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Writing excuses last week (www.writingexcuses.com/2012/10…) had a really cool line: think of the pitch for your story before you start writing. If you can't think of a good pitch, there might be something wrong with the story.
And given my trouble with The World's Other Side ("A terrorist falls in love"? "Aborigines conquered the world"? "A language teacher comes to terms with the primitive culture of English-speaking Christians"?) I tend to believe the Writing Excuses people are onto something.
So here are the projects currently on my horizon, more or less in order of completeness.
1) Groom of the Tyrannosaur Queen (bensen-daniel.deviantart.com/g…): "The greatest warrior in a savage world steals a weapon, and discovers the weapon is a woman from the future." Conan the Barbarian meets Battlestar Galactica, more or less literally.
2) New Frontiers (bensen-daniel.deviantart.com/g…): "When a high-level alien investor dies on Earth, inter-species sex-worker must find the real murderer to prevent the enslavement of humanity." David Brin channels Alfred Kinsey.
3) Songs of Glory: "A spy and enchanter for the Ottoman empire uncovers a nest of rebels and a magical artifact of frightening power." James bond kills people with his mind and works for the Sultan.
4) Router (fav.me/d48lws4): "A party of investors, scientists, and adventurers bushwhack their way through an alien world." the Louis and Clark of speculative biology
5) Children's Crusade: "When you beat a kid, it might make them love you. Or it might make them hate you. Guess which kind I am." Only children can do magic, which does not make a happy world for children.
6) Voyage of Discovery (bensen-daniel.deviantart.com/j…): "Baldomir, apprentice to the Rhomanian Strategos, flees Stamboli just ahead of the Chorazmian cannon. He runs so far, in fact, that he discovers a New Continent."
7) Competition: "A jumping gene disease has made different populations of humans unable to interbreed. Someone has to figure out how to broker peace amongst people who can't have babies with each other."
8) Kill the Angels: "A crypto-atheist plots the assassination of a powerful local angel."
9) New World (bensen-daniel.deviantart.com/g…): "A widlife artist trying to stop the exploitation of a newly discovered world finds himself stranded with a group of determined settlers."
10) Birthing Ghosts: "The ghost of a recently departed king attempts to stop the outbreak of civil war in his kingdom, while magicians work to blur the line between the Living, the Dead, and the Divine." AKA The Heike Monogatari, but fun.
11) Connecting people (bensen-daniel.deviantart.com/j…): "A great Hellenic general stumbles across a magical artifact that puts him in contact with the Heavenly Emperor of China. Neither are pleased."
12) Those who Can't: "A hilarious practical joke strands a professional wizard in a foreign country, where to survive he must teach his secrets to others." A Wizard of Earthsea meets Community.
13) My name is Zmey: "A peace corps volunteer in Bulgaria runs afoul of the local mythology." Turns out lizard-people have been controlling us since before history. Who knew? Also romance.
14) Cytopolis: "A girl stumbles into a library where strings of words make people, machines, and monsters." If Niel Gaiman studies biochemistry.
15) Evil Eye: "A family moves to the big city, where they find the powerful Evil Eye works somewhat differently from back in the village."
16) Zoo of Peoples (bensen-daniel.deviantart.com/j…): "Applied social theory has saved humanity a dozen times. But is perfect social engineering worth the cost of social experimentation?"
17) Let us eat them: "A democratic revolution wracks a kingdom where aristocrats gain power through cannibalism." (and special bonus: the real life Tiv people believe that a person's charisma or ability to bend the wills of others is an actual physical substance called "tsav" which is excreted by the heart. You can gain tsav by eating it
Which ones sound most interesting? Any other suggestions in pitch-writing or things I need to clarify?
And given my trouble with The World's Other Side ("A terrorist falls in love"? "Aborigines conquered the world"? "A language teacher comes to terms with the primitive culture of English-speaking Christians"?) I tend to believe the Writing Excuses people are onto something.
So here are the projects currently on my horizon, more or less in order of completeness.
1) Groom of the Tyrannosaur Queen (bensen-daniel.deviantart.com/g…): "The greatest warrior in a savage world steals a weapon, and discovers the weapon is a woman from the future." Conan the Barbarian meets Battlestar Galactica, more or less literally.
2) New Frontiers (bensen-daniel.deviantart.com/g…): "When a high-level alien investor dies on Earth, inter-species sex-worker must find the real murderer to prevent the enslavement of humanity." David Brin channels Alfred Kinsey.
3) Songs of Glory: "A spy and enchanter for the Ottoman empire uncovers a nest of rebels and a magical artifact of frightening power." James bond kills people with his mind and works for the Sultan.
4) Router (fav.me/d48lws4): "A party of investors, scientists, and adventurers bushwhack their way through an alien world." the Louis and Clark of speculative biology
5) Children's Crusade: "When you beat a kid, it might make them love you. Or it might make them hate you. Guess which kind I am." Only children can do magic, which does not make a happy world for children.
6) Voyage of Discovery (bensen-daniel.deviantart.com/j…): "Baldomir, apprentice to the Rhomanian Strategos, flees Stamboli just ahead of the Chorazmian cannon. He runs so far, in fact, that he discovers a New Continent."
7) Competition: "A jumping gene disease has made different populations of humans unable to interbreed. Someone has to figure out how to broker peace amongst people who can't have babies with each other."
8) Kill the Angels: "A crypto-atheist plots the assassination of a powerful local angel."
9) New World (bensen-daniel.deviantart.com/g…): "A widlife artist trying to stop the exploitation of a newly discovered world finds himself stranded with a group of determined settlers."
10) Birthing Ghosts: "The ghost of a recently departed king attempts to stop the outbreak of civil war in his kingdom, while magicians work to blur the line between the Living, the Dead, and the Divine." AKA The Heike Monogatari, but fun.
11) Connecting people (bensen-daniel.deviantart.com/j…): "A great Hellenic general stumbles across a magical artifact that puts him in contact with the Heavenly Emperor of China. Neither are pleased."
12) Those who Can't: "A hilarious practical joke strands a professional wizard in a foreign country, where to survive he must teach his secrets to others." A Wizard of Earthsea meets Community.
13) My name is Zmey: "A peace corps volunteer in Bulgaria runs afoul of the local mythology." Turns out lizard-people have been controlling us since before history. Who knew? Also romance.
14) Cytopolis: "A girl stumbles into a library where strings of words make people, machines, and monsters." If Niel Gaiman studies biochemistry.
15) Evil Eye: "A family moves to the big city, where they find the powerful Evil Eye works somewhat differently from back in the village."
16) Zoo of Peoples (bensen-daniel.deviantart.com/j…): "Applied social theory has saved humanity a dozen times. But is perfect social engineering worth the cost of social experimentation?"
17) Let us eat them: "A democratic revolution wracks a kingdom where aristocrats gain power through cannibalism." (and special bonus: the real life Tiv people believe that a person's charisma or ability to bend the wills of others is an actual physical substance called "tsav" which is excreted by the heart. You can gain tsav by eating it
Which ones sound most interesting? Any other suggestions in pitch-writing or things I need to clarify?
Fellow Tetrapod
Alright, here we go! My speculative-evolution serial novel Fellow Tetrapod is finally live on Royal Road. Go check it out. If it looks like your sort of thing, follow the story. It updates every weekday. (if you want to know more…) Koenraad Robbert Ruis used to be a paleontologist, but now he’s a cook at the United Nations embassy to the Convention of Sophonts. His bosses must negotiate with intelligent species from countless alternate earths, and Koen must make them breakfast. It turns out, though, that Koen is rather better at inter-species communication than any other human in this world (all nine of them). Everyone loves to eat (certain autotrophs excepted). Fellow Tetrapod is an speculative-evolution office comedy about food preparation, diplomacy, and what it’s like to be a talking animal. Serialized every weekday on Royal Road (https://www.royalroad.com/fiction/59198/fellow-tetrapod) and (one week earlier) Patreon(https://www.patreon.com/danielmbensen) Cover art by Simon
The Cicada
So, there I was, stalking the East Aegean cicada*. Its insistent, gearbox cough rose out of the electric pulse of the other insect life on the hillside behind the restaurant in northern Greece. When the buzzing stopped, I knew I was close, but it still took me another minute of looking before I picked it out against the bark of a sycamore**. The bug's spotted olive-gray shell matched the tree perfectly, but its symmetry gave it away. I called over Maggie and her cousin and pointed the cicada out to them. They went off to find a half dozen cast-off molts. I showed them the folded, piercing mouth-parts, telling the girls how the nymphs suck sap from tree roots until they climb out of the ground and molt into adults with wings but no mouths. If that's a metaphor, I don't want to use it. And I don't have to! Doing research for this newsletter, I found out that at least some adult cicadas do feed. Anyway, so do I. The reason we were at this restaurant in the first place is because I was
Doing Good
So there we were, giving this stranger 200 leva. "What? Are you serious?" He wasn't being sarcastic. He really wanted to check that what he thought was happening was actually happening. His face scrunched up, trying not to cry. That was when I was finally sure this wasn't all a scam. read on
Congratulations, Your Nightmare Came True
(see posts like this a week earlier on my Patreon for $1 a month) Our little blue car emerged from the tunnel and hummed up Botevgradsko Boulevard. To our left: a mural of chains melting off someone's forearms. The kids were looking out the windows, there was nobody to interrupt us and nothing that needed cleaning, and I relished the ability to complete a thought. "Ha!" I said. "What?" asked Pavlina. We stopped at a red light. "Congratulations," I said. "My nightmare came true. I've been called a racist on the internet." "Well, not exactly," said Pavlina. "Okay, I was called – " I corrected myself, " – my work was called 'problematic' in an email. That's like halfway there. That's a benchmark." "Yeah, okay. Congratulations." She wasn't being sarcastic. We turned and headed south toward Mount Vitosha, and I burned with joy. (see pictures and good formatting here: https://www.patreon.com/posts/63082454 ) In Man's Search for Meaning, psychologist Viktor Frankl talks about his brand of
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I like the sound of Evil Eye and My Name is Zmey - apart from the thing about Bulgarians liking it, I think non-Bulgarians will appreciate a bit of authentic local colour.