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been a while. i had about 4-5000 messages when i got here. and yeah i looked at all of them...ok that was a lie but i tried...ok that also was a lie but i TRIED to try. I need to document some more of my stuff. i totally will...well i will try...well i will TRY to try. you know how i goes.
  • Reading: into things
  • Drinking: too much
ok can I ask you something? I understand the wonderful and benevolent gods at deviant art have been updating their little tushies off latley but honestly. they can stop now. please? I think this updating is 1. too much for my computer, it is not old or slow but it is getting confused and 2. shittie. it seems most times I come here and have the fun I used to I my computer gets a venarial disease. My computer is a good girl and doesnt do naughty things so why is it getting the computer clap here? It freezes and my virus scanner goes ape and I end up yelling at the people on my tv (why not) and I DIE A LITTLE INSIDE!
now I can not check my subscriptions artworks because it's so stupid.
i would check the spelling but I am a manly man and checking spelling is for pussies.

oh hey we can do different journal skins? i want part of this action. i now have to figure out how to make one. if it WORKS is all.
  • Drinking: like a fish
second day in the 6 week 6 pack work out series.
1 down 5 more to go!
  • Watching: you undress O.O
  • Eating: sensibly
hey! finals! yay!!!
I didn't have any tests this time (what?!) I rarely do, I normally get papers to do. And I did! I have been writing like a banchee! If banchees wrote and all. And I am rusty on my BS'ing skills because of summer. But I think I did a good job (hope hope)
Hope you had good finals. And your BSing skills were tops!

well christmas is coming! I have no money (like everyone else) so I am making all my gifts. I am locking myself in my room and getting things DONE! I wish I could rest like...for a minute or something. That would be nice. Well I jus' wanna know
whats good cheep home made christmas gifts now a days? are you making any? any tips? need any tips?
just dont get a snuggie. that stuffs wack yo.
  • Listening to: ... I am freaking out now. Shool isn't getting any cheeper. They refused to give me a loan and now I am transferring to a new more expensive school next year. I hope I have enough for my last semester. I really hope everything is going to be ok but I seem to be the only one telling me that. I get good grades...I just hate this so bad.
  • Watching: wouldn't you like to know
Ok story is rated R or PG 13 or's not for the kiddies if anything.
So ok! Story time! I had to talk about it to somebody and since it was art related I thought it would be appropriate here.
You know how I totally love drawing nudes. I think the human body is amazing and skin is so hard and so awesome to draw, in my opinon. I remember going to figure studies and being awed by the poses the models chose and how hard some of them were (one of them purposfully gave me forshortened views to see how I could do them, it was awesome). Well since I finished all my studio classes and I was missing drawing people around a bunch of people drawing the people. I heard another campus was hosting figure studies so I was all over that.
The first time was awesome. It wasn't a model but a musician and he just sat there and played his guitar and it was cool cause he knew how to play and it was all cool and soothing.
ANYWAY (I'll make it short but it is hillarious) I went today and was the only one who came. The lady supervising was gone too so the "model" had no idea what to do. He suggest doing some nude poses (the last time he had on pants) And being jaded to nudity and thinking the guy had DONE this before I said ok. So I said do some 30 second poses to warm up. He wanted to pose with the guitar and I said fine just make it interesting. So he is sitting there and I norice my sketch is getting better and better. I told him I wasn't in the habbit of telling a model how to do his job but it was way more than 30 seconds. He says "you want more poses?" uhhh yeah thats the point. So I told him yeah and he did another pose and showed me why he was sitting there so long. Yeah something came up alright (if you know what I mean). What made it so funny is that he didn't do anything about it! I was awkwardly looking at the clock and wishing a flood would happen to interupt, or a typhoon or marching band or anything to get me out of this awkward situation. I drew a crappy little thing and eventually got the hell out of there. It didn't look like a threatening situation but it was probably the most embarassing thing I have been involved in for a while. But I think that story was worth the ride over there, even if I didn't get any drawings out of it.
  • Reading: urban ledgends and stuff!
  • Watching: whos wedding is it anyway (there is nothing on)
I got a note from somebody saying whuddleworld is back. Is it? I went there and my account is still there (and looking sexy by the way) and I can do stuff but I don't see any anouncements or anything. I see like...seasonal stuff from around the time they closed. I'm comfuddled (see what I did there? clever) I would love for them to be back!

Oh! and I am in my halloween costume! I am alice in wonderland this year. I am being paid 100 big ones to take care of kids at a halloween party so thats what im doin. I have a love/hate relationship with my wig.
  • Eating: nothing
  • Drinking: nothing
I just found out about a sholarship that is accepting aplications next week. I have gotten the scholarship twice before but I had classes then. I havent been doing much traditional work in a while (thank you photoshop) so for the next week I am doing nothing but painting and drawing. I have a lot of half finished work and I now have tons of paint on my face that I don't care about being there.
What a kick in the pants to do something! Anyway I wont be around for a while. And if anyone knows how to quickly dry oil paints... I will marry you. XP
  • Watching: South Park
  • Drinking: water
I was looking through my photobucket and I found all these old dolls I did on my old computer. The thing is though, the computer I have now has a high definition monitor and the one I created the stuff on didn't so all the colors look really weird. And some of the stuff I did could be really improved.
I was wondering...if you find old work like this...hmm should I go back into it and re do a few things? I hate taking work I previously did and work on it again. I think it is kind of like violating ancient ruins or something. Should I? i am so dang tempted to.
  • Reading: Emma (and not bored!...yet)
  • Playing: the tamberine!
hey everlybody!
I got another DD! That's a good thing! In fact I think people like this one a lot better than my last DD which is weird because I always thought that work could be worked on a little more. I gave up after a certain point and you can see it. But anyway! If I didn't have major cramps right now I would be able to enjoy this more.
  • Watching: Venture brothers
  • Eating: everything
So anyway I am really full right now to the point of throwing up. Sorry but I ate an entire small popcorn at the movies, which just shouldn't be done by anyone. A "small" in movie speak is "really f*#(ing huge" in regular people speak. And because I did that I ate some cake...because while I am doing this why not make it worse?
Anyway. I have to do some portfolio work and I didn't. Of couse instead of locking myself in my room and painting I go to the MOVIES and watch GHOST TOWN...cute movie I would recomend it. But I seriously have to focus. I have to totally focus on doing respectable illustrational work.
Oh! I am totally Alice in Wonderland for halloween this year...I am so excited. After tonight who the hell knows if I am going to fit into the dress. XP
  • Reading: Running with scissors
  • Playing: seriously?
guess who got sims 2 appartments and now will play it forever? ME THATS WHO!! That game has to stop being so addictive. Witches are freaking awesome.
  • Reading: Treasure Island
  • Watching: MST3K: deadly bees
Hey everybody. My subscription ended! awwwwww.
Well anyway my mom made me get a facebook page. Kind of a weird thing. I normally don't like things like that (says the person on Diviantart) I think it is too personal. But that flair thing is fun! DAMN I have more fun deciding who should get what flair. I only have 2 friends cause its my mom and grandma...the people who told me to do it. But whatever. I don't know if anyone I know has these things.

Oh and Fay is where I am (the storm not the person) It's flooding pretty bad. My mom is going to walk the dog outside in her poncho right now...she looks pretty hillarious.
  • Reading: Nothing I am between books
  • Watching: Mad TV
So any dang way. Not only am I in a stump but my laptop is a pain in the ass. twice it failed to start up entirely...well one and a half times the last time it was just UNGODLY slow and I took that as not starting up and had a huge freak-out fest. It's ok now but I'm afraid to do anything...period. I swear to god that I am not working on things. I wish I was but it is a pain in the ass to work in my room insead of an ACUTAL studio. School is starting soon and I want to make it so I can work. Life sucks now.

Happy Mother F***ing Fathers day

Journal Entry: Mon Jun 16, 2008, 8:54 PM
  • Reading: Wuthering Heights
  • Watching: Family guy
HILARIOUS subject name
~end of header~

I hate fathers day so effing much. I had one of those fathers who liked to view me as a mistake. I have my stepfather...he is really more of a stepfather though. He never viewed me as a daughter. I was raised by a bunch of women. And the only memories of my father I cling to are of a tyranical ass who only liked to remind me how much I cost him in child support and talk smack about my mom in front of my sisters. Nice job, jackass.

But on to lighter news! I hate my life! WHEEeeee!

It's summer so I have been working shit load of hours and if I am not working I am playing the sims2 cause I dunno. I seem to be obsessed. Damn EA! I have been customizing some shoes and my mom wants me to make her some for free...I told her only if it was her birthday or something and she got pissed at me. Maybe I was a bit fast at that.

CSS and design by Lilyas

..aaaaaand scene!

Journal Entry: Thu Apr 24, 2008, 7:33 PM
  • Listening to: Sweeney Todd (obsessed)
  • Reading: Wicked...once my mom freaking finishes it
jazz hands, bitches!
~end of header~

I wanted something just to lighten the mood from my last journal entry. Everytime I go to my thing now it's all depressing and nasty. But the good part about it is that nasty wench is gone, she quit. but anyway

It's the ending of school for this year and I ended it fairly well. In acting our last project was to put on a play. Some people were not into the idea but I was. I really liked it and it turned out ok. It turned into a staged reading but it was nice and comfortable and not terribly terrible even though we had a lot of problems.

I did a painting of my old dog before and I am so sad I can't show you now because I can't find the cord that connects the damn camera to the computer. I am frantacly trying to find it but it is nowhere. damn thing.

CSS and design by Lilyas

Target Sucks

Journal Entry: Sat Apr 12, 2008, 9:27 PM
  • Listening to: the steam comming from my ears
  • Reading: The Glass Castle...makes my family look great
  • Eating: nothing, on a diet
Hug from satan!
~end of header~

I never knew how bad of a store Target was until I worked there. Oh I'm quiting no doubt about it. I wanted to quit the first day I was on.
My first day no one was there to train me. I had some chick tell me to pick things off the floor and I did that for 4 hours. For the next few hours I closed. I guess I was stupid to think that getting out at 11 ment getting out at 11. I got out at 1:30 am. I was not told the procedures of closing, I was not told what to do, I was abandoned and left to walk around the store aimlessly, and to top it all freaking off: I was not givin any breaks. I started freaking out and crying until the HR lady said she would work something out. They moved me to be a cashier instead. I thought this would be easier. The closing wasn't as tough as the salesfloor, There was less things to be worried about, It was less isolating since you get to talk to customers....or so I thought. 10pm still ment Being close to your superviser each day makes you want to smash thier face in, and the customers would complain non-stop about the unorgonized chaos they have to endure when shopping for clearence items ("But this said $5.99 not $6.70!") everyday until I popped. Oh I popped. I got ripped a new one by the manager because I gave her a "look". yeah...a "look". Ok This bitch has messed up my schedule numerious times and I didn't complain. She gave me no hours and then shit loads of hours...and I did not complain. I have always come to work early, left late, did my work as fast as possible, was nice to the customers, delt with her condisention and rude behavior, and had to work 5 hours and 55 minutes because 6 hours would mean i legally had to take a longer break...and I did not complain. I have worked there for ALMOST A YEAR and have yet to see a pay raise. I get paid $7.50 and hour and I do not earn that much to be talked to like that over.......a "look". Not only is it just a bad store in general they have terrible ethics. "oh train? no you'll figure it out after a while...and by that I mean we'll write you up and yell at you if you make a mistake that could have been avoided if we just told you in training." yeah go fuck yourself.

I needed that. I am glad that bitch decided to do that because it wasn't just her yelling at me for no reason...It was a hug from Jesus (I want that on a T shirt "hug from Jesus!") because lets be honest I think I really always wanted to quit but never found a concrete reason why and she gave me that reason. And I think I purposly set myself up for it. I wanted her to yell at me, I wanted to look at her...I wanted out.

and by the way...way to ruin a great beetles song, Target.

On a lighter note I had my birthday on the 8th and I can now totally drink booze....well I could before but now I can do it at resturants! I also got a sweet tablet so I can use my freaking awesome PS3 which means some freaking awesome stuff....well kind of I still have to figure out some things like line is that acomplished again? Anywho...I also have got inspiration for paintings that I needed so I am going to be doing them soon. ( not telling what it is though)

bow chika wow wow

CSS and design by Lilyas

Guess what else I got?!?!!?!?!?!?!??

Journal Entry: Mon Feb 18, 2008, 5:55 PM
  • Playing: with my dog
~end of header~

I got a widdle doggie!


His name is Mac (I hate the name cause it sounds like you started to say a name but forgot the last bit) he is a 18 month old scotish terrier and is really sweet and smart. He move around alot and that is the main reason why that is the best picture I have of him. He is groomed pretty weird but he's a scottie. a small one.

It is a strange predicament and thats the only reason mom gets her dogs. His name was under "Oliver" in and thats my stepdad's name. he is the only scottie in a shnouser rescue center. And he was born 18 months ago and Bonnie, our last dog, died about 18 months ago.
His name origionaly was Scooby but there was too many dogs named that in the shnouser rescue center and they changed it to Oliver so we just changed it to Mac

umm anyway. sorry for the ranting

CSS and design by Lilyas

a real sad hiatus

Journal Entry: Sat Feb 16, 2008, 12:39 PM
  • Reading: my words before I send this.
~end of header~

I really want to do artwork but it is too hard to now.
I have FINALLY got a Photoshop CS3 (ANYTHING is better than 6.0) but it is for my laptop. I have a great tablet....for my desktop. and because my laptop is a vista and my desktop is a XP I can't use the photoshop on my desktop or my tablet on my laptop. Which effing sucks!!! I really want to too. I have school, work, and now the new temptation of the sims 2 to push me back. So until I can get my tablet up and running (which it does, kind of at the start and then stops working) I won't be making anything cool. and I have some sweet things in my sketchbook.

OH and I might be getting a new dog! His name is Oliver and is a scottie (SURPIRISE) he is one year old and has all his shots.  My stepfather is also named we might need to change the dogs name to Ollie.


CSS and design by Lilyas

Guess what I just got!

Journal Entry: Wed Feb 6, 2008, 6:21 PM
  • Reading: my words before I send this.
~end of header~

I got a new laptop! I am totally typing on it now, you guys. It's pretty sweet. That is all. I have to get used to using these things. I've never had such a small computer before.


CSS and design by Lilyas