diamond heartyou've frequently wished tocrack the beautiful,messy enigma you'vehappened togrow so fond of. i, being thefool i am forany man whogives me pretty wordsand seems interestedbeyond ourphysical desires,have promised togrant you theinsight you seek. i am aware thatslow and steadywins the race andi read all the tales onthe tortoise beatingthe hare as a child,but i have neverbeen one for anythingslow.allow me todo the work for you. i tried starting withthe easy,what you already know.it's a waste of words andtime is precious. it is better toface the storm now thanwait for it to hit later. i am dreadfully afraid.it's anyones guess of what.my own shadow, any fish that lookstoo much like a shark,a drop of blood. more likely though it'sthe statistical probability ofhow hopelessly irrelevant i will be, leaving no trace behind thati was here.that i mattered. or perhaps it's being tooself-aware, knowing
this feeble heart is breakingmy heart hassplit into fragments.i've been scrambling topick them up andtape them all together.i'm not quick enough,i've never been quick enough.the majority you havegrabbed and gathered up,up into your strong arms thathave always made me feelsafest.that have always been home. you don't offer to return them,no,you keep them stuffed intoyour pockets with the lint andchange you haven't yet thrown out.it's for safe keepingyou promise, but whyshould i believe you whenyou hold so much power over me?others have fluttered away,far away into the hands of anunsuspecting fool.he dangles them before me.he offers them, butdoesn't return them.it's your choice.it's a gentlemen's lie.and yet, i catch myselffalling for it. i find myself late at nightrunning between you two,stealing any parts of me ican hopefully take back. you joke and laugh atmy expense, crack a smile,pretend there's no worries.he diverts and charms andwrites better poems
in the eye of a hurricanethere's a storm inside me.it thunders and crackles inmy belly,its clouds smash againstmy ribcage. i think of you andit clears away. the sun,it begins to shine beneath mychest and you can hear the birds cry.butterflies create mini twisters thatmake my heart flutter. i think of you anda knot grows into my belly,filling up every space,making me want to puke. i'm gagging, but the knotwon't come out thanks to themarbles i swallowed for breakfast.i cannot breathe i cannot think,i can only tremble.i think of both of you andthe storm turns into a hurricane.category 5 winds swirl insideand i'm panicking - where's the nearest evacuation route?where is my safety my comfort?calm and calamity, i can no longer tell them apart,become one while i fall apart
one hell of a yeari. some friends willhelp you spread your wings.they will cheer as theywatch you soar. never once will they see you asicarus heading to his death.those are the ones you keep.others will rip out your wings toreplace them with ones of wood, feathers, and wax. they will shove you up - up into the sky andlaugh as your erupt into flames.leave them to burn themselves.save yourself from getting scorched.ii. the invisible girl willforce herself to be seen. it will begin when shestrips herself down. the vulnerabilities will shine through.show off every scar, every crack.she will then dye herself withher true colors.blend in pinks, blues, purples.she will wrap herself in her flag for comfort. you will embrace your identity. iii. you will love,my god you will love.how warm your heart will be!your body, electric. it's a beautiful feeling.savor it.bottle it up beforethe storm clouds roll. iv. you will break.