I grew up in a pretty good household. But at some point it grew very controlling.
But I wanted to share some info to help people who have been in such situations or still are in these situations.
The main goal is recognizing when it's too much. Everything feels like a lot when it happens, but you have to look at it from an outside angle. From afar, not when you're feeling like you do in the moment.
The following page is from Seattle Times News. The page describes what is too much. It also describes what is labled as "emotional inscest". But keep in mind not every case is as serious as this. Mine wasn't to that extent, but mine was to the point of being controlled as if they were entitled to me like their own personal object. But they didn't throw me around like an object. But if I did something that was seen as human, A mistake, it was the end of the world.
Adult Children Need Boundaries From Parents
The next page I will introduce to you, teaches you how to grow away from a situation and gain independence.
My experience, my parents would never try to bring harm to me. In their eyes they didn't. The only harm I received was mental. Mental pain is just as real as physical harm. People tend to overlook that emotional abuse is in fact a issue. They never tried to be abusive, I have confronted them since, and have been able to open a lot up after I initially moved away from their household. What they didn't realize, they were making me fearful, mainly one of my parents is in question to this. Fearful, anxious, and full of a form of rage I wouldn't let out on anyone else. I developed fear of anyone, and everyone. Even children, people who were younger than me. It hindered me as far as being incapable to speak to a store clerk, a dentist or doctor, or even simply a teacher. The anxiety just grew to where I'd fear being near people. Even small gatherings was too much and I would go in an anxiety attack.
The hardest part was leaving such a situation to grow. I found someone to talk to. I spoke with them for probably a few years. When I was in school, I would have a quiet room to go to. I never left it unless I had to. If classes were to much, I went there. I also couldn't attend any social school events. Whenever I couldn't go to that room, I would have permission from the superintendent to sit them out, as far away as needed. They allowed me to go where ever was seen as fit for me, with the most of their request was either someone to be there, or be near a camera because of school policies for safety.
As I grew to know this person, they helped me with home issues and school issues. If i needed to walk, we would go outside and walk. Anything I could of needed.
After my time at school ended, I still was permitted to see her. I met her where she'd go during the day. She helped me gain my independence by doing things to help me. Even if it was simply going to the store, to gaining my financial independence. She helped me gain confidence again, and when I left I became stronger. I became who I once was back before those issues arised, and other issues that I am not comfortable sharing publicly with the community. After I moved away, I found others I could rely on, and trust. And I owe them everything I can ever give.
How to Deal with Controlling Parents. (And How to Set Your Own Independence)
In final, if you, or anyone you know, is in this situation this could help them.
If you simply need someone to talk to, I am more than willing to help. The only thing I would require from you is the will to try.
In fact, if you've been in any hard situation or just need a friend, I will not reject you. Feel free to speak with me, and let me be your friend. I love to help others, especially out of hard situations.