Blue's Reviews #10

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Bluemonster140's avatar

Literature Text

Before we begin, these oc’s all belong to their respectful creators, also even if the oc’s that I review get bad ratings please do not harass or attack the creators of said oc’s.

The next oc I’m going to review is f-u-t-e-flowering.deviantart.c…  by :iconf-u-t-e-flowering: by the way my statements will have bold (these) around them.

-The Mime of Alberdeen Full Bio-

Birth Name: Jasper Lawrence Belrose
(Unique name) 
Meaning of name: Jasper - Treasurer; Persian 
Lawrence - from Laurentum; Greek/Latin
Belrose - Beautiful rose; English variant of the French Bellerose
(Yay! These definitions just make the name even more interesting XD)
Nickname(s): Jas
(Who gave him the nickname?)
Creepypasta Name: The Mime of Alberdeen
How Did They Get This Name and Why: Alberdeen is his home town where he haunts, and he was a street performer.
(I looked up ‘city Alberdeen’ and a ton of answers came up, is there a certain state or country which this specific city of Alberdeen?)

Gender: ??? (he doesn't know)
Sex: Male
(If he doesn’t know his gender then why is his sex, which also is another way to mean gender Male?)
Pronouns: He/His/Him/Himself
Age: 24 years old 
(okay, so he is a legal adult alright!)
Date of Birth: July 7th, 1483 [Tell the Truth Day]
Zodiac Sign: Cancer
(Alright, this is good he is a cancer which is the correct sign for those who are born July 7th)
Place of Birth: Alberdeen, Great Britain, Europe
Race/Species: Human, Caucasian British [when alive], Vengeful ghost [is now]
Native language: British English 
Languages spoken: British English, and British Sign Language
Orientation/Sexual Preference: Homoromatic Asexual (has romantic attraction to only men/males; has no sexual attraction at all to anyone)
Religion: Catholicism
Occupation: Busking (Street Performing)

Are They Dead: Yes.
If Yes, How’d They Die: Burned at the stake, after having their tongue cut out 
Date of Death: November 18th, 1507
Place of Death: Alberdeen, Great Britain, Europe
(Nvm on my past statement about what country or state the city Alberdeen was located .-.)

-Medical Info:

Blood type: O+
Mental Disorders: ADHD (Inattentive type), Dyslexia 
(OK, I like how you kept this simple and mental disorders to a minimum)
Phobia(s): spiders, fire 
(normal human fears, HUMANS FOR THE WIN!)
Allergies: nuts
Habits: chewing on his nails, pacing back and forth, rubbing hands together
Powers/Special Abilities: can do illusions, such as lengthening his shadows to tall heights (like 10 ft); floating/hovering, telekinesis, telepathy
(Seems to be a bit much, maybe you should take at least two or one away so he won’t be to overpowered or maybe some type of debuff or backlash when he uses these types of abilities)


Height: 5' 8" (172.78 cm) [when alive] 
Weight: 138 lbs. (62.6 kg) [when alive]
Body type: Ectomorph (skinny/lanky) [when alive]
(I did do some research into the weight of someone for his age group and height and it seems that you did it perfectly so good job :D)
Face shape: Heart shaped
Hair: Black, thick, Curtained styled hair
Eyes: Brown, deep set eyes [when alive]; black deep set eyes [now]
(So when he is, to which I will guess dead does his brown eye coloring fade due to lack of emotion or feeling or because they are just simply degrading over time since his passing?)
Nose: wide, pointy
Skin: has burn scars, wears mime makeup, wears white gloves, was pale light skinned when alive 
(Did I mention I’m terrified of mimes, there like those elevator mirrors it is just too weird for me to feel safe. They honestly give me shivers down my spine .-.)
Piercings: None
Tattoos: None
Scars/Weird Marking(s): burn scars
Birthmark: one on his left foot
Clothing/Style: black beret, long sleeved black and white striped shirt, black dress slacks, black dress shoes, white gloves, mime makeup
Jewelry/Accessories: None
Scent: smells like ash and burnt wood
(I’ve always sort of liked that smell…weird…)
Weapon(s): his hands, telekinesis, telepathy
(Can you tell me how telepathy could be classified as weapon for him, well of course it could lore someone into a trap or give them a migraine and in other cases maybe degrade their sanity, but in what way does he use it to harm others?)
Physical Disorder/Disability: None


Family of Jasper - 
Mother: (Deceased) Abigail Belrose 
Father: (Deceased) Daniel Belrose
Brother: (Deceased) Timothy Belrose (is twin to Anna)
Sister: (Deceased) Anna Belrose (is twin to Timothy)
other family members: Some deceased, some alive
BFF: Samson Augustine Taylor (deceased)
(People are dead..)

Relationship status: Single 

Character traits: Chatty/sociable, clumsy, arrogant, observant, playful, sassy, quick-witted, adventurous, headstrong, stubborn, impatient, easily bored, determined, assertive, extrovert 
(I seem to see no faults in his personality traits, they all work in harmony together and none of them seem to stray away from the fact that he used to be an entertainer and was probably a very bubbly person in general)

Open to Experience: 75/100
Conscientiousness: 50/100
Extraversion: 100/100
Agreeableness: 50/100
Neuroticism: 25/100
(Again nothing wrong here, this goes along with his personality perfectly)

Likes: birds, performing, religion, trying new things, socializing, the color blue, nature walks, singing
Dislikes: cats, the color yellow, uncomfy clothes, tea, rain storms, waking up early, burnt food
Hobbies: performing, nature walking, singing, wood carving, collecting bird feather and rocks, cooking
Fears: fire, spiders
Strengths: darkness, night, shadows 
Weaknesses: Holy water, crosses, priests, fire, bright light
(if his weaknesses include tons of religious items why does he like religion, not to be rude just curious since you said he likes religion when it seems to hurt him)
How He Kills/Wounds in Combat: After haunting the target for a while, rips out their tongue and then he throws them around the room repeatedly, smashing them into objects and the walls.
(gore, gore everywhere :D)
Abilities: can do illusions, such as lengthening his shadows to tall heights (like 10 ft), floating/hovering, telekinesis, telepathy
(I believe you stated this before, but I guess it helps to state it again)

-Backstory: Jasper grew up lower middle class in 1500's in Alberdeen. He had got through grammar school just fine. Jasper had gotten decent marks. As Jasper grew up, he became highly religious. He saw the indulgences be sold by the Catholic church. That made him intensely angry and concerned for his religion. He hounded the church officials for weeks to no avail. Then he would stand on the street corners and tell anyone who would listen to him talk about it. This went on for some time. It started to change the public's opinion of the church. The Catholic church had to do something. So, Jasper was taken from his home and was cast as a heretic in the town square in front of the entire town. He would not recant. So, they cut off his tongue and burned him at the stake for being a heretic and a "liar". He now haunts and kills corrupt people, esp. corrupt church head officials and corrupt politicians. 
(Well, shit got dark. This is the definition of a good detailed backstory, this backstory is valid to the time period and what the church did often happened to those who opposed them and their opinions and power, so it seems you did your research great job!)

He will spare some people in certain cases: such as if you give him a gift (such as a holy item or relic: a necklace with a cross, etc). This will only last a few months though (three at the most). 
(Well shit, grab all the holy water and rosaries because the hellish mime himself wants to ram my little midget self on walls like I did too moths and stinkbugs that decided to invite themselves uninvited into my room)
He was a sexual masochist (when alive).
(It gets even better, he is the hellish masochist mime who has powers made to kill, I am the definition of screwed. DON’T KILL ME!)

In the end I give this oc a 8/10 this oc is honestly thoroughly detailed and researched I had to nitpick to find small tiny flaw here and there and even then I believe the only reason why I gave this the rating I did is probably because I misunderstood some of info on the bio or I just found a very small problem than all in all probably shouldn’t even matter. In the end this is an amazing oc and to be honest I would love to draw him that is if I get your permission.Panda Emoji-01 (Clapping) [V1] Markiplier clapping (F2U) Clap Llama Emoji-78 (Clapping) [V4] Yuuko Clapping Icon Neko Emoji-32 (Clap) [V2] Futaba Clapping Icon 
*slowly starts to fall asleep* zzz *coughs* *snorts* MUST CONTINUE TO WRITE REVIEWS SO I CAN FINALLY SAY I DIDN'T PROCRASTINATE!
Like always if you agree with this review please go ahead and tell me if you don't agree with the review or feel like something should be added comment it down below, Also if you want a oc to be reviewed link it down in the comments :D (Big Grin)
© 2016 - 2022 Bluemonster140
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f-u-t-e-flowering's avatar
Thank you so much for the review!!! : )

I hope I can clear up somethings for you. So I will try.

1: Jas was a nickname given to him by his BFF, Samson.

2: Sex and gender are actually two different things. Sex is male, female and intersex and is what reproductive parts or chromosomes you have. There is biological sex and genetic sex. Gender is how one perceives one's self. Gender is boy/man, girl/woman, agender, bigender, etc.

3: He is a vengeful spirit (ghost) now. That's why his eyes are black now, because he is so filled with rage over his death. When he was human and alive, his eyes were brown..

4: Telepathy is a weapon and not one. Usually he uses telepathy to remind near constantly the victim of their sins.

5: He was very religious when he was alive. He still is but is very conflicted. Many religions around the world have different ways of dealing with and exorcising demonic spirits, and vengeful ghosts. Since it's his religion, it would work best against him because of his beliefs. Rather than say, using Chinese exorcisms. If that makes sense.
Bluemonster140's avatar
Okay, thanks for clearing everything up it helps me understand the character a bit better! Also no problem it was my pleasure to review your oc ^^
f-u-t-e-flowering's avatar
PS - you can always draw my OC!! Also, if you want to know more about him, feel free to ask me.