literature

The Silent Dark

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bbd127's avatar
By bbd127
7 Favourites
12 Comments
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Literature Text

She danced atop a candle
A lady of the flame
Her eyes were bright and burning
And Fire was her name.

She saw the gentle Darkness
And in delight, she cried
"My love! My dear! My darling!
Why do you turn and hide?"

She stretched her arms to catch him
To feel his cool embrace
But he pulled back in silence,
Refused to show his face.

She sang, she begged, she pleaded
She wrapped herself in light
But he refused to touch her -
His cloak was of the night.

The greater was her passion,
The more he shrank away
Unmoved, in mute detachment
By all she had to say.

And when the candle flickered,
And when her flame went out,
And when the wick extinguished,
When Fire drowned in doubt,

'Twas then he came to hold her
To whisper in her ear:
"Why spoke you in a language
I could not bear to hear?

I loved your gentle beauty,
I listened to you sing;
You were my queen, my lady;
I could not be your king."
This is one of my older poems, so it's a little less polished, but I've had some positive reaction to it so I'm putting it up anyway.
Published:
© 2005 - 2021 bbd127
Comments12
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ugly666's avatar
wow i loved your poem and the fire queen witha dark man that couldn't be her king. :)
The poem is dancing, it really does. Even I, a Dutchman, can understand your poem perfectly. This is a fav.
tantricmelody's avatar
usually i am not a fan of poetry with end rhyme but this one is beautiful and i love it!
Applesourjellybeans's avatar
Your poetry is stunning........ just stunning...... I can't begin to express how much I envy you.

Your vocabulary is very broad but use with modesty, you can hold rhymes spectacularly...... there are barely any flaws. You grasp the reader with rythms so beautifully told...... and the plot itself has such depth and beauty...... I could go on, but I'm doing your writing no justice, because it's something that can't be described.

I sincerely hope you write lots more, you have such a talent, I'm definately adding you to watch.

............. Maybe I should write it on paper, burn it, and snort the ashes :D
bbd127's avatar
ROFL @ the last idea there. Funniest thing I've heard all day! :D And thank you very much for your wonderful comment.
Applesourjellybeans's avatar
:blushes: Thankyou, and it's no problem :) I only wish I could say more ^_^
jphnx22's avatar
fascinating piece of art!
Sienna-Maiu's avatar
it seems profound...
bbd127's avatar
Metalhead71's avatar
I love this one alot! I enjoy its simplicity and its meaning,It sounds good to the ears as well...Also it has a personal meaning to me as well. Very good,I can't say that I have any problems with it...I wish I was well enough educated to help you out.
bbd127's avatar
Thanks! It's always pleasing to discover that a poem resonates with a reader.
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