Whoops! Actually did not mean to click notify watchers. But since I've got your attention, might as well let you know that I've uploaded this at a larger size.... except that it keeps defaulting back to a smaller size... wtf?
I've never had an RP go this hilariously bad before. Literally every bad thing that could possibly happen happened.
Me: I'm gonna do the thing!
DM: Roll it.
Me: -crit fail- Ffffaaccckkkk.
DM: Dang. Well... Very bad things happen.
Me: Fuck. I'm gonna do the other thing.
DM: Roll it.
Me: -crit fail- ARE YOU !@#$%^&*ING SHITTING ME!?
DM: -leans over table, stares at my dice- Have you pissed off any deities lately? Srs. WTF? Roll your luck.
Me: -crit fail- OKAY WTF NO. WHAT ARE THE FUCKING ODDS!? IS THIS REALITY!?
DM: -steals my dice, rolls them a few times. -success, success, crit success, success, success- Bitch, you cursed. ALL THE BAD THINGS EVER HAPPEN.
-Enter Friday, a guy known for having stupidly good luck-
Fri: I'm going to try and do the heroic thing and save this idiot before we all die horrible, torturous deaths.
DM: Ah. Mr. Crit Success to the rescue, eh? Roll it.
Fri: -crit fail-
DM: JESUS CHROIST, BITCH! DID YOU PISS OFF CTHULHU OR SOMETHING!?
Me: -falls out of my chair-
So yeah. ALL of the bad things happened. ALL of them. DM didn't kill any of us but he may as well have. Also, we did not get anymore gaming in after that. We pretty much spent the rest of the night just laughing stupidly at our hilariously bad luck.
Edit: Oh, and as if that isn't enough, this comes right on the heels of accidentally blowing up a Cthulhu game with napalm. My DM loves me.