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Life is a puzzle pt.3July 20 2010,I never had the intention to make you feel guilty, about anything at all.I'm so sorry Nemo, I guess maybe..I should be happy for you, but I can't.. not this fast.Every day, I think of him and you, I crash deeper into the unknown.Deeper and deeper in my own created abyss.I stood on the edge for far too long.Two years I fought with myself and kept myself from jumping.Pain and sorrow are all I can find, now that I'm soaring through the darkness.Perhaps this should be where the story ends.But it doesn't.. not yet."Why do we cling to such a pathetic existence.."I keep myself from falling the entire way down, with the aid of a single string.The last string of my heart, the last beating piece.One last break and I end it all..But you must always remember, when everything seems to be going against you, that the airplane takes off against the wind, not with it.And thus I keep seeking for the light, a little lost sparkle, in my darkness.Somehow I never stopped hoping
Life is a puzzle pt.2"There's an empty bleeding spot where my heart used to be.."July 2010I know it's too late now, but I wish I could change my past.I wish I never said hello in the first place, then just maybe this all wouldn't be necessary.Then all this wouldn't have happened.But time is ongoing and who knows what would've happened if I tried to change what happened long ago.A series of irreversible events would occur when the smallest change is made."Change one thing, change everything.."That is the butterfly effect.And thus we're bound to shape what is coming and forget or remember what has been.July 2010 began with a wave of intense heat, the sky was burning and I thought I'd literally melt due to the sun, which was burning like never before.No cloud in the sky.And so felt the inside of my heart, ever going, in peace, no cloud in the sky.But times change and storm will come sooner than one might believe.About a week ago, storm arrived, lightening striking fast and all I had left was the
Broken mirrors..I found myself again,A broken mirror in the corner of eternal darkness,A thousand faces staring back at me,Broken face, thousand tears..Falling,Breaking,My story ends..For years I believed love could heal,Power of love,Pain vanished when you were close to me,The kiss, I hoped for, never came..Falling,Breaking,My story ends..I loved you, so much,Would put my life at stake,Just to be with you,Hold you, care for you, ...Falling,Breaking,My story ends..Now I know,You never loved me,Never even cared for me..Fallen,Broken,My story ended..
ik hou van je - dutchsamen,met jou,dat lukt me niet,omdat ik je te graag,zie.ik zou je willen,willen knuffelen,en kussen,je hals en lippen,bewerken,met de mijne.samen,dat lukt me niet,nooit,omdat ik,teveel,van je hou.ik zou je willen,willen vastnemen,nooit meer,los laten,want,je betekent meer,dan je denkt.je bent de reden,de reden van mij,mijn bestaan.ik geloof in,'ons',maar verder,dan vriendschap,hechte vrienden,kan ik niet..ik hou van je..
N'mo, ik zie je graag..You're my hero,My unicorn,My bunny,My fairytale..If you reach for the sky,May I take your hand,And fly away with you?I wish I could hug you tight,Never letting go..Hoping you can hear my heartbeat race..