my side,
To be my lover and my wife,
Th
Letter To The Woman I used to Love. by bonecollector101, literature
Letter To The Woman I used to Love.
To the one I used to love;
By now I've probably left some form of mark on you in the form of all the brutal things I've written in your name, and I feel ashamed that I've written such things. I won't apologize, because there isn't any point. I was angry, I was hurt, and I hated you. Or at least, I wanted to.
These last 6 months have been the hardest I've faced in my life. In the scheme of things probably nothing. I imagine you've had it pretty breezy, with support from all your friends and family... diving into your world of Guild Wars and music. I'm happy you found your support, but I never really had any of my own.
I've faced 6 months al
Peace, Silence, Darkness by bonecollector101, literature
Peace, Silence, Darkness
The face of anger
The face of pain
The heart that says I won't be doing that again
The awkward silence
I can't get any peace
Quietly brewing those voices in my head
Watching you
Waiting for failure
Keeping myself afloat
Hoping you'll feel pain
Tearing down walls
Letting in the darkness
Dwelling makes it worse
Pain becomes my own.
Can't think about it anymore
Causes too much stress
I can't get it out of my head
It's buried to far down.
Why?
Can't I let it go?
Why?
Can't we see past the hatred.
Why has it consumed me
Why has it doomed me
Is this all I've become?
Have I really come undone?
I can't pick up the pieces
I can't find my peace
No mat
There isn't enough bourbon in the world
That could drown you out of my mind
The memories and the disappointment
The times I was out of line.
As I crack another stubbie
I turn the track up louder,
I try to tell myself it's over
Euphoria washes over.
It's well established that its over
Whatever love I had is gone
It's not that I'm dwelling on a love lost
But that I had a friend that betrayed me.
You don't see it
I think it's more that you don't care
I know there's no point trying
Because you think it's all my fault.
Dwelling on the things I did wrong by you,
I guess you could say I have a lot to answer for
But you allowed yourself to become
Suffering for others by bonecollector101, literature
Suffering for others
All my friends in far off places
similar suffering, different faces
Making their lives however they choose, not knowing what they have... what they're willing to lose...
You all part of what makes me who I am.
I watch your pain, I make it mine
I swallow it up, I take that time
It becomes part of me, what makes me see
What it takes to live your life.
I hate seeing the pain, I want it gone
I would happily take it off you to see the smiles on your faces.
I want to be your heroes, I want to make you happy
Because thats the way I am.
Call me crazy, call me stupid,
But your lives are worth living... I wish I was half of what you all are...
You'r
Sitting in silence
Waiting for a sound
Some kind of sign that you are around.
Waiting in the darkness
Hoping for your light
The silence is deafening.
I just want to hear your voice
I want to know that you're okay
I want to know that we're okay
I hate the silence
Paranoia
It takes over me.
It's hard to express my thoughts into words
To put memories into verses and light up this page
It's been so long since you left my arms
And I can't seem to fill the hole in my heart.
I've got to find a way to close you off,
To switch off every thought and feeling,
I don't know where I'm going anymore
Without you in my life.
I've loved you unconditionally
I've betrayed you more than I care to admit
We've broken each others hearts over and over again
Only yours seems to be repaired.
I guess all I want to know is where I stand
Or what I ever meant to you
I refuse to admit I was a faze or a fling
But I guess I'll never really know.
There's a
I wake each day with you on my mind,
Picturing your smile and hearing your laugh,
As your eyes look at me,
And your lips form the words,
That take me away.
My world seems incomplete without you in it,
My day doesn't start until I've said good morning to you,
My happiness almost relies on you,
You're the one who... Completes me.
I'll never understand why it was me that you chose,
With all my flaws and the mistakes I've made,
But I won't question why,
I'll smile with you by my side,
You're the reason I'm alive.
I love you truly,
My heart is yours,
I want your hand in mine,
I want you by my side,
To be my lover and my wife,
Th
Letter To The Woman I used to Love. by bonecollector101, literature
Letter To The Woman I used to Love.
To the one I used to love;
By now I've probably left some form of mark on you in the form of all the brutal things I've written in your name, and I feel ashamed that I've written such things. I won't apologize, because there isn't any point. I was angry, I was hurt, and I hated you. Or at least, I wanted to.
These last 6 months have been the hardest I've faced in my life. In the scheme of things probably nothing. I imagine you've had it pretty breezy, with support from all your friends and family... diving into your world of Guild Wars and music. I'm happy you found your support, but I never really had any of my own.
I've faced 6 months al
Peace, Silence, Darkness by bonecollector101, literature
Peace, Silence, Darkness
The face of anger
The face of pain
The heart that says I won't be doing that again
The awkward silence
I can't get any peace
Quietly brewing those voices in my head
Watching you
Waiting for failure
Keeping myself afloat
Hoping you'll feel pain
Tearing down walls
Letting in the darkness
Dwelling makes it worse
Pain becomes my own.
Can't think about it anymore
Causes too much stress
I can't get it out of my head
It's buried to far down.
Why?
Can't I let it go?
Why?
Can't we see past the hatred.
Why has it consumed me
Why has it doomed me
Is this all I've become?
Have I really come undone?
I can't pick up the pieces
I can't find my peace
No mat
There isn't enough bourbon in the world
That could drown you out of my mind
The memories and the disappointment
The times I was out of line.
As I crack another stubbie
I turn the track up louder,
I try to tell myself it's over
Euphoria washes over.
It's well established that its over
Whatever love I had is gone
It's not that I'm dwelling on a love lost
But that I had a friend that betrayed me.
You don't see it
I think it's more that you don't care
I know there's no point trying
Because you think it's all my fault.
Dwelling on the things I did wrong by you,
I guess you could say I have a lot to answer for
But you allowed yourself to become
Suffering for others by bonecollector101, literature
Suffering for others
All my friends in far off places
similar suffering, different faces
Making their lives however they choose, not knowing what they have... what they're willing to lose...
You all part of what makes me who I am.
I watch your pain, I make it mine
I swallow it up, I take that time
It becomes part of me, what makes me see
What it takes to live your life.
I hate seeing the pain, I want it gone
I would happily take it off you to see the smiles on your faces.
I want to be your heroes, I want to make you happy
Because thats the way I am.
Call me crazy, call me stupid,
But your lives are worth living... I wish I was half of what you all are...
You'r
Do me a favor; don’t forget the time that we spent
It won’t last forever; I’m sure that one day we’ll meet again
Because we’re truly not far apart, it might as well be the start
And I know it seems a bit rough, just remember to not lose your heart
Because I’ll keep my faith in you, as long as you stay true
And don’t lose your faith in me, your friends barely know me
So don’t you ever worry, because one day we’ll start our story
Filling the blanks that we left open, keeping us from feeling lonely
We part ways now, old friend;
our paths, intertwined
now must leave each the other
as I must leave your side.
But know, now and ever:
what was may be gone
but is lost not and never
be the miles 'tween us long.
For a part of you stays
in my heart and my mind
blow the winds as they may
be there seas far and wide.
A part of me also
will be with you, you see
and I would have you know
this is how it should be.
But I cannot deny,
and I would not gainsay
that the "me" who must go
will miss the "you" who must stay.
I do not reconize
The person in the mirror
She is not me
But who could she be
I am standing here
And she is standing there
Right where I should be
But that is not me
Have I lost myself?
Lost who I am?
Lost my meaning?
Lost my being?
For who the person
In that mirror
Is where I should be
But where I am not
That is not me
For who else could it be
Mirrors show you who you are
But I swear that is not me
So I stand here waiting
Waiting for me
But I guess I will not return
Because I have waited long
Ive lost myself
To an every changing world
To the society that tells me
This is who you are
They may not say it verablly
B
It's hard to express my thoughts into words
To put memories into verses and light up this page
It's been so long since you left my arms
And I can't seem to fill the hole in my heart.
I've got to find a way to close you off,
To switch off every thought and feeling,
I don't know where I'm going anymore
Without you in my life.
I've loved you unconditionally
I've betrayed you more than I care to admit
We've broken each others hearts over and over again
Only yours seems to be repaired.
I guess all I want to know is where I stand
Or what I ever meant to you
I refuse to admit I was a faze or a fling
But I guess I'll never really know.
There's a
"We are the director's of our lives, at times we step out from the crowd, all the other directors... and we become unique. We control the focus, the zoom... the balance. We see only what we want. Every scene is predictable, but still manages to surprise us.
Our life is our masterpiece... and once we've made it, we're complete"
Something I once said, which I believe helps me understand who I am as a person.
Favourite Movies
Harry Brown
Favourite TV Shows
Dexter, 24, The Shield... and others.
Favourite Bands / Musical Artists
Damien Rice, Slipknot, Linkin park... and others.
Favourite Gaming Platform
PC
Tools of the Trade
Adobe Photoshop, Sony Vegas 10, Panasonic GH1, Canon HV30
Other Interests
Film making, Photography, Poetry, Screenwriting, Acting, Gaming
The strange way life grabs you.... by bonecollector101, journal
The strange way life grabs you....
I have a tumblr account for this, but I felt it better to post here.
I stepped away from DeviantArt because I felt the place has become a haven for wannabe porn photographers, perverts posing as artists etc... but I think my true reason was because I don't believe in myself as an artist. A lot of things have made me the slob, the demotivated piece of shit I am today, and DeviantArt really had nothing to do with it.
I don't believe my film making, my videography, my photography... has any artistic merit. Heck, I don't know what my definition of art is. Art has a wide definition, but I don't know how I fit.
Anyway, I want to give you a quick
I'm promoting some music by bonecollector101, journal
I'm promoting some music
If you like Lady Gaga and so on, this isn't the music for you.
I'm currently working with a band in my local area to get some airplay on their tracks. I'm also working on a local radio station, so I can get that sorted.
I'm trying to share their music with anyone and everyone. They're a high quality folk and other genre band, a lot of electric guitar pieces etc.
Please check them out... I promise there will be something there you like.
http://www.reverbnation.com/bigredwriting