Beatfox

So yeah, I'm still alive and all that. Considering that I've been on DA since 2003, it's kinda ironic that this is my first journal posting.

As you've probably noticed, I haven't submitted much art for the past few years (not that I ever submitted all that much in the first place). I'd like to change that somehow; I feel like I definitely have some potential in the field of art (as a hobby, at least), and I think it would be beneficial for me to exercise and grow that ability. Problem is, all my past efforts to get myself arting regularly have failed. I need to figure out what I can do differently to keep that habit going.

One of my biggest obstacles is time. Art is not a central focus in my life, and it seems like I have so many other things going on that there's no room to fit it in. In truth, I know it's more a matter of time management and motivation. That's not to say that available time isn't a factor, too - I'm not gonna have anywhere near the amount of time for art as someone who's made it a central focus in their life would - but I do know I've got free time during the week that I choose to spend on other activities instead. So I need to learn to organize my time better, and I need to make time slots where I devote my time to doing art in place of other, less work-intensive things I would like to be doing. The task list app I have on my iPod is starting to make the time management thing a little easier, at least.

Second, I need to learn to be comfortable making ugly, unpolished stuff. This REALLY goes against my perfectionist nature - I still find myself resisting the idea of making a drawing in an hour or 2 that isn't one-tenth as good as a piece I spent over 20 meticulous hours on years ago. ("THIS is improvement??") Guess this is just one of those "do it and deal with it" things... probably best to view it as an exercise in humility, heh. 

Third, I need to be realistic with my goals. I've made the horrible subconscious expectation of skill level being a direct function of age - and that's extra horrible when many of my favorite artists are half my age and more skilled than a simple part-time hobbyist like me could ever realistically hope to be (and the opposite gender, though I like to think that has more to do with cultural ideals than anything else).

Finally, I've always been in the habit of working in a vacuum. I think I need to get more connected with people who will keep me going and who I can encourage in turn. People need other people to hold them accountable to their goals, teach them, and give them feedback and support, regardless of how old they are or how much experience they have. It's taken me far too many years to realize that.

Mmmmmmmmm thinking out loud argleblarglelessthinkingmoredoing sdjfkkdldfaskdfl... Thoughts? Suggestions? Wiffle bat thwackings? <.<