Routines. Call it monotonous and dull, but having just a bit of structure can go a long way.
Recently I took a long look at myself and decided I must change the way I think and operate on a day to day basis if I want to realise my ambitions. Last year I tried to get another job, which failed, so that got me down, too. Since I couldn't change that at the moment, and the repetition of failed attempts was having a damaging effect, I looked at the little things I could control. It's all started from small, simple; some could consider trivial things; sleeping patterns, workspace alterations, reducing my video game sessions. That last point was a big thing for me, as I would easily play long into the god-awful hours of the morning until I could no longer keep my eyes open. What this resulted in was very unbalanced sleep patterns - I would usually get an average 5-6 hours sleep on work days, wake up with just enough time to get ready and rush into work. I would feel pretty shitty all day, and this just continued to have a knock-on effect with each passing day. To the point where I would need to take a nap for a couple of hours or fall asleep much earlier than I would typically. I didn't realise this until now, but it was hardly living. It felt like I had no time at all and the days kept getting shorter and shorter. Drinking a high amount of fizzy, sugary drinks in the evenings did me no favours either. As a result, I have changed when I have those beverages.
Now I get a reasonable amount of sleep each day, wake up ready for the day, not allowing fatigue to get me down throughout a long working day. Plus, the days do not feel as short as they were when I was in that cycle from before. And, ultimately, as a result, I have finally got my passion back for writing. I tidied up my workspace, and, oddly, found wearing headphones stinted my creativity. Instead, I stream a playlist of music I find relaxing to a speaker system. Two weeks ago I committed myself to write a story again. With this rejuvenating experience, I figured what better way than to work on the darling that initially got me going: Frenzy. I teased a couple years ago things were changing, well now I am putting them into effect. And it feels fantastic! Over the past two weeks, I have managed to write a short story's worth of text, and there is still more work to do! Every day I wake up wanting to add more! Even if it's just a few hundred words or a thousand, I am just so happy to be making progress with something that I am passionate about, even more so when I thought that spark had long fizzled out.
What has also helped is sharing the story draft so far with interested work colleagues. Some of the responses I have been receiving from them has had a substantial effect. In fact, I wish I shared my work sooner. Seeing someone eager to read more and pick up on the nuances of your work just makes me all the more determined to continue. It has a stronger effect than reading someone's comments on a webpage. Which I still appreciate, but when you can see the excitement in a person's body language and tone of voice, it gives you shivers. I am not getting ahead of myself here though, the feedback has been positive, but I also expect there to be critical responses in the future. In the end, I hope to publish the story and get it out into the world. I am taking it one day at a time, but the progress made and feedback so far has made me excited and hope to get it released in the coming months.
Watch this space...