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About Varied / Student HNFemale/United States Recent Activity
Deviant for 10 Years
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Something There by R2ninjaturtle Something There :iconr2ninjaturtle:R2ninjaturtle 152 22 Goddess Maternity Gown by Firefly-Path Goddess Maternity Gown :iconfirefly-path:Firefly-Path 1,519 39 Silver Majestic Fox by eychanchan Silver Majestic Fox :iconeychanchan:eychanchan 626 23 Shie-Yst II by Culpeo-Fox Shie-Yst II :iconculpeo-fox:Culpeo-Fox 341 17 Pauline in School by jimathers Pauline in School :iconjimathers:jimathers 69 7 Tutorial: Study and Improvement by eychanchan Tutorial: Study and Improvement :iconeychanchan:eychanchan 878 69 Mission Cleared by PrincessPuru Mission Cleared :iconprincesspuru:PrincessPuru 89 4 endgame by shiniez
Mature content
endgame :iconshiniez:shiniez 2,014 117
It's all you, Douche Canoe by R2ninjaturtle It's all you, Douche Canoe :iconr2ninjaturtle:R2ninjaturtle 222 74 Caring Father?? by R2ninjaturtle Caring Father?? :iconr2ninjaturtle:R2ninjaturtle 266 58 Heart Burn Ch11 Page 16 by R2ninjaturtle
Mature content
Heart Burn Ch11 Page 16 :iconr2ninjaturtle:R2ninjaturtle 185 34
Nobody part 4 (finale) by kevinbolk Nobody part 4 (finale) :iconkevinbolk:kevinbolk 569 55 Nobody part 3 by kevinbolk Nobody part 3 :iconkevinbolk:kevinbolk 407 58 When they're still spelling your name wrong by R2ninjaturtle When they're still spelling your name wrong :iconr2ninjaturtle:R2ninjaturtle 369 60 Pennywise by briannacherrygarcia Pennywise :iconbriannacherrygarcia:briannacherrygarcia 6,844 379 Closer Than Close by Culpeo-Fox Closer Than Close :iconculpeo-fox:Culpeo-Fox 720 23
  • Listening to: Gone Forever - Three Days Grace
  • Reading: The Bazaar of Bad Dreams- Stephen King
  • Watching: Rick and Morty
  • Playing: Battle Fleet Gothic
  • Eating: brainssssss!
  • Drinking: Generic Brand Cola!

It's all gone.

Looking a little empty around here isn't it?

No, that's not a mistake or the page being wonky, my gallery and scraps have been cleaned out. By me. And I know it probably doesn't matter to the majority, but it does to me. So I'll talk here like it matters, as it is my final piece and all.

I've had this account since middle school, when I was posting my cringe worthy Naruto fan-art with my best friend. Since then I've watched myself shrink, I watched myself grow, suffer, live, and almost die. I catalogued my random thoughts and goings on in this space like it all mattered throughout some of the worst phases and places in my life. When I was thirteen and suicidal, sixteen and violated, and in my twenties and homeless (Three times. Talk about unlucky, eh?) Because in my head it did matter, even if nobody interacted with it, it mattered. And up until now, that was enough. I was happy and fine and enjoyed looking at my art and the art of others and it was grand.

And then within the past two years or so, I fell off the wagon. And I fell off the wagon because of some decisions I made and some of the people I chose to interact with. Yes it was a choice. It was a choice because I kept going back to it, and once you do that, it's no longer a mistake. It is a choice.

And it was those choices that wrecked me. I know I'm being very melodramatic but that's who I am damn it, and I like it that way. I spiraled into depression, hopped from couch to couch. And I made practically no art.

Until recently.

But I don't want to post it here. I don't like dA's policies and I don't know very many people who do. I don't like that my page did in fact spread, through my will or in spite of it. Because now, now, people I don't want peering into my life have an ickle little window with which to do so. And fuck it, I'm taking that away. This year and the next is all about me taking my power back. I've never been very specific or detail oriented about my life, save for one or two occasions. So it's not like anyone here, besides those keeping tabs on me, who know exactly what's going on. Tl;Dr : I came from an abusive home, I made the mistake of starting to date at sixteen (I was violated and then left him ) then I was engaged throughout the rest high school, broke it off, and began a string of bad decisions (home, finance, work, and people related) that ultimately I hope will make me a better person. Though I don't think drinking Denny's wine qualifies.

So I've packed it in. I'm leaving the account active because there are web-comics on here I'd like to be able to keep reading, and on the very rare off chance I decide to re-make, I want to be able to inform those (though the chances of this are like a million to one but hey I can dream) who are interested where it is I wound up. My journals will stay up too, because fuck they are a hilarious read. In my humble opinion anyway. Gotta love those ups and downs and pretentious opinions.

That's it I suppose. I like that I managed to finagle it so I ended on the big 5-0.

And don't worry. We'll be together forever, in this box.

I have a new platform, if you want it, you must message me directly. Either here, or, if you are the rare few who have me elsewhere, elsewhere is fine too. But you must message me directly.

Together forever. In this box.


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Mora0711 Featured By Owner Aug 31, 2017  Hobbyist General Artist
Its sad to see you go, but I can respect your decision. I know how some people can get. I hope everything works out for the best.
Blood-Lust3 Featured By Owner Sep 1, 2017  Student General Artist
Thank you kindly dear, it is appreciated
zestoneman Featured By Owner Jan 18, 2017  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks for the llama
Blood-Lust3 Featured By Owner Jan 18, 2017  Student General Artist
Thank you for taking interest in my work
CrystalDream1127 Featured By Owner Aug 2, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you for the llama :)
Blood-Lust3 Featured By Owner Aug 2, 2016  Student General Artist
You're welcome
Mora0711 Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Interesting page ya got here!
Blood-Lust3 Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2015  Student General Artist
Thank-you! I'm glad you found me :)
Mora0711 Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Same here. Sorry it took a while, I was house sitting for a friend while working this weekend, AND until Dad comes home from his trip, its my job to get the decorations up for Christmas.
Blood-Lust3 Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2015  Student General Artist
That's alright, I totally understand. I hope your decorating is going well!
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