Sleeping Sun

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betwixtthepages's avatar

Literature Text

Crickets, hidden
in hydrangeas, rouse
a sleeping sun.
For ~akarra ( :iconakarra: )'s Nature Haiku Contest.

Go check out the rules--click the above link!

May 30, 2012
© 2012 - 2021 betwixtthepages
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LiliWrites's avatar
This is beautiful! Excellent work. :)
Third-person's avatar
Manages to have a depth and complexity in it's simplicity. I know that may sound like vacuous nonsense but I mean it. I think this a wonderful Haiku
betwixtthepages's avatar
Thank you. I really appreciate the feedback, and am glad you so enjoyed the read. :heart:
ScottMan2th's avatar
evening storm...waking
silent breath across the fields
fireflies answer sky
ScottMan2th's avatar
always inspired by your words
PursuingTheCerberus's avatar
this is stunning! I've never attempted a haiku.

I love how your comma use. Really gives the piece intricacy despite its brevity.

And "sleeping sun" just makes me smile....we poets love referencing the sun & moon, don't we?
betwixtthepages's avatar
Well, you should definitely consider giving haiku a shot--they're difficult, but SO, SO much fun!

And thank you for the feedback! I am of the opinion that no matter how small a piece of poetry or prose, there should still be a sense of intricacy, drama, and closure, so I'm glad that that came off so well.

Yes, we do love the sun and moon, though I have to admit, I'm a bit biased--the moon is my favorite, EXCEPT when the sun is rising or setting. :)
PursuingTheCerberus's avatar
the moon is my favorite as well :)
ArthurCrow's avatar
A stunning gem, few words, yet so much.
autumnlit's avatar
I love nature, and crickets to bring beautiful songs. ^^
betwixtthepages's avatar
Thank you. :heart:

I love nature, too.
DamagedHomewrecker's avatar
so simply naturally beautiful
betwixtthepages's avatar
beeswingblue's avatar
This is a lovely image captured in an enviable few words. :heart:
betwixtthepages's avatar
Thank you, sweetie. :heart: I'm rather proud of this one, to be honest.
beeswingblue's avatar
akarra's avatar
Wonderful stuff! The image has a lovely amount of detail, and I'm thinking of the hydrangea itself as a number of setting suns.
betwixtthepages's avatar
Thank you! I hadn't thought of the hydrangea as setting, but I can see where that imagery is now that you've pointed it out. :heart: I'm glad you brought something new to this piece for me!
ExistenceWeSummonYou's avatar
Spectacularly important service these crickets are providing! I'll have to thank the next one I run across. And well chronicled, well chronicled. Lovely poem.
betwixtthepages's avatar
Thank you! It's definitely a great way for the sun to start the morning, I think. :heart:
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