My dad... Celebrating his life.

My dad just past away a few hours ago... here i am in front of the laptop looking at pictures past and thinking how things panned out.

Now i look about it that t doesn't mean that i don't mourn but but i shall celebrate his life in the memories and lessons that he thought me while he was till alive. He showed me about books, giving me the 1st novel that i read (James Clavel's Shogun). He gave me my love for science fiction and took me to watch my 1st star wars film and a lot of star trek. He loved things that flew and always sought the chance to watch a movie or a documentary about aircraft which he also passed on to me. He also liked coffee and was one of the reasons why i love it too. He shared with me his love with war epics and history of war and its machines. He shared with me the love for appreciating the machinations of Mario Puzo and the films that came after his books. He made me vigilant and fair. He also introduced me to eating Japanese and how to appreciate good cognac.He also imparted his love of spicy food whenever possible. His love of jazz and his flair for music. He always found time to sit down and teach me math even if i sucked at it.He loved dogs and he passed that to me too. He always had the time to kiss us goodbye even when we were asleep every time he left for work. He always patted me on the head or on the back when i worked late nights editing photos. He watched me become what i am now and he was always proud of what kind of a person i became even if i had my short comings. He scolded me and kick my butt when i was a kid but as i grew older i realized how that worked to make me the person i am now. He really made me the person i am today.

All my life i watched my father work himself to death just to pay the bills or provide us with the materials to go to school. Even if he was cut short he always found a way to find money for tuition fees and projects. It didn't mean that he was a father engrossed in work that he didn't have time for us but he was always there. Even to scoop me from the gutter or bail me out of a tight situation. for me hes still one of those dads who are heroes to their children which is something i find far less these days. While being away from us most of the time he never forgot to call us up and find out how we were. He always calls when he was eating somewhere good and missed us. He was always caring and loving as a father.

As for me i feel that i haven't gave him justice while he was alive nor now that hes gone... I was never to emotional about how i felt about family and our ties. Looking back i see him more of my mentor and teacher if you will. I don't blame God that he took away my dad and i thank him for letting my dad go in his sleep. Now i need to go back to Manila and attend the funeral and necrological services but something inside me tells me not to go, because i know only pain and suffering will i see there. I want to celebrate his life and not feel bad that hes now gone. I don't regret the last few days i spent with him here in Cebu becaue i already had a life time with him. I don't regret what could have been or what could have come to pass for i know things wont change.

Now I think of all the good times i had with him i try not to feel sad. I shall celebrate his life through the memories and laughs and joy of our togetherness. I wont say that i wont cry or grieve but in time i will move on and one day tell a story to my kids on how great my dad was and how he was and pass on the values and teachings that he gave to me.

I always wanted to say dad you were fast, but not fast enough... but it looks like he proved me worng again... this time he was faster than the rest of us...