A word about suicide...

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BecauseNevada's avatar
I still don't think it's quite hit any of us yet... I don't know if anyone realizes how real death is...I don't realize it either.
Yesterday morning a girl I know committed suicide.
Feels weird to say that. Like I said, it hasn't quite hit any of us yet.
I didn't know her very well, but from the times I did talk to her, she was super sweet. I never had a problem with her. I always thought she was pretty. But I never said it...who just goes up to someone and says "Man, I think you're really pretty."
That's the problem with our world. We don't truly care about people until they're gone. Now I really wish I could go back a couple days and tell her she's beautiful. Tell her how much I love her colored hair. Two days ago, the last day anyone saw her, I distinctly remember seeing her outside walking to her bus. I was on my bus, looking out my window, and her colorful clothing caught my eye. I remember wanting to jump out of the bus and ask her where she got her awesome pastel colored argyle sweater and blue skirt. I didn't do it. Who in their right mind would do that? However, if I had known that she was plotting something devastating for herself, I would have leaped out of the bus in an instant. I wish everyone could have the ability to care while people are alive. While people are still here. Now she'll never know what everyone truly thought of her. The only people's thoughts that she believed were the people who bullied her and pushed her over the edge. It's saddening that mean people aren't afraid to put people down, but good people are too afraid to lift people up. Not until they're dead anyway.
Let me say a little thing about suicide. Some people believe it's their only escape. Teenagers especially; they never look past their teenage years or think about their adult life. And these teenagers don't live to see their adult life. They are not cowards, they are just confused. They settle on a permanent solution to a temporary problem. For some people, life is hell, and that is their temporary problem. As Lynyrd Skynyrd put it, "Troubles will come...and they will pass." Those who take their lives don't think about that - their problems passing. It's not like they don't want to live though. Yesterday, a friend of mine posted a status on Facebook saying "I will not mourn those who don't want to live." Many people found this post to be very disrespectful, and perhaps rightfully so, but here's what I have to say about it. No one wants to die. No one especially wants to be the one that ends their own life. As a child, you probably looked forward to the future with sparkling eyes and wondered, "What kind of person am I going to be in the future?" You had big dreams and a wide smile permanently engraved on your childish face. And not once did you ever think, "When I'm fourteen, I'm going to kill myself." That thought never came to you. However, we live in a world where bullies and careless people can make you think that thought. It's disgusting. Sickening. Disheartening. No one wants to die. It's other people that make them do it.
Suicide should never be an option.
But that doesn't matter now. All that matters now is the fact that she is gone...and we are never going to see her again. That unique girl with the colored hair and the pastel argyle sweater.
I am sorry for everything that ever happened to her to make her give up on her dreams and her future. I'm sorry for whatever made her think that her beautiful personality and looks weren't worth saving. I'm sorry for everyone who yesterday lost a daughter, a cousin, a best friend. I'm sorry for everyone who has ever thought that the world would be a better place without them.

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