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Meeting My Animation N Film Goals N Moving Forward w NEW ONES!
I am FINALLY finished w my Jackalope puppet animation films!
I actually DID the stuff I actually wanted to do! I hunkered down and DID ALL 4 Seasons, plus incorporated the bits I ACTUALLY wanted to incorporate. I've explored and learned more with Particles (3D CGI) in Adobe After Effects CC. And, I even have Trapcode & Cinema 4D now! I also have Video Copilot, and Houdini render! I'm hoping to get V-Ray & Octane Render also. But, NO I am NOT a 3D animator. I am an ARTIST. 3D is A TOOL, and NOT a substitute for art, nor artists.
Oh, Did I mention that 2 of my Jackalope films got 3rd Place on NewGrounds?
Despite my prejudices towards 3D/CGI "animation" I'm quite enjoying using particles.
I ACTUALLY got this to work! And, I mean NOBODY at UMASS Boston could understand it. It took me at least 8 tries when I actually managed to get it.
But, lets face it, Trapcode in After Effects CC is just SO MUCH BETTER!
(Using AE CC Particle World, Trackmats, and Masking)
I wouldn't have been able to accomplish that at all in just the regular After Effects particles.
I want to do more, and better, with Extrude as well. I couldn't get that to work, nor video tacking/mapping either in the summer. But, as they say "tomorrow is another day".
I do enjoy an experimental approach to animation and filmmaking currently, because I can learn and grow while also having fun doing it, at my own pace.
I will be doing a redux/redo/remake/reshoot of my old 2016 UMASS Boston film "Smattering Thoughts Also Flow" with the kinds of work, animation, and filming I actually want to produce, without any pressure or deadlines.
These are the #Inktober Butterflies I made for #inktober2018 and I will be doing all the parts of the film I actually originally wanted.
Here were the original Test Animation I made in 2017:
This will ALSO include the Boho Lanterns that I did. I might also be making a 3D/CGI lantern as well. (It's a thought... I already drew up the concepts)
As a Philosopher lanterns have a very symbolic meaning.
But, these butterflies will be my VERY LAST intentional puppet animation.
Once that film is completed, I will return to Traditional Animation FOREVER... well........... I'm NOT saying I WON'T being using vectors, and tweening, or puppets, but I'm just NOT a Tweening animator. I'm a Traditional Animator. I am NOT CGI's Bitch. CGI is MY BITCH! It is MY TOOL! I will use it to supplement my work, and NOT SUBSTITUTE IT.
The very programs being written to do all of these things will very soon BE REPLACING the very programmers that write them... but a COMPUTER IS NO ARTIST!
I AM THE ARTIST!
NOT ONLY is this MY TRUTH, but it is THE TRUTH!
DO NOT be an artist, nor an animator, for MONEY, nor for work! DO IT BECAUSE YOU CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT IT! DO IT BECAUSE IT IS YOUR HEART! No computer will EVER have a human heart.
I am hoping that within the next 2 years, I will be MUCH CLOSER to getting to where I want to be, in my dreams, my hopes, my wishes, and my goals, as an animator, and as an artist, and a filmmaker.
When the smith takes the ore to the forge, he must hammer & temper it first BEFORE it becomes hard steel. So, I'm HOPING this time period will be like my temperance and reforging. You never know until you try.
But, also it's like Odysseus on his Odyssey. It's a JOURNEY. It's a path. It's a Flow. I'm ON THE WAY. There's a door, or perhaps a few, somewhere down the line, and I'm gonna get there. But, this time, when I get to the door, I WILL PASS THROUGH IT. I never passed through it before.
One doesn't do these things because they are easy, BECAUSE THEY ARE HARD. There are MANY easy things one COULD DO. But, one could never KNOW what they could truly be, nor find that potential as actualized or manifested. The NOT KNOWING is far more unsettling. One could be content with doing n being the same as others, comfortably, but by LYING to Oneself dishonestly wrapped in subterfuge. Peace of mind is far more valuable than regret, guilt, and self loathing even if people tell you you are fine and good, and lure you there with acceptance.
A burger is never as good as a steak.
"It's like a finger pointing at the Moon. Don't concentrate on the finger, or you'll miss all that Heavenly Glory!" -Bruce Lee
One will never be satisfied with mediocrity if they KNOW they are capable of more, and better. If Once can FEEL there's something else, and something MORE, its because one somehow KNOWS this is a limited perspective at present.
I feel like I've grown so much in 2018 as a Filmmaker. I've gotten nearly all the kinds of equipment I wanted, Opportunities I wanted, etc. I'm always still growing and learning, but I'm at a point where I'm fine with where I am (even tho' there's always room for improvements) in video & Photography.
So, even tho' I have a lot of footage & projects to edit this coming 2019, on my own personal level, I'm bringing my focus more and more to my 1 true passion which is Traditional Animation. But, I will use 3D, CGI, VFX, and vectors to supplement this work, and NOT to replace it. Computers ARE TOOLS, they are NOT artists, and NOT Art.
2018, despite so many setbacks & delays, was a year of so many goals reached & accomplished.
It ALL STARTED with just some dreams, wishes, but also frustrations. I'm truly grateful to ALL whom helped me, and it really wasn't many.
I got the software I wanted, I did the test film "Maple Bacon" I wanted.
And, now I've been practicing the VFX I wanted.
All of these things are bringing me THAT MUCH CLOSER to making my Qilin film a reality!
All of the small goals, and concepts I had, and did, or will do very soon, are all there as a means to learn, practice, and grow, and build the skills.
There are no mentors, masters, and teachers out here to help me achieve what I want. But that doesn't mean that I can't be that mentor to others if someone has questions and needs help, or encouragement, along the way. I CAN BE THAT person who helps out because no one helped me, or I appreciated the very few whom took the time to help me.
Sometimes, those small acts of kindness really make a difference. Sometimes, just being true to yourself, and just sharing the art, and the work you do can impact others in ways you never thought would.
If you look around you, the entire society is collapsing. You can see it, feel it, even if you try to ignore it. I have seen SO MANY people in despair, and depression. I KNOW WHY YOU FEEL THAT WAY. (Look up the 5 stages of grief.) Know that you are NOT the only ones whom feel so bad, inside. The pain is real, the struggle is real. It's better to be open and honest about it, because they come in waves.
We don't have much time left on earth, or in this life, but it's the only LIFE WE HAVE, and it's RIGHT NOW.
One ONLY HAS THIS TIME LEFT. One ONLY has the rest of their life left, AND THEN IT IS OVER.
SO much of my own hard work and efforts to help out the world, and various other movements turned to ashes, and were undone with the stroke of a pen, the transaction of a check or a bribe, or the rigging of ballots. But, I CAN'T get that time back! It's GONE. OVER.
So, this is the time we have left!
The dreams are STILL THERE. The ART is STILL THERE. NO one owns that, and NO ONE can take it away from us.
No corporation owns ART nor ANIMATION.
One does NOT NEED money, nor corporate board rooms to favor one, as validation. After all those systems are collapsing all around you. Money itself isn't even real. You just BELIEVE it is.