Love and War: Chapter 16

He'd have to take it back of course, once his strength returned, knowing her; this would turn into an argument. When the words came out, he was on the verge of death, and was quite content with the thought of bleeding to death once the words escaped. Living was an unexpected setback. The last thing he wanted was for her to think that he was fawning over her, while she hadn't a care in the world in regards to him—running around with other men, the nerve.

Problem was, it wasn't far from the truth. Volger's ego certainly took a blow, especially seeing as how this Dr. Gartner was ridiculous. But the blow was somewhat lessened as long as she didn't know how pathetic he was. Again he thought of death. Either one of them dying would have been far less complicated than this.

Nora, he noticed, was asleep; safe and sound on an armchair across from the couch; alive and noticeably bloodied herself which told the story he wasn't able to witness. He supposed if anyone could rescue him from a brutal death it would be her. It was remarkable and annoying all at once and therefore, unmistakably Nora. And he couldn't find it in him to hate her for it, unfortunately.

Hating her would make the situation easier, but that was something he tried and failed. Only Nora could arouse such strong otherworldly and absurd feelings within him. Why did he get involved with this woman? He should have kept his distance.

Volger stood up from the couch, trying to ignore the intense pain in his side. At the moment, he simply wanted to get out of there. There was little commotion outside, and her stateroom was perfectly silent.

Before heading to the door, he stole another glance at Nora who was still sleeping peacefully. Her angelic face glowing softly in the moonlight coming in through a window. It was easy to forget that she was an unfaithful, conniving harlot.

Volger questioned why he was still there, gawking at something that he evidently couldn't have. The sooner he got off this ship the better (not that she would notice). He needed to take back what he said, cut off all ties (not that she would care), and leave.

Volger started moving again. But luck seemed determined to keep him there; he accidently rammed his foot into something hard and heavy, a round coffee table, and scrapped the tip of his boot. He suppressed a yell, not in the mood to wake up Nora. That wasn't easy. The pain went straight from his foot to the fresh gunshot wound in his side. He winced and managed to control his yelp. But his painful encounter did not go unnoticed. Moments later Tazza noisily trotted up to him and looked at him strangely.

"Volger?" he heard Dr. Barlow speak softly from where she was asleep mere moments ago. "What are you doing up? You shouldn't be straining yourself."

"I'm not," Volger replied harshly, he rolled his eyes and wished she would go back to sleep. Nora looked at him; her face was completely void of emotion. Volger wondered at what moment she would bring up what he said earlier. It could happen any minute now, and he had not yet thought of a defense. He still felt slightly unconscious at the moment, and his mind hadn't returned to normal yet. Another reason this would be an inopportune time to have this conversation.

Nora stood and looked him up and down. "Would you like some coffee?" She asked unexpectedly. Volger raised an eyebrow; she had something up her sleeve.

"Yes," he replied simply, trying not to wince in front of her. As long as he didn't move or breathe, the pain in his upper body wasn't as bad.

"Sit down, I'll get it," Nora closed the gap between them and walked pass him. "You shouldn't be up." She said sharply, glancing back at him.

"I'm fine," Volger ignored the merciless pain and followed her to the kitchen. He probably wouldn't have followed her if she hadn't been so domineering about it.

Nora looked back at him fiercely, "Why are you so stubborn? Honestly—"

"What's he doing here?" Volger interrupted her midsentence and midstride. Dr. Gartner was slumped over her kitchen table, asleep, hugging a tea kettle. Somehow, Volger managed to keep the scornful tone out of his voice. Nora walked over to him and nudged the doctor awake. And after a series of haphazard nudges, the man sat up, shocked and disoriented.

"I do believe the shooting has stopped," Nora informed him. It took Dr. Gartner a while to register what she had said.

"Oh," the man frowned. "What time is it?" He stood, fumbling the tea kettle in his hands. "I should get home," he said hurriedly, and then remembered the pot in his arms. "You left this on the stove. I wasn't sure where to put it."

"I know where you could put it," Volger stated informally causing Nora to shoot the count a deterring look which Volger chose to ignore.

"You do?" Dr. Gartner raised an eyebrow, honestly curious. Volger forced a smile.

"I'll take it," Nora said grabbing the kettle. She put on a pot of coffee as the two boffins exchanged a few sentimental goodbyes which took much too long. And then Dr. Gartner finally left.

"Genius," Volger took a seat at the table where only moments ago Richard was sitting.

Nora rolled her eyes at this. "It's a shame he's leaving before the two of you had the opportunity to chat. I think you'd get on relatively well. You have more in common than you would think." Nora placed a round saucer and a cup of coffee in front of Volger, and then sat down across from him.

"Don't insult me."

"So is this how you are going to treat all of my friends?"

Volger took a short sip of his coffee, "I'm not entirely sure what you mean by that."

"You know very well what I mean."

"Enlighten me anyway," Nora gave him a look of irritation as Volger brought his cup to his lips once more. "Oh," the count said, his eyes brightening, as if he had an epiphany. He placed his cup gently on the table. "You want me to treat them the same way you do?" he asked matter-of-factly. "Because I honestly don't fancy sleeping with him."

The woman serenely drummed her fingers on the table and smiled smugly. "Jealous?" Nora took a long sip of coffee.

"Don't be absurd," Volger said placing his cup placidly on the table.

"You shouldn't be."

"I'm not."

"Right," she took another long sip. Volger couldn't deny it again; that would seem too defensive, and then it would be impossible to make her think otherwise. It hardly seemed to be working now. "He's married."

"He gets around," a smirk fell across the count's lips as he met her dark glare. Volger felt Tazza lean against his leg but didn't flinch. Strange, in recent months the creature had gone from vile to tolerable.

"Certainly you don't think I would ever entertain such a liaison," Nora said. Volger sat back in his chair. He didn't want to believe it, but everything that had happened recently said otherwise. And Volger was nothing if not logical. "I know there are rumors floating around, but Richard and I are just friends; there is nothing romantic at all between us."

Volger looked down at his cup and then back at her, she seemed sincere enough, which seemed to quench his envy. And he supposed that the rumors were just that. But more than anything Volger realized…he already knew that. It was a ludicrous rumor. Nobody goes out to a local inn to buy cheap ale when they have fine wine at home. Whoever started this rumor clearly misunderstood something. "Perhaps people shouldn't believe everything they hear."

"Exactly," Nora said, and thereafter a long silence encompassed the room. Tazza became restless. Volger would have enjoyed the silence if not for fear of her bringing up a certain topic. "Earlier I caught Alek and Miss Sharp kissing in the middle of the hallway."

Volger's eyes widened. Alek would do something reckless like that, wouldn't he? "In the middle of the hallway?" The count said just to make sure he heard her correctly. "I hope you gave them a good scolding."

Nora shrugged dismissively, "I did, more or less."

"Does Alek know…?"

"Yes, he knows Mr. Sharp is a miss." Volger let out a sigh of relief. He already had a lot on his plate, without that added complication. "Something you failed to tell me about," Nora added unpleasantly.

"As if you never withheld secrets from me."

"Yes, but you know I don't like to be left in the dark."

"And it's okay for you to keep me in the dark?"

"Precisely," Nora smiled before taking another sip of coffee. "But don't pretend that you aren't the same way."

"Fair enough," Volger said. Of course, this raised the question as to why she even brought it up.

"That's why you love me."

Volger felt his insides tense up, and the throbbing in his side intensified. "About that—"

Nora placed—slammed—her now empty cup indignantly on the table. "You are unbelievable!" she snapped. This wasn't going to go well. "You want to take it back. Are you that self-centered? This is why you will end up alone for the rest of your life."

"You see, this was the type of conversation I wanted to avoid."

Nora rolled her eyes. "It is not as if I'm enjoying this conversation."

"I think you enjoy yelling at me."

Nora sat back and folded her arms. "You should be more like Alek," she said slowly.

Volger almost choked on his coffee after hearing this, and after releasing a few coughs, which sent severe pangs through his body, he said, "Pardon?"

"He's honest, like back in the hallway. What he did may have been a little rash, but it was remarkably straightforward."

"What he did was unwise. This is exactly what I warned him against," Volger said, rising to his feet. "God's wounds, when I said that I thought I was going to die. You should have just let me! I wouldn't have to deal with this nonsense!"

Nora frowned and looked at him wide-eyed and in disbelief. "I couldn't have done that," she said calmly. All she had to do was just leave him there, and go on her way. He would have bled out eventually; it was considerably simple. "And doesn't it seem a little odd that you'd sooner die than admit that what you said is true?"

Volger thought for a moment. "I do not think it's odd at all."

"It's not as if you're asking me to marry you. But let me tell you something, a girl can quickly grow tired of your games. Either you love me, or you don't. If you want to take it back then, fine. Just stop wasting my time and don't expect me to stick around. But if you do, in fact, have feelings for me then be a man and just admit it."

Volger looked her in the eye from where he was now uncomfortably standing. "This feels vaguely similar to an ultimatum." He said, and stood silently for an indefinite amount of time.

"You're not going to take it back." Nora said. "You would have done it by now. But instead you avoided the question altogether."

Volger bit his lip. He felt incredibly exhausted all of a sudden and sat back down. "I did mean it," he sighed, and then looked at her. "Just don't expect me to say it often."

Nora's face softened, and a small smile caressed her face. "Now that I know the truth you won't have to. Not verbally anyway. You took a bullet for me after all."

Volger rolled his eyes, "For all the crap you're giving me, may I remind you that you haven't said it to me either. Care to explain that?" He leaned forward, "And I took two bullets for you." Volger said as a sharp pain went through him.

Nora looked at him blankly. "I told you not to strain yourself."

"I'm not."

She regarded him, looking him up and down, hardly believing his claim. "Are you sure it was two?"

Volger shook his head and smiled slyly, "Who's the one avoiding questions now?"

"That is entirely different." Curious, Volger raised a brow wanting and waiting for her to continue. She didn't. Then she finished the last of her coffee while ignoring him.

"As much as I enjoy puzzles, Dr. Barlow, I enjoy getting answers even more."

Nora looked at him irritably, and turned to the window that they were sitting in front of. "Why would I tell you?" she said impatiently. "You never gave me any indication that you garnered romantic feelings for me. Why would I put myself out there like that? For all I knew you could have been manipulating me."

"Manipulating you?" Volger blinked, that never even crossed his mind.

"Of course, I mean, it's not like you're good at it or anything."

"Why would I—" Volger's face hardened he was slightly offended by her theory. "Such a thought never even came to me. And if I wanted to manipulate you, there are other things I would try to get from you first."

"Charming," Nora replied softly and deadpanned. "That wasn't the answer I was looking for."

"Don't get me wrong, you are a very attractive woman. But If I just wanted that prostitutes are much cheaper and easier and aren't nearly as bossy…and yet, I am with you. I would much rather put up with you." Volger sat back and finished the last of his coffee. "That is as sentimental as I am going to get."

Her face softened again, "I could say the same." Volger raised an eyebrow and a coy, aloof smile graced Nora's features. For a terrifying second, he felt his stomach flip and immediately brushed it off as hunger out of habit. It was habit enough for him to realize it wasn't hunger. "It's interesting that you know that, though."

Volger flapped his hand flippantly; prostitutes were fairly straightforward. "I forgot to mention, not as insolent, as well."

"Some men find that attractive."

"No they don't. Not in the pursuit of pure physical pleasure."

"So what you are saying is that I am too annoying to be a prostitute."

Volger thought for a moment, careful of how to respond. "I wouldn't say, 'annoying,' I find your mannerism to be rather charming."

"That's because you're a narcissist."

Volger shrugged. "That word has such a negative connotation. I think I am exceptionally self-confident, and I think the same of you. I didn't think that was a flaw."

"Agreed," she nodded, and a few minutes of silence followed. But this time he actually enjoyed the silence. "What are we going to do?" She asked finally, disrupting the silence. "We can't possibly go on like this. We are on different sides of the war, you're leaving, this ship will eventually return to London where I will return, that doesn't bode well for us."

"Perhaps we should see what happens once this war ends," The words felt cold and uncomfortable rolling off Volger's tongue. She reached across the table and firmly grasped his hand, which was the last thing he had expected from her, and therefore should have been expected. Nonetheless, he found it to be pleasant.

"That seems sensible." Nora nodded and suddenly it was over almost as soon as it had started, without a guarantee that he would ever see her again. It was a thought he tried to push aside. Wars last a long time leaving behind countless casualties in the process. In essence, the world seemed to be against him. Story of his life.

"I think we both knew it would turn out this way," she said delicately. Volger felt his chest tighten, but ignored it. "And don't worry," she said tapping his hand with her other one, "We'll see each other again. You are never going to find another woman like me and will end of hunting me down no doubt."

"Like an emu," Volger smiled proudly.

Nora gave him a look of vexation. "Do you really want to revisit that discussion?"

"Probably not. But we hadn't had an argument within the past five minutes. We're due for another."

"And emus are so controversial."

"Very true. That was a strange day," Volger reminisced. "I don't know what I was even doing there. For whatever reason, Alek insisted on going to that hole in the wall."

"That's interesting," Nora said raising an eyebrow. "Has Alek ever been to Mexico?" Volger shook his head slowly, and he got the impression that something was wrong. "Deryn, Miss Sharp, must have told him about it then. Telling her something is like whispering it directly into Alek's ear."

Volger blinked and leaned forward again. "So Alek knew for a fact that you would be there with Richard. And he told me, that we may run into them."

Dr. Barlow laughed at this, "How amusing. If not…slightly disturbing."

Volger thought for a moment, once again getting the feeling that something was off. "It is quite odd."

"I am seriously starting to mistrust Miss Sharp. She's the one who started that terrible rumor about Richard and me. Although that may have involved some matchmaking on her part."

"Matchmaking?"

"Apparently she thought that Richard and I would make a very good couple. But then again, at the restaurant, after it was suggested I immediately informed her that Richard was married. I had to remind her that I was with you which seemed to have slipped her mind. Even after, a long and personal talk about...us..." she trailed off. "Anyway, she told Alek what I told her then, as well. She reacted negatively from the start. But then said she was okay with it."

"That's a relief," Volger let out a feigned sigh, "I so desperately wanted her approval."

"You can't blame her for being a little disturbed. I really don't believe her anyway."

"I suppose. Alek wasn't thrilled either." Volger frowned, a twinge of guilt pulling at his mind. It was an odd feeling that had been eroding away for a while now. "He seemed somewhat upset actually." Volger looked down at their intertwined hands, in deep thought. He thought about his initial conversation with Alek, and how he demanded that he break it off with the doctor. And then later he insisted, yet again, that he break it off with her.

"What are you thinking about?" Nora asked.

"Alek tried to get me to break up with you twice now."

"I think they both need to learn to stay out of the personal affairs of others."

Volger nodded and then froze, something lugging at his mind. "Didn't you tell Miss Sharp that your friend was married before this rumor came about?" He asked inquiringly.

"Yes," Dr. Barlow retracted her hand and Volger's arm instantly felt cooler. "She purposely started a false rumor." Her troubled eyes were met with his own, as if he could somehow understand the situation better.

"She couldn't possibly want to set you up with a married man. And the rumor caused more harm than good."

"I doubt Mrs. Gartner would be incredibly pleased with the rumor." The woman smiled, "Although, looking back, I did enjoy your jealous rampage."

The count gritted his teeth, annoyed while she was positively beaming. "I was not—" The last bit seemed to choke off. And the two of them locked gazes, as if caught in a trance while their heads clicked away like gears. Volger sat back as everything came together. "That was the point, wasn't it?" Volger would be lying if he said that his reaction to this Dr. Gartner didn't trigger some sort of argument.

"It would seem that way." Nora said. "This was all part of some plot to drive a wedge between us. And all her talk about manipulation at the restaurant, that was all rubbish." Despite the situation, Volger couldn't help but laugh a little, a laugh that he courteously attempted to cover with his hand. "What is so amusing?"

"She manipulated you." Volger said between laughs.

"Oh, Shut-up!" she snapped. "You were fooled as well." Volger's laughter vanished quickly. Nora flashed an infuriatingly superior smile. "Remind me how you got to the restaurant again?"

Volger frowned, "Seems a bit ruthless for Alek. I don't know if I would use the term 'manipulated' in this instance."

"I would." Nora said quickly. "It would certainly explain why Alek was so eager to join us in town. He knew Dr. Gartner would be there; he knew I would be there, and he knew that would ruffle your feathers—"

"Yes, yes," Volger held up his hand, a polite way of telling her to 'shut-up'. "I am well aware of all this."

"I just wanted to remind you," she smiled.

"Thank you, Doctor," he said contemptuously, looking to move on.

"In a way he did sort of manipulate you."

"Let's not dwell on the past. I'm sure there are a whole slew of back-handed comments they issued to us. The question is what we are going to do about it now?"

Nora held up her hand, "Wait, what did he tell you about me?"

"He was able to point out that you haven't treated me very well. You're controlling, disrespectful, you're rude, you hit me!"

"That was once, and you deserved it," she quickly objected. He probably deserved most of the abuse she dealt, but he didn't really care. In fact, he quite enjoyed it at times. "You had him spy on me. And I have to add, a lot of those things you mentioned are vaguely similar to what he told me about you."

Volger rubbed his mouth. Alek wasn't a very good spy. "First of all, it isn't 'spying' if you care about the person. Secondly, what did he tell you exactly?"

"The same really. Controlling, distrustful," Nora raised her hand; counting off points on her fingers as if these were facts, "devious, and he had this absurd notion that you were always scheming."

"I think that is an exaggeration. And you should know that I do trust you. You're one of the few people I do trust, in fact, which is why I was a little taken aback by your alleged relationship with another man. I wanted to run him through."

"And then Miss Sharp and Alek would have been responsible for the death of an innocent man. This plot in general was fairly wicked. And what's worst, they probably believe that they got away with this scheme."

Volger nodded, "We should do something about that."