Made From Scratch

...And that's how Equestria was made!
Now 'ang on a second! You can't just plop that "that's 'ow Equestria was made" nonsense on our laps and expect us to swallow it!
So the big bang happened... then what?  Our whole universe was in a hot dense state, then nearly fourteen billion years ago-
expansion started.  Wait... Earth ponies were pretty cool, the autographs began to drool, oni-chan developed tools, we went AWOL.
We invented Spearmint  Mad science, histarectomine, forgetting every line to speak- that all started with a big bang!
ALLAHU AKBAR!  ALLAHU AKBAR! ALLAHU AKBAR!!!
Great. Now ah gotta gather all this matter and remake the universe. Jerks.  Alright, I'm back. Wait- what happened to this thread?
A dawn of billions and billions of suns, apparently. Guess I may as well make that apple pie from scratch. Won't I need a body first?
Oh there'll be plenty o' time fer that. We got all the time in the world- Well; ya know what I mean, right?


Background (Panel 1-4) by BobtheLurker, I claim ownership of all other art assets.