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Literature
Veteran
I’m in a constant battle –
a battle for my soul
between what will make me feel good
and what will make me whole.
But whole does not mean healed,
and I can’t choose my fate.
I’ll fight the fight, make the wrong words right,
and search for love in hate.
My wounds have scarred and marred me;
I’m like a roughed-up piece of oak.
I feel charred and burned, and yet…
the embers stir in me... I awoke.
And now the flames burn brighter,
blocking out the sun,
and I can’t see my enemy
this war has just begun.
:iconBeyond-the-Pages:Beyond-the-Pages
:iconbeyond-the-pages:Beyond-the-Pages 3 8
Literature
Freedom
I dreamed I was a horse,
with glorious mane and tail
of silky, black hair,
and strong hooves shod with nails
I dreamed I ran across the sky,
with nothing in my path.
I crossed the moonlight on the water,
dipping toes in for a bath.
I dreamed I was a tidalwave,
moving slow and sure,
I created death and destruction,
illness and a cure.
I dreamed all of my dreams,
but inside I am so small.
my body shakes and trembles;
the slightest push shall make me fall.
I dream I am at home,
with mother braiding my hair.
I curl next to the fire.
I am anywhere but here.
I dream my body is my own,
untouched my strangers' hands.
I am not a prisoner;
I am not in an unknown land.
I dream I can speak my mother tongue,
with family and friends.
I dream with my eyes closed,
for I am at the end.
I dreamed of mother's arms;
of father's sure, strong voice.
I dreamed I was in another place.
I dreamed I had a choice.
:iconBeyond-the-Pages:Beyond-the-Pages
:iconbeyond-the-pages:Beyond-the-Pages 1 0
Mature content
Mister :iconbeyond-the-pages:Beyond-the-Pages 0 0
Mature content
Damn: A Discourse on Profanity :iconbeyond-the-pages:Beyond-the-Pages 0 0
Literature
The 'L' Word
I speak my piece
into the empty air,
and God knows
how you hurt me.
And the silence is deafening.
I can't hear you
through the screaming
in my mind.
The touch of your eyes
caressing my skin
still lingers
in the air around me.
I know the taste
of your scent on my tongue,,
and oh!
how I miss it.
Dishes broken,
and furniture smashed;
in my mind,
I burn you in effigy.
I can't take this on alone.
I was so close
to the end,
only to see
the finish line
disappear.
:iconBeyond-the-Pages:Beyond-the-Pages
:iconbeyond-the-pages:Beyond-the-Pages 2 0
Literature
71. Obsession
You are my
fantasy,
sensually stroking my
ego
and we go
everywhere together;
I have your back.
I'll protect you,
watch over you;
I'll make you safe
my precious,
delicious
darling
:iconBeyond-the-Pages:Beyond-the-Pages
:iconbeyond-the-pages:Beyond-the-Pages 3 0
Literature
70. 67%
67% of the time,
you make me feel safe.
But otherwise,
you terrify me
with your rages
and one of these days,
I’m going to be
100% sorry
I ever let you touch me.
:iconBeyond-the-Pages:Beyond-the-Pages
:iconbeyond-the-pages:Beyond-the-Pages 1 0
Literature
69. Annoyance
You irritate me
until I'm so desperate
to make you shut up
that I might just do
something I know I'll regret.
You should go away.
:iconBeyond-the-Pages:Beyond-the-Pages
:iconbeyond-the-pages:Beyond-the-Pages 1 3
Literature
67. Playing the Melody
You pluck my strings
with expert ease,
and I fall.
The song playing
in my heart,
an exquisite melody.
Come dance with me,
and we will soar
into our dreams.
:iconBeyond-the-Pages:Beyond-the-Pages
:iconbeyond-the-pages:Beyond-the-Pages 3 3
Literature
50. Breaking the Rules
Don’t tell me what to do;
I know how to live my life.
Why don’t you take a look
in the mirror?
Follow your own rules
before you judge me
for breaking them.
:iconBeyond-the-Pages:Beyond-the-Pages
:iconbeyond-the-pages:Beyond-the-Pages 1 0
Literature
36. Precious Treasure
Rubies and sapphires and diamonds –
Oh my!
But all that glitters
is not gold,
and all that sparkles
is not treasure.
So beautiful,
but in the end,
so pointless.
:iconBeyond-the-Pages:Beyond-the-Pages
:iconbeyond-the-pages:Beyond-the-Pages 3 1
Literature
37. Eyes (Wide Open)
I stretch my sight
to see the truth of you,
peering into
the abyss.
With eyes wide open,
I take a stand;
I light the way,
and watch each step
Take my hand
and walk with me.
My cat eyes
can see in the dark.
:iconBeyond-the-Pages:Beyond-the-Pages
:iconbeyond-the-pages:Beyond-the-Pages 4 0
Literature
73. I Can't (Keeping Up Appearances)
“I can’t”
are words that
I can’t afford to say.
I have to try
to attempt to fly
on broken wings.
They drag me down,
pull strands from my crown
and leave me a puppet on strings.
But I’m not allowed
off of this cloud;
I have to stay.
I don’t know what else to say.
:iconBeyond-the-Pages:Beyond-the-Pages
:iconbeyond-the-pages:Beyond-the-Pages 2 0
Literature
I Am Switzerland
I am Switzerland
I have
No problem staying neutral;
I'll stand my ground. 
And you may hate me
With all your might
While I stand between you
And your fight,
But you can't move me. 
I am a mountain;
Unshakeable. 
And you can keep trying
To cut stone
Or you can accept
What is out of your control.
:iconBeyond-the-Pages:Beyond-the-Pages
:iconbeyond-the-pages:Beyond-the-Pages 4 0
Dragon Egg by Beyond-the-Pages Dragon Egg :iconbeyond-the-pages:Beyond-the-Pages 1 0
Literature
Those Who Came Before
Remember those who came before;
those who died to settle the score.
Remember all the things you love,
and give thanks to them and God above.
Thank their mothers and their fathers
that they raised such sons and daughters,
who would give their lives for all us strangers
so we can live away from danger.
So wear a poppy, bright and red.
Leave no mourning tear unshed
for those we lost and those we loved.
They fought and died for all of us.
:iconBeyond-the-Pages:Beyond-the-Pages
:iconbeyond-the-pages:Beyond-the-Pages 1 0
Pictures, poetry, prose, oh my! :)

Random Favourites

Literature
Lost At Sea
Reaching
Searching for the warmth
That once enveloped us both
But maybe
Winter isn’t the only thing to have taken it
Feel your breath upon my chest
Its emptiness so old
Loneliness is cold within me
Where have you gone?
I suffer your body upon me
The beat of your core against
The vacated space where mine used to be
I remember the day
Always remember
The very moment I held my heart out to you
And our smiles lit up the universe as you stole it from my fingers
Now
I cannot sense your soul
You are not at home in your corpse
Lost at sea you’ve left me
Blue eyes distant and alone
Your voice tries to whisper those three words
But you choke on the sea water
And the days just get colder without you
:iconAedammair-Feline:Aedammair-Feline
:iconaedammair-feline:Aedammair-Feline 8 17
Phoenix tattoo commission by yuumei Phoenix tattoo commission :iconyuumei:yuumei 7,303 383
Literature
Not Really Mine to Run to.
Like a butterfly on a spring morning,
You graced my life with your presence
With your smile and deep-thought eyes,
You set me into momentary bliss
With your laughter and understanding ways,
You had me feeling light and safe
With your words of prose and helping hand,
You made me believe in myself again
With your soft voice and loving nature,
You captured my heart like no one else could
But like the cold winter,
Which sends the butterfly away,
Small differences set us apart
And that fine line of friend and love
Is the snow covering the leaves
Leaving me no place to go but where I was.
:iconMindofMyOwn:MindofMyOwn
:iconmindofmyown:MindofMyOwn 3 2
Literature
Ever Beautiful
I remember
You
Spinning beneath the autumn sky
The leaves a shower of red around you
They made your cheeks appear so bright
But even then
Your colour was fading
I remember
Us
Curled beneath winter blankets
Your hands so cold against my warmth
Fragility a barrier
Your smile tried to defy
But your eyes expressed the pain
I would listen to your heartbeat under the stale white sheets
I would hold my breath
Until I heard each beat
I kissed your lips and held my tears
I’d smile to your smile
And never voiced our fears
And the softness in your face
Remained ever beautiful
:iconAedammair-Feline:Aedammair-Feline
:iconaedammair-feline:Aedammair-Feline 13 19
Literature
Missing
I lost my ring.
Not the first I’ve lost by any means
but certainly the one that sent me most
into panic.  
My heart quaked at the empty space
on my left hand.  
I cried within for hours
as I searched over and over
in places I had already been.
Peering into corners, down plugholes of sinks,
no pillowcase left unseen.  
I grappled with my feelings as I tried
to keep my routines intact,
dismissed the loss as illusion
rather than as fact.  
Then came the fears, the silent thoughts,
suspicions of a different sort.
Had it been displaced as joke,
taken simply to provoke?
Later it was found.
It had rolled away, as rings tend to,
but it was safe and sound.
The relief was as the passing
of a sentence for death,
for the first time that day
I felt air in my breath.  
I lost my ring.
And in a world where such things abound
why was this one loss so profound?
:iconElairaHunter:ElairaHunter
:iconelairahunter:ElairaHunter 6 19
Literature
sprint
once, I could
idle on fumes
for weeks
but that
was then
now my very
bones sigh
with weariness
yet I
cannot rest
time has
become
my enemy
so I must
run ever faster
to the end
:iconBlueskye27:Blueskye27
:iconblueskye27:Blueskye27 25 57
Literature
Why?
You said to "keep in touch",
or "I will try to talk to you as soon as I can."
Your fake,
you betrayed me as a friend,
you dropped us like a piece of paper getting thrown out.
Or will you talk to us if you have nobody to talk with?
Why did you do that?
We won't know,
not until the next time we meet,
or not even at all.
:iconartfly101:artfly101
:iconartfly101:artfly101 17 18
Literature
Canvas
Canvas
I was born a blank canvas
Untouched by pain, untouched by love.
These arts I pin to myself,
These customisations I create
Are merely extensions of my being,
Truths and lies of which I dedicate.
Scars and dyes,
Metals and inks,
Style and pencil--
Expressions of the way I think.
No other object can identify this lifetime
Other than the life itself
And I have lived it
So I shall do with it what I wish.
fin
:icontheThanatos:theThanatos
:iconthethanatos:theThanatos 2 7
Literature
Underneath
Underneath a faded sky,
Lays a garden bustling with life
A little world where earthworms play,
And ants mill about,
Grasping for ground,
Searching for food
Underneath a faded sky,
Lays a garden of absolute beauty
Soil packed tightly by human hands,
Broken only by the trails earthworms left behind,
Grass poking its little head out,
Aching to be free
Underneath a faded sky,
Lays a garden with secrets all around
Plants with roots so deep,
Roots crammed so far into the earth,
That they have struck ancient bone
Underneath a faded sky,
Lays a garden now quiet and still
Whispers of the wind are all that remain,
Sprinkling pollen across the bare, naked soil,
It sings a small song as it kisses the ground,
Watching the faded sky become a glowing moon night.
:iconMindofMyOwn:MindofMyOwn
:iconmindofmyown:MindofMyOwn 1 3
Literature
Violet
try, try
i demand this of you
live, live
the life that you were meant to
if you fall,
i am here,
i will catch you
spread your wings,
you cannot fail,
i will not let you
breathe, breathe
let the fear pass through you
trust, trust
in love, the ones who love you
when you are lost,
be still and wait,
i will find you
in the dark,
have no fear,
remember, I am always with you
fight, fight
you can't give in now
rise, rise
above the questions and the doubts
even if the mirror lies,
trust in me,
that i will see you
through every change
of name and face,
i will always recognize you
:iconisobellefox:isobellefox
:iconisobellefox:isobellefox 2 1
Sunlight by geminibluedream Sunlight :icongeminibluedream:geminibluedream 1,490 88
Literature
Pulling apart for now
As the days dwindle to an end... and times are changing,
we will remember most of what's important,
what's to come,
what our future hold's.
We will remain true to  ourselves,
true to who we are at heart.
We will cherish these moment...and future one's that will come...as to be as what was never left.
For now we are pulled apart,
but with our memories to spare,
until we see each other again.
We will see all that has become and what will a future come.
:iconartfly101:artfly101
:iconartfly101:artfly101 13 34
Literature
The Big Things
Excuse me for placing stock in joy
And believing certain things
Hoarding abandoned hopes and dreams
Forgotten wishes and silver rings
So what if I plan my own epiphanies and revelations?
Sometimes fate is a disappointment
Sometimes chance leaves one wanting more
And I'd rather save myself the regret
If my output
Really is all the same to you
Just hold your tongue, then!
'Coz I'm gonna keep doing what I do
I can't really deal with the big things
My mind won't wrap around them
But I'm good with the little moments
That don't seem to mean all that much
When they add up
They define who we are
I'm no good with building alternate realities
I don't ever think that completely
But I can create a real person
Who fits perfectly into the imagination
And who justifies a reason for its' existance
Someone you see bits of yourself in
If my output
Really is all the same to you
Just hold your tongue, then!
'Coz I'm gonna keep doing what I do
If my reasoning
Is what makes you act so crude
I'll find someon
:iconCibbwin:Cibbwin
:iconcibbwin:Cibbwin 42 92
Literature
End Rhyme
End Rhyme
I don’t write in rhyme.
It’s not that I think it’s a waste of my time;
my letters are best chosen,
make the most of emotion,
the greatest devotion
to bring words forth in motion.
Hold you close, in the same spirit
I feel when I hear it
speaking from within,
speaking of angels or sin.
So I do not delve hard
into measuring the yards
or the meters or inches
which my pen stroke cinches
in little tightly knit weaves
to catch like rake catches leaves.
Can you hear in this letter?
Can you say that I’m better
when the ends of my lines
come together in rhymes?
I see the words rising out like the wings
of partridges cooing at the sun with its rings,
right at dawn when spears of light fire forth
giving battle to winter’s cold wind from the North -
that peaceful, dawn-breaking song of the dove
means more in this moment than war, or than love.
It’s a sound you can hear with your eyes as you read,
the image gives rise in mind you must heed;
not my meter, my rh
:iconhamletspants:hamletspants
:iconhamletspants:hamletspants 6 22
Literature
Love to Hate
Love to Hate
It has been weeks since I saw,
I spoke, I wrote to you.
The image of hedonism and strife
Strikes a seething in my heart,
Like a self-inflicting knife.
It seems so surreal now:
the way your eyes grinned at me
when I inadvertantly
said something amusing...

Only this time, it was you
Who caused the scars.
It was you who decided to discard
What we had, what we could have had.
The way your frangrance seemed
to permeate the air,
until all I could smell
was that scent that was so obviously 'you'

Legs bent loosely around mine,
Ice cold hands to indicate what you meant,
Shared drinks, hugs, secrets---
A kiss?
Wasn't all of this enough to insist
There was something there?
The days feel numbered now,
no more the sweet eternal smile
that spoke of love.

I suppose you did not care.
What was it to you;
if not love, then what?

If it was 'love' you spoke of,
If there was truth in those words,
You would have done everything in your power
To prevent me from
:icontheThanatos:theThanatos
:iconthethanatos:theThanatos 5 10
Literature
__
It was going fine,
Everything was getting better;
Nothing wrong anymore,
So much better than before.
Two pills today, two more tomorrow--
They made me feel... not as hollow.
Everything's going faster now:
There's a rush, a blast of something new--
                     They all knew what the nurse would do!
Time's transcending before me,
My hands, my chest, my tongue upon her,
Exhiliration whipping me - beautifully harsh.
But it hurts so bad, at the centre, at my heart;
It's pounding. Thoughts are pounding, hounding
Against reality.
Everything is going too fast, too soon,
Morning. Noon. Night. Morning. Noon---
And there's the knife.
There's nothing left, but to take my own
life.
fin
:icontheThanatos:theThanatos
:iconthethanatos:theThanatos 2 3
There are just so many pretty art pieces.... :heart:

Wishlist

Quiet Reading. by andokadesbois Quiet Reading. :iconandokadesbois:andokadesbois 1,591 79 Curiosity by TwiggyTeeluck Curiosity :icontwiggyteeluck:TwiggyTeeluck 2,308 131 Umbrellas attack. by Sandrita-87 Umbrellas attack. :iconsandrita-87:Sandrita-87 416 30 Life is gone by ssilence Life is gone :iconssilence:ssilence 5,521 816 Strawberry Swing by WildDragonsLuvBacon Strawberry Swing :iconwilddragonsluvbacon:WildDragonsLuvBacon 3 0
Pretty pictures I would get if I could. :)

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Hello everyone. I know it's been a long while since I've posted anything on here, but I find it cathartic to do so and my life has been very hectic of late. I won't go into extreme details for privacy issues, but the bullet points are as follows:

1. My mother has been struggling with cancer for months now, and there's a good possibility that there's some in her bones. I want to scream and break things, but at the same time I feel numb. She can't walk without crutches and her leg is hurting constantly. She's also the kind of person who gets joy out of completing tasks, so it's very frustrating for her, too.

2. I submitted the novel I wrote last NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month) to a publisher, and was offered a publishing contract, but I'm not going to do it; I did some more research, and aside from the fact that this company wants me to contribute 3,300 USD (which is like 4,100 CAN), they don't appear to have the best reputation when taking care of their authors. I'm still going to pursue publishing, but I can't afford to pay for it myself, and I want to go with someone who is reputable.

3. I have been working full time at a K-8 school for the last 3 months and I love it. There's never a dull moment, but the business comes in waves, so it's not constant. And the kids are great. I feel right at home.

4. I applied for and have been approved for an apartment. I'll be moving at the beginning of February, so I've got a lot to prepare for. This is my first time living alone. I lived in dorm for a couple years, but that was different. It's nerve-wracking, but exciting. I already have a lot of the things I need, and a lot of other stuff I can get from my parents. I think about 1/4-1/3 of the items I'll have to buy, including a couch and a chair, but those aren't the critical things. The kitchen things are the most important, so that's where my focus will be first. I also want to get a crock-pot/slow cooker. It will mean that I can throw stuff together the night before, and then just turn on the crock pot before I leave for work. Then, when I get home, I'll have supper ready for me. It's a lovely apartment, in a pet-friendly building, and it's only a few blocks away from my parents, so I can drop my dog off there in the morning for them to watch.

5. On the holiday front, I got some great gifts, including an old-fashioned mechanical type-writer. I love it, and I have no idea where I'm going to put it in my new place, but it will definitely be on display. It was totally unexpected, too, but perfect.

That's all that I have on my mind right now, but the cancer thing is what's weighing on me the most. If you pray, I just ask that you keep my mother in your prayers, and that whatever the problem be, it be minor and fixable.

Thanks,
-B
  • Listening to: Harry Potter & the Goblet of Fire Audiobook
  • Reading: Beasts Made of Night by Tochi Onyebuchi
  • Watching: How I Met Your Mother
  • Playing: Thief: Deadly Shadows
  • Eating: Margherita pizza
  • Drinking: Diet Coke

Journal History

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Beyond-the-Pages
Vicky
Artist | Hobbyist | Literature
Canada
I'm a college graduate in Library information and Technology, living in Canada. I currently work in a school library. I love reading and writing and I also enjoy photography. I have a quirky personality, and I sometimes overreact to small situations, but I love all my watchers and welcome everyone. :)

-Izzy

Personal Quote: There is more to a book than what is read on the page.
Email: beyond-the-pages@live.com (Note: Please be sure to say you're from dA in the subject line, or else I'll just end up marking your message as junk/phising scam.)
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haloeffect1 Featured By Owner Sep 16, 2018
Thank you...
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:iconjjjmadness:
JJJMadness Featured By Owner Aug 5, 2018  Hobbyist Digital Artist
 candlescandlescandlescandlescandlescandlescandlescandles
 Scalpel (Left)Tini EyeEyesTini EyeEyesTini EyeEyesTini EyeEyesTini EyeEyesTini EyeEyesTini EyeEyesTini EyeTini Vintage Syringe
      bunch of smiley facesbunch of smiley facesbunch of smiley facesbunch of smiley facesbunch of smiley faces Eyeball  bunch of smiley facesbunch of smiley facesbunch of smiley facesbunch of smiley facesbunch of smiley faces
      bunch of smiley facesbunch of smiley facesTini Cleaver (Right)  Tini Preserved Heart Moving Eye Ball Cup Cake 50x50 icon  Broken Heart  Moving Eye Ball Cup Cake 50x50 icon  Tini Preserved Heart Tini Cleaver (Left)bunch of smiley facesbunch of smiley faces
      bunch of smiley facesPill AvatarMoving Eyeballs Cake Type 2 50x50 icon Virtual Retro LED - HVirtual Retro LED - AVirtual Retro LED - PVirtual Retro LED - PVirtual Retro LED - Y Moving Eyeballs Cake Type 2 50x50 iconPopsiclebunch of smiley faces
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Tini Vintage Syringe leftTini EyeEyesTini EyeEyesTini EyeEyesTini EyeEyesTini EyeEyesTini EyeEyesTini EyeEyesTini EyeScalpel (Right)
 candlescandlescandlescandlescandlescandlescandlescandles
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:iconbirthdays:
birthdays Featured By Owner Aug 5, 2018
:woohoo: :party: :iconcakelickplz: !!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY !!! :iconcakelickplz: :party: :woohoo:

It's August 5th which means it's that time of the year again and your special day is here! We hope you have an awesome day with lots of birthday fun, gifts, happiness and most definitely, lots of cake! Here's to another year!

Many well wishes and love from your friendly birthdays team :love:

---
Birthdays Team
This birthday greeting was brought to you by: Viamie
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:iconstormythetrooper:
StormyTheTrooper Featured By Owner Aug 5, 2018  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Another Year another b-day.  Hope you're doing good out there :heart:
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:iconanisa-mazaki:
Anisa-Mazaki Featured By Owner Aug 6, 2017  Professional Digital Artist
:iconcuteicondividerplz::iconcuteicondividerplz::iconcuteicondivider2plz::iconcuteicondivider2plz::iconcuteicondivider2plz::iconcuteicondivider2plz::iconcuteicondividerplz::iconcuteicondividerplz:

Airborne Trophy Dance! Juggle Boogie!  Party :squee:Free Avatar - CupTardCake Sun HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! Sun Free Avatar - CupTardCake  :squee: Party Boogie!   Juggle Dance! Trophy Airborne 


Have some free (Celebratory) Art too, for your Special Day :) (Smile)
Candy-free Wallpaper 2 - Full by Anisa-Mazaki
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