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anorexia_face your inner monster

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By blackwinged-neotu   |   
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© 2013 - 2020 blackwinged-neotu
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A2-colour-pencils-selfportrait from august 2012 (shortly after my hospital-thing).

i hate mirrors. they show a wannabe truth, which is at least a big lie.

all the stress, pain, depressive individuality being let me hunger myself nearly to death; and i didn't even recognize it until i was told to eat.

but nevertheless over the time (and with the help of a few beloved people) i've learned to accept myself.
although not to 100% yet...

neo
Image size
1600x2258px 3.83 MB
Comments49
anonymous's avatar
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skykunthedragon's avatar
skykunthedragonHobbyist General Artist
Wie so oft ein sehr emotionales und aufreibendes Bild das mir sogar etwas Angst macht. Könnte man echt als Gemälde in ein Horrorspiel packen weil es echt so wirkt als wäre es unwirklich... Wie geht es dir aktuell denn so?
blackwinged-neotu's avatar
blackwinged-neotuStudent Digital Artist
kranke zeiten führen zu kranken bildern.
bei mir hat sich nichts geändert.
wobei.... doch; es geht bergab, heh....
skykunthedragon's avatar
skykunthedragonHobbyist General Artist
Bitte melde dich mal in WhatsApp
jakrocker17's avatar
jakrocker17Student Traditional Artist
I just found out my fiancé is borderline anorexic. It's tough news.
blackwinged-neotu's avatar
blackwinged-neotuStudent Digital Artist
I'm sorry to hear that :(
Hope they'll be better and healthy again soon
jakrocker17's avatar
jakrocker17Student Traditional Artist
Thank you so very much!
A-Long-Story's avatar
A-Long-StoryHobbyist Traditional Artist
This is really poignant for me. I am currently trying to figure out how to talk to my roommate as he looks somewhat like this, and has expressed to me that he feels he looks like Alfred Hitchcock. Beautiful piece of artwork, I hope it was helpful in your journey. 
blackwinged-neotu's avatar
blackwinged-neotuStudent Digital Artist
Thx for your feedback.
I hope your roommate is going to be healthy again. I know it's really hard...
starfire-zorua's avatar
starfire-zoruaHobbyist Writer
Oh gosh, this is so depressing but so beautiful at the same time. This is a true gift, good sir...Damn, my eyes are misting over.
blackwinged-neotu's avatar
blackwinged-neotuStudent Digital Artist
thx for your statement.
hope it wasn't too disturbin'...
starfire-zorua's avatar
starfire-zoruaHobbyist Writer
No, definitely not! It really makes me scared to think of how easily it is to get to that stage.
blackwinged-neotu's avatar
blackwinged-neotuStudent Digital Artist
i think one of the most enemies of us is the media today.
then all the mental illnesses like depression, self-hatred, frustration and so on
starfire-zorua's avatar
starfire-zoruaHobbyist Writer
For most cases, yes, but for some, it was because of voices in the head.
blackwinged-neotu's avatar
blackwinged-neotuStudent Digital Artist
yep. i totally can imagine what you mean
*listenin' to mine right now*
1bookfish's avatar
1bookfishHobbyist General Artist
Oh my, incredibly touching piece! I love that it's a guy and not a girl. Although I am a girl myself, I understand that eating disorders are not only something girls struggle with, but boys as well. 
Although it is brilliant and emotional, I would probably put a moderately mature warning on it under "ideologically sensitive material" as a way to hide it and write "TRIGGER WARNING (or TW) : EXTREME THINNESS" or something along those lines. I definitely don't meant to be critical at all of this picture, it's just that the sight of someone who looks as though they're skin and bones can be very triggering for some people ^^; 
But honestly, this is one of the best pieces on eating disorders I have ever seen. It's very emotional and relatable to anyone who has struggled with one. 
I am very glad you are getting better, even if you haven't completely accepted yourself yet. I haven't either; it's a very difficult thing to do, and it's a slow process, but I know that it's possible. I wish you the best of luck and hope that you stay strong :huggle: 
blackwinged-neotu's avatar
blackwinged-neotuStudent Digital Artist
thx for your long and honest feedback.
the reason i didn't mark it as mature was that i wanted to show the cruelty of anorexia as it is.
but i'll think about a change, if it's disturbing like that.
1bookfish's avatar
1bookfishHobbyist General Artist
Ah, I see, well I understand that completely ^.^ it can be very cruel, so I see your point. Do whatever you like, it is YOUR art, after all xP 
I apologize if I seemed a bit critical ^^; 
blackwinged-neotu's avatar
blackwinged-neotuStudent Digital Artist
never mind.
your words were well chosen :)
TIINArt's avatar
This was utterly touching piece with the text alongside with it.Good job
blackwinged-neotu's avatar
blackwinged-neotuStudent Digital Artist
thx
:iconbowingplz:
ghostlyfears's avatar
ghostlyfearsHobbyist Digital Artist
amazing. there is so much power is this drawing
blackwinged-neotu's avatar
blackwinged-neotuStudent Digital Artist
thx
:iconbowingplz:
YuzaiNo's avatar
YuzaiNoHobbyist Traditional Artist
Ein sehr.. kann man es so sagen ..gutes Bild, der Inhalt wiegt mehr als die Technik, was wohl der Grund ist warum ich´s jetzt schon zum dritten mal angucke.
Jeder hat wohl einen anderen Bezug zu Spiegeln, was wohl ein merklich interessantes Thema ist *_* erinnert mich jetzt wo ich drüber nachgedacht habe an meinen Menschenfresser XD;;;;
komm wir wollen jetzt auch nicht tranig werden. *Mundwinkel hoch tacker*
blackwinged-neotu's avatar
blackwinged-neotuStudent Digital Artist
hochgetackerte mundwinkel....mh...
das wär doch mal ne gute idee fürn bild.
oder gleich ein cosplay ;)
danke dir fürs feedback.
hoffe dir gehts soweit gut
anonymous's avatar
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