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About Deviant //yourdefaultdreamer.Female/United States Recent Activity
Deviant for 13 Years
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I Am My Own End
In the end, I'm left standing here with the ring of your voice in my head,
reverberating in my heart.
My hands over my ears.
I'm saving myself from the sound of repetition.
From what I've heard you and every other person always ever say to me.
The disappointment of the platonic feelings.
The energy and excitement put into absolutely nothing,
A one way magic mirror ride through hell.
All I see is the repeating me.
The constant reminder I am not who you,
Who everyone, wishes I should be.
The person people wish I could be.
Because I am just so close to the whole package,
Just a few steps short of the perfection you dream of.
I look so damn good on paper, great over the phone.
But I fail when it comes to the interview of a lifetime.
You hear perfection and you expect to see it,
but it's not me and I am so sorry.
I am so sorry,
but I will not spend my nights awake.
I will stop thinking about the ways of which I have failed,
and I will remember the moments of aspiration.
The moments where I
:iconbluasylum:bluasylum 0 3
Time Shouldn't Matter
Remember the time when time didn't matter?
Age was only important when it was time to put candles on your cake.
Cable television was good for Saturday morning cartoons.
Christmas morning claymation and Sesame Street fun.
Danger was a bumblebee on a Sunday afternoon.
Fear was forgetting your book report at home.
Love was spending hours fingerpainting smiles,
Then giving them as a secret Mother's Day surprise.
Remember the day when days didn't matter?
You looked forward to school, to see your best friends.
The weekends meant getting dirty and playing,
Games all day, games all night.
When you actually knew all of the names of the kids in your neighborhood.
Joy was building a snowfort with friends.
Laughter was free, and most of all, common.
Stress was only known when learning to write cursive.
And dreams were not only alive, but definitely possible.
Remember the time when days didn't matter?
Hold on to your childhood, and never let go.
Take some time off to get a little dirty.
To run thro
:iconbluasylum:bluasylum 0 0
Inside the Cold of Love
I want to know what it's like to feel the sun embrace me
For the wind to accept me with open arms
The ground, hard and cold, to welcome me to it's secrets
To hold me, softly, inside the cold, empty air
I want to know what it's like to feel the moon close around me
For the stars to shine my way to heaven
The black sky, so dark and vast, to welcome me to it's never ending
To carry me, softly, away from pain and sadness
Feeling the world around my soul
Wandering, pointless and without regard, through life
There is no home, no north to find, no center to hold
I am restless, I am homeless, I am without respite
I want to know what it's like to have another human touch me
For their fingers to graze against my skin with love
Their eyes, so warm and inviting, to truly see me
To hold me, softly, and never let me go
:iconbluasylum:bluasylum 0 3
St. Paul's Basilica, 1 by bluasylum St. Paul's Basilica, 1 :iconbluasylum:bluasylum 1 0 Brilliant Butterfly, 3 by bluasylum Brilliant Butterfly, 3 :iconbluasylum:bluasylum 0 2 Brilliant Butterfly, 2 by bluasylum Brilliant Butterfly, 2 :iconbluasylum:bluasylum 1 2 Brilliant Butterfly, 1 by bluasylum Brilliant Butterfly, 1 :iconbluasylum:bluasylum 0 0 Water Fountain, 1 by bluasylum Water Fountain, 1 :iconbluasylum:bluasylum 0 0 Friends, For a Long Time. by bluasylum Friends, For a Long Time. :iconbluasylum:bluasylum 1 0 In Full Bloom, 2 by bluasylum In Full Bloom, 2 :iconbluasylum:bluasylum 0 0 In Full Bloom, 1 by bluasylum In Full Bloom, 1 :iconbluasylum:bluasylum 1 0 Not Suffer Anymore, 1 by bluasylum Not Suffer Anymore, 1 :iconbluasylum:bluasylum 11 0 Life As We Once Knew It, 1 by bluasylum Life As We Once Knew It, 1 :iconbluasylum:bluasylum 4 0 Feel So Alone, 1 by bluasylum Feel So Alone, 1 :iconbluasylum:bluasylum 1 0 Them Bones, 1 by bluasylum Them Bones, 1 :iconbluasylum:bluasylum 1 0 Big Mistake, 1 by bluasylum Big Mistake, 1 :iconbluasylum:bluasylum 1 0

Random Favourites

everything's not lost by SohaliaK everything's not lost :iconsohaliak:SohaliaK 48 27 Any Time, Any Place by chocolate-toxicity Any Time, Any Place :iconchocolate-toxicity:chocolate-toxicity 31 13 every day is exactly the same by toko every day is exactly the same :icontoko:toko 46 8 dubble exsposhers by Mightyjew dubble exsposhers :iconmightyjew:Mightyjew 1 6 We're so far away. by H0PELESSxL0VE We're so far away. :iconh0pelessxl0ve:H0PELESSxL0VE 4 1 3X by ewolwe 3X :iconewolwe:ewolwe 156 25 XII by FourPumpkins XII :iconfourpumpkins:FourPumpkins 60 20 XIV by FourPumpkins XIV :iconfourpumpkins:FourPumpkins 48 16 Rock Jetty by CaterpillarOfAngst Rock Jetty :iconcaterpillarofangst:CaterpillarOfAngst 11 2 Under the Tree by ahermin Under the Tree :iconahermin:ahermin 241 20 i'll stand here for no reason by andyp89 i'll stand here for no reason :iconandyp89:andyp89 116 14 Huangshan - Heaven and Earth by superkev Huangshan - Heaven and Earth :iconsuperkev:superkev 135 32 days before you came by toko days before you came :icontoko:toko 156 54 Soft Whispering by onixa Soft Whispering :icononixa:onixa 549 82 Waterside by Immortal-Mynx Waterside :iconimmortal-mynx:Immortal-Mynx 14 4 heartache. by addrisiryanair heartache. :iconaddrisiryanair:addrisiryanair 50 45


Daisy by b4silio Daisy :iconb4silio:b4silio 5 2 Little bit of SunLight by allaboutbritt Little bit of SunLight :iconallaboutbritt:allaboutbritt 11 13 Snapdragon by KWilliamsPhoto Snapdragon :iconkwilliamsphoto:KWilliamsPhoto 17 9 Daisy by midKnightMuse Daisy :iconmidknightmuse:midKnightMuse 3 0 Daisy. by Anoya Daisy. :iconanoya:Anoya 49 86 Madelief. by Anoya Madelief. :iconanoya:Anoya 189 156 Daisy BW by mstargazer Daisy BW :iconmstargazer:mstargazer 58 25 Robin Silhouette by TheWo0odsman Robin Silhouette :iconthewo0odsman:TheWo0odsman 1 2



United States
Current Residence: western massachusetts.
Favourite genre of music: rock. hardcore. alternative. house. industrial. dance.
Favourite photographer: ian pouliot//nemesisphoto.
MP3 player of choice: silver 80gb ipod classic.
Shell of choice: anything unbreakable.

Portland, OR // The Big E

Journal Entry: Sun Aug 24, 2008, 12:18 PM

September can't be here soon enough. on September 12th, the Big E (aka the Eastern States Exposition) opens, and I plan on going on the 18th. then, the following week, on September 23rd..

..I leave for Portland, OR!!

eight blissful days away from this miserable state with one of the most amazing people in the world :heart: I just spent the past hour or so looking up stuff to do in Portland, and I found some pretty interesting stuff. the only things I really care to actually make sure we see (Josh, hint hint..) are: the Japanese Gardens, the Chinese Garden, and the Oregon Zoo. maybe The Grotto, because it looks magnificent.

in other news, work sucks. we're moved into the new apartment and the cable was installed yesterday (the Internet was installed yesterday courtest of myself, after being on the phone for two damn hours with Comcast). yaaaay. all the messages and what not are amazing, and I have over 600 deviations to look at (and you know I'll be looking at them all!).

alright. time to go. everyone, have a good week :hug:

Featured Artists

Featured Prints


Daisy by midKnightMuse Daisy by b4silio


I Support Love Stamp by JunkbyJen
:thumb28855915: love letter stamp by SheilaMBrinson
Homophobia is Gay - Stamp by padfootsmyhero The Gallery Stamp by Busiris
I Love Macs Stamp by Davidgtza2 :thumb78509844:
I love music Stamp by Creativeness If It Makes You Happy Stamp .x by muffinonie
:thumb57189155: 'Fat Ass Stamp' by setstage
:thumb56598315: I Love My Music ::Stamp:: by himiko-hedgehog
I Support Loud Music Stamp by Sora05 :thumb28672880:
Music by mistymoongrl :thumb47325132:
MUSIC LIFE by fraggle37 - I Listen To Alternative - by AbXorb
:thumb36348990: ::Insomniac Stamp:: by Sora05
Books Not Bombs Stamp by Silver-Dew-Drop Book Lover stamp by barefootphotos
Chuck Palahniuk Stamp by deadspaceheart I support writing English by FragileReveries
i .heart. converse by PinkNyu Converse ALLSTAR Stamp by Wasted14
Wanted by Pawnshopheart00

Journal CSS by ClaireJones
  • Listening to: Alexisonfire
  • Watching: something on the Discovery channel
  • Drinking: Stop&Shop flavored seltzer water


Add a Comment:
karyaazure Featured By Owner Apr 25, 2009
sarahkohler Featured By Owner Oct 5, 2008   Photographer
thank you so much for the favourite! it means a lot to me :heart: and i konw it was a while ago, but i haven't had the time to come on deviantart that much lately. i've uploaded some new photos though so check them out if you have time! how's everything going in the US? which part of the US are you in? i'm arriving in NY next friday! i'm excitied! eep! haha

kisses from hong kong :blowkiss:
karyaazure Featured By Owner Oct 4, 2008
alex-malex Featured By Owner Aug 25, 2008
thank you :aww:
heavenlybird Featured By Owner Aug 23, 2008
thank you for the faves:heart:
bluasylum Featured By Owner Aug 24, 2008
you are more than welcome :) :hug:
heavenlybird Featured By Owner Aug 25, 2008
aww :hug:
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