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About Varied / Hobbyist Senior Member Elizabeth31/Female/United States Group :iconthe-haiku-club: the-haiku-club
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Forging Foundations
there is part of me that knows these walls
in the same ways I know
unrequited was the dream I used to tie my strings to,
unrequited was the hope I used to fill myself up,
unrequited is just a word I used to be friends with
because you've crooked your fingers
into the hooks of my jeans
and you've hooked my heart,
dangling, a stranger to safety
learning how to let someone lead--
there is a piece of me that fears these feelings
like I fear insects that sting, like I fear wildfires that rage,
like I fear porcelain dolls 
with cracked faces and scarred chests
because so far in this life,
all the beautiful things I've ever held
have come to me broken, or been forgeries...
strange heart I never dared hope to meet:
keep adding bricks to the mortar of my veins, please;
requited is a house I'm trying to build around myself
and you have made a stronger foundation out of me.
:iconbetwixtthepages:betwixtthepages 22 10
Flaming Moth
My heart is a campfire;
we're gathered like fireflies
to hear the eulogies of my drywall veins,
a silent nod to the flickering hope
that stubbornly clings to my breath beats,
my eye shine, my razzle and glow dreams.
You are quiet in your gasping,
a beacon I've set my destination for
but can't quite reach out to pull close--
like moon dust or phantom velvet or the softest of night sighs,
you slip through even the loosest clenched fists,
a will-o-the-wisp with an alluring face and an ever changing façade.
In my aching, I crackle and crinkle your name
across the typography of my skin,
a topographical error in lusting and loving
that I can't bring myself to regret
and yet can't sow a label to.
My bones are kindling;
I've snapped them into twiggy pieces
and soaked them with kerosene
just begging for the chance
to light the way home for you.
You are gentle in your grasping,
a quiet place of reckoning I'd like to taste;
hand me the matchsticks
of your just-waking, don't-quite-know-what-y
:iconbetwixtthepages:betwixtthepages 12 8
Face Update by betwixtthepages Face Update :iconbetwixtthepages:betwixtthepages 1 6
Mature content
Pillow Talk :iconbetwixtthepages:betwixtthepages 16 5
Something Worth Hoping For
My relationship with you is like a dive,
and I don't mean the
leaping from tall buildings
hoping to sprout wings
or spontaneously combust on the way down kind.
I mean my car got a flat
on the side of the road two miles passed
and I'm twirling the plastic ring
of a one-ply napkin
in a corner booth at the back
of a just off the beaten track diner
because I left my spare in your trunk
and I don't know how to handle a jack
and there is no cell service here, anyway.
I mean the payphone in the vacant lot next door
ate ten dollars worth of quarters
before connecting me.
I mean I finally got a dial tone
and then dialed the wrong number;
the lady on the other end
had an accent thick as gravy
when she assured me
she was not who I was reaching for
so I let the operator,
thirsty with rust,
suck down six more dollars before I tried again.
I mean I got your voicemail
and left a message,
but a half-ton truck chose that moment
to blare his horn and slow roll by
so you probably got only static.
:iconbetwixtthepages:betwixtthepages 13 9
Mature content
Nesting Doll :iconbetwixtthepages:betwixtthepages 13 10
the things history has taught you
hooded heart:
history has taught you
that men who hide their truths
are wolves who stray behind turned backs;
that leashes are only effective
when they don't hold knives to cut thin ties;
that whispered words and heavy gestures
mean more in dark corners
and you can't keep a wolf from hunting
when you're too hopeful to lure a snare
and trap them in their place.
past hurts dictate present fears--
you are cowed by the teeth memory flashes,
weak-tongued and vein-tied
in the face of seeding saplings:
an erasure of courage
more biting than the bruises of phantoms passed.
broken spirit,
history has taught you
that men who hit use words more than fists;
that bent backs shield open hearts
from the hardest blows;
that the only person people want
is the one they can mold you into
so you've forgotten--
or maybe you never learned--
how to let yourself just breathe.
just breathe, warrior woman--
history has shown you wrong,
but don't you let it keep you there.
:iconbetwixtthepages:betwixtthepages 17 8
dream dam(n/m)ing
mastering the art of razorblade words,
I lay emotions at your feet in offering:
an experiment in papercraft,
a cult of precise cuts
that set free and ensnare at once
today, there is a Phoenix rising
in these warbling, wavering veins;
she sings of hope in desolation,
she preens dew from the dawning,
she basks in the knowledge
that the only decisions she truly controls
are her own
in the deep, I sit
(a small bit wilted, a large part barren)
with my fingers cuffed and coiffed
snipping the darkest depths
and covering my fang-point fears,
and I envy her
:iconbetwixtthepages:betwixtthepages 6 0
Mature content
emancipating deadends :iconbetwixtthepages:betwixtthepages 10 15
heart speak
today, my heart has teeth--
they chew small holes around big names,
booby traps like sandpits
pitting self against words too huge to keep in
and too soft to let loose
because what-ifs are lofty
and I've had my share of hefty burdens;
liquid life force in titan veins,
this sledgehammer in my sternum  
(could cripple or crumble, reforge or inflame
the most secret sacred
of this pounding serpent tongue)
so I swallow and I choke
on hopeful wonderings
and instead slay the staying stutter
of a nimble
"nothing.  nevermind."
:iconbetwixtthepages:betwixtthepages 9 7
Bird Beats
Deep down, I know
love is only a four letter word--
that it can't hurt me unless I let it
and it won't hurt me if it's true--
but there's the whisper of a fluttering
between these battered rib stalagmites
and I, broken spirit woman
trapped in a chasm of bottomless breaths
and cracks forged from mosaic memories,
am afraid to give voice to the bird
only to discover my wings
have molted in the wrong hands once again.
:iconbetwixtthepages:betwixtthepages 20 21
a lesson in growing
spirograph specter,
there is a taunting tainting 
the abyss 
of this rib cage, this sternum,
these dreams
not to be reckoned with
but to be embraced
in the drowning deep of destiny,
I contemplate balances
and emerge unsteadied
every time
:iconbetwixtthepages:betwixtthepages 12 4
February 15th, 2018
Things I have learned this week:
I am human. I am not robot or machine, I am not made of metal or bolts. I will have bad days--days my emotions are out of control, days when I can't just "reign it in," days where I will fall apart.
This is okay. This is normal. I am allowed to breathe through those moments, I am allowed to BE in those moments.
And if those moments freak you out, or make you uncomfortable? You don't deserve to have me on all the other days when I'm fine.
I spent years pretending I was fine when I wasn't. And when I finally let myself fall apart, when I finally admitted that I'd been lying to everyone--including myself--some of the people I'd been most supportive of, people I thought could lend me their hands in return....decided they couldn't handle it after all.
I refuse to let myself do this again. I cannot keep pretending. I am not gears and wires, I am flesh and bone--and my emotions, no matter what they are, are valid.
:iconbetwixtthepages:betwixtthepages 20 13
balancing act
you balance a tightrope
between sternum and ribcage,
an anxious twinge away
from breaking the line
and plummeting steep
I am breathless, boldly clinging
one-handed from bony ankle
because I learned years ago
that falling only hurts
if you don't expect to trip
and damnit,
whirlwind you swept in
and blew my center out from under me
so tell me, heartwalker:
is your umbrella big enough for two,
or am I distraction
awaiting the day you shake me loose?
:iconbetwixtthepages:betwixtthepages 17 9
When I tell you I am tired
I mean it in vague shapes
and abstract corners,
I mean I am drowning in space
and hanging in silence,
I mean I need you to reach out your hand
and offer to help me
but I don't know exactly what that means
because there is an abscess in my chest
and it grows and it molds and it infects:
an infestation of emotions
I can't name and I can't wrangle,
a self-pitying pit
that I, girl against world,
can't quite reach the top of
and you, a raptor enraptured with confidence,
swear the answer lies in a jar
encrusted with dust
shoved onto a shelf--
I must have forgotten about
holding my head up instead of hostage
picking my feet up instead of sinking
not touching the ground when I walk
because birds have wings and I should be flying
but instead I am statue
stuck in the marble and the mire
of all my decisions
just trying to make sense
of the senselessness that beats....
that purges....
that takes over....
all that is me.
When I tell you I am tired
I mean the world is volc
:iconbetwixtthepages:betwixtthepages 25 11
Slanted Static (C.)
I am poetry
penned and gutted--
a half-slant half-cocked barrel,
a bullet nosediving (shot shy in the spotlight)
but awaiting the free verse of time.
I am poetry
carved from your soul--
a blunt sword swallowed by verse,
an arrow through an apple (a shot in the dark)
grabbed and broken by tradition.
I am poetry
stricken with silence--
I'll tell you a story
if you're willing to listen
of the blisters on my heart,
of the shadows in the dark,
of the spaces all my darts go to find motion...
but you have to be ready to take the fall
and trust the shattering.
I am poetry
bogged down with bruises--
tearing pieces from bones and souls
and framing turmoil in fool's gold,
turn your heart's ear towards me
as I sing battle cries,
whilst ripping into you with my bare hands...
cease crying and embrace the abyss.
I am poetry
fanned and flaming--
a tethered feather of hope,
a marionette ravaged and rickety,
a fidgeting figurine
blown from sea glass and lofty dreams
waiting for you to wake
and guide you
:iconbetwixtthepages:betwixtthepages 18 18

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YouInventedMe Featured By Owner Mar 8, 2019  Hobbyist Writer
Happy Birthday! :cake:
Malintra-Shadowmoon Featured By Owner Mar 8, 2019  Hobbyist General Artist
Happy Birthday :heart:
Riemea Featured By Owner Mar 8, 2019  Hobbyist General Artist
Happy Birthday!! I hope you have the most amazing day ever! :hug:
slenderblade Featured By Owner Mar 8, 2019
:tea: :cake: :hug:
DeeryDeerth Featured By Owner Mar 8, 2019  Hobbyist General Artist
Happy birthday, and may your new year of life be more beautiful than the last!
hell-on-a-stick Featured By Owner Sep 7, 2018  Professional Writer
Im a dusty satan, yes i is.
slenderblade Featured By Owner Aug 15, 2018
specialized666 Featured By Owner Aug 4, 2018  Professional Interface Designer
Amazing works, have a nice day :D
creativelycliche Featured By Owner May 2, 2018  Professional Writer
Just stopping by to remind you you are lovely, and a positive light in the world. Keep being you :hug:
betwixtthepages Featured By Owner May 2, 2018  Hobbyist General Artist
Awww, sweetheart--thank you so much.  I am so so deeply appreciative of your kind, thoughtful message.  :heart:
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