So over the last week I've had two Star Wars' dreams in as many weeks, only I'm not a Star Wars fan, and it is my suspicion that the Pahlavi family, in an attempt to satiate some kind of fantasy of mine have essentially "sold me" to the Disney Corporation, and their psychiatrist has been fucking with me in my sleep, as per my previous entries regarding Doctor Ross, Doctor White and psychiatry as a whole (and I'll toss in Sean Sturgeon in there as well as Bill Cosby).
My Lucasfilm story; way back in 1989 or 1988 I was working at San Francisco Studios at 7th and Harrison across the street from the San Francisco Hall of Justice, which is also SFPD's HQ. It was a shoot for Sun Micro, and just happened to be a Star Trek parody where Kevin Pollack was cast as Captain Kirk doing his William Shatner imitation.
What was I doing there? I was an intern serving as a production assistant. At the time I had chosen film as a career because I couldn't get myself to perform in math and science, my first true loves. I did not like the film industry. I liked science. I liked engineering, and did not like the self important egos that went along with the film industry, the film industry at that time being a child of the propaganda used in Nazi Germany.
What do I mean by a child of Nazi Germany? There is a belief that film has a great deal of power to influence the behavior of people, and that films used in Germany during the 30s and 40s helped foster antisemitism and the genocide that happened there. Often you'll hear victims or their families (descendants, children and what not) cry "Never again!" referring to the effort to avoid another holocaust. Ergo the film industry is a tightly locked up and has a strong law enforcement component to it in terms of screenwriting and displaying and telling criminal plots as story devices. The idea here is that revealing and exposing the public to subversive plots against the law will help us, again the movie going public, spot that kind of behavior, and that we'll be educated and better people for it.
Well, I think if you look at crime statistics that there's little correlation between people's media exposure and how many people are in jail or otherwise caught and arrested, and that the fear of what used to be a largely Jewish dominated industry is, in fact, paranoia left over from the revealing of what happened in the holocaust. Further, that there is a cadre of individuals, I'm guessing mostly Jewish, who still think that film has a kind of power to influence people's thinking to the point of committing criminal acts.
Again, that's not really the case. Films can inspire, but you only commit criminal acts if you're so inclined in the first place; i.e. willing to break the law or moral convention.
Ergo the film industry, at one time, was very difficult to get into because of this fear, and ergo there was a sheen of scoff-lawing and freebooting of film industry people who freely did drugs and engaged in sex, flaunting both law and traditional social convention established by the English settlers and descendants thereof. So when Spielberg has his cocaine problem and doesn't get arrested for it (cocaine being one of the primary currencies for organized crime, and a commodity that has seen countless deaths and tortures to get it delivered to market illegally) or when it's revealed that Dustin Hoffman or Warren Beatty have problems controlling their sexual urges, but again don't get the law coming down on them for harassment, you're seeing a social sect that thinks it knows what's better for you in terms of media than what you yourself can judge, and is flaunting the law of this nation which you and I obey. And, further, unlike the inner city black kid who'll have the book thrown at them, they'll get away with it.
That's the film industry. I did not like it. I still don't. But at the time I had enough gumption and just sheer will to put up with the drug use and casual sexual liaisons to in order to further my dreams of turning this game, www.traveller5.net/
, into another Star Trek or Star Wars.
Getting back to the Sun Micro industrial from the late 80s; I worked with a CHP officer who was disguised as an intern, who was in fact investigating me for Road Rage. A moosed or gelled crew cut, I didn't know who he was at the time, but in retrospect I do now. His cover story was that he was one of the owner's sons. Well, Roberta Riley owned the studio outright. There were no outside investors, and in retrospect, she may have been part of the nation's security apparatus (NSA or CIA, though that's pure guesswork on my end, and no, it's not delusional, and quite frankly I don't give a shit whether you believe that or not). I was also working with a soundman who had ties to Lucasfillm up in Marin County.
The sound guy and I got to talking (of all people he actually laughed at several takes because mister Pollack was ad libbing some of the script), and he sheepishly, hesitantly, guardedly and otherwise unwillingly, took out a paper and pencil and wrote down a phone number for me to call. I can't remember the person's name he wrote down, some male supervisor, but the soundman (who was taller than me, had a pony tail, and thinning light brown hair with a full beard and moustache) told me to call him to see if he had any jobs or for an interview or some such.
I was a nervous wreck. Work for the Star Wars' creator George Lucas himself? Wow. At that time he was an idol of mine, and if I could work on Star Wars, which I really liked (though I was not a big fan), then I could take whatever skill I learned from the experience and apply it to turning Traveller the Role Playing Game into a proof of concept trailer, and pitch it to both Marc Miller and some studio head.
That was the dream.
As of a half hour ago when I first started writing the journal entry, I am now diametrically opposed to every working for Disney for the reasons mentioned in the opening paragraph. This will no doubt be used against me in a court of law, but I've got evidence to the contrary now.
Further, the reason I won't work for Disney is that because if I do, then I'll be forced to sign away my creativity; i.e. if I write novels, then Disney won't allow me to write them anymore for fear that I got a story idea from someone on their lot (assuming I wrote for them), meaning any story idea or creativity I generate myself, they would own as I would be their employee.
And the fact that I've had yet another Star Wars' dream, says to me, that there's psychiatry operating on behalf of Disney.
Going back in time some it's my belief that Mohammed Reza Pahlavi and Farah Pahlavi, my biological parents, set this up. I had lots of Disney showered on me in terms of media. From a trip to Disneyland where Alejandra was allowed to drive me around in one of the old fashioned cars to, mandatory viewing of the Wonderful World of Disney on Sunday evenings, to multiple story book records and whatever else.
Up until this point I had nothing against Disney. They make good products (mostly), and in spite of mister Walter Disney being an asshole on occasion, he seems to have been a pretty decent guy for the most part.
But, I've had a life time of psychiatry, including that fucking asshole Bill Cosby and the United States Navy (army too) fucking with me. And anyone who uses such tactics can fucking go to hell. That includes the Disney corporation.
On Star Wars. I saw the latest Star Wars film. I thought it was one of the longest and worse films I had ever seen. Lots of production values, but it looked like it was written and shot by film students who had done a lot of drugs that had essentially destroyed their creativity, and therefore they took one of the previous stories, The Empire Strikes Back in this case, shuffled the scenes, and retrofitted their own Australian female character into the Luke Skywalker role. That, and they turned the hero of the previous movies into a burn out case.
In short, it's a slop artist job, and I hope Disney looses its shirt by letting fucked up film makers destroy what once was a treasured American media icon.
But again, I'm not a Star Wars fan. And to cap that concept off, here's why. Star Wars is yet another anti-Nazi movie. The soldiers for the "evil Galactic Empire" are called "stormtroopers". Only one geopolitical entity ever had such soldiers, and that was Nazi Germany. The uniforms worn by the Imperial officers are pattered after both Nazi military uniforms as well as Mussolini's fascist uniforms. Whether George Lucas himself came up with that concept or felt that he needed to use Nazis as the bad guys, I can't say, and I don't give a shit either way.
However, it is my contention that the way to fight things like fascism is to tout American ideal, or those developed through philosophies of Locke, Hobbes, and the writings of the founders for the United States; i.e. Jefferson, Franklin, even Adams. As such, in my book, the perpetual making of films about the second world war the allied victory there, strikes me as a faux patriotism, and probably is fueled more by self preservation by victims of the holocaust and their families, than any belief in what Jefferson penned back when this nation was being founded.
Star Wars, the first three films from 77 to the early 80s, are remarkable pieces of cinema history. But, again, to me it strikes me more as anti-fascist oriented dressed up as an adventure film, than anything having to do with freedom, liberty, etcetera. Further, in the Star Wars "universe" things that Yoda says "anger, fear, aggression" are the dark side, meaning wrong emotions, or bad emotions. Well, in my book, anger, fear and aggression have perpetuated the species. Anger motivates you to seek justice or show a rival or enemy how good you are, and keeps you fighting back. Fear keeps you from drowning, walking out in the middle of the street and getting hit by a car. Aggression helps you win that game or that girl that you got your eye on. They are not "dark" emotions, nor are they bad. One might argue that the whole Star Wars' experience is in fact and form a giant exercise in psychiatry. Given George Lucas' statement about how in years to come that it would be a helpful lesson (i.e. now) it would not surprise me if our current political situation where in essence a giant psychiatric scheme for the nation. But that last part is pure speculation …. thought I'm sure it's true.
So, I will not work for Disney, and I'm glad I never worked on a Star Wars' film.
I think I should also add that my residence up here in Marin County, I'm guessing, may have been in part due to George Lucas. More delusional thoughts you say? Eh, given the enormous amount of money put into my person it wouldn't surprise me if it were true.
Someone from 2011 or 2012 up to 2015 put me through a series of theatrically staged "symptoms" thinking that that was what I wanted during my little psychotic act when I still lived down in Foster City. That person drove me to the verse of suicide more than once. I won't go further than that.
I no longer want to go into film. I still want to keep writing fiction, but find myself obsessed with A) stopping psychiatry, B) getting justice, and C) exposing what I went through.
Typically one of the tactics and strategies for these kinds of psychiatric schemes is that the woman you loved or some object of affection is behind it. Well, my road rage and episodes of rage are pretty much gone, and the continued use of psychiatry on my person is criminal, malicious, and sadistic.
Further, if by some chance I am forced to work for ANY movie studio, I will create havoc out of sheer spite.
In short, knock it off, because you will pay a heavy price.